elrhiarhodan

Title: The Race of Their Lives
For: MMOM - Thirty (One) Dirty Words – Day 26 (Prompt: Challenge)
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: The Flash
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Barry Allen, Harrison Wells | Eobard Thawne; Barry Allen/Harrison Wells | Eobard Thawne
Spoilers/Episode References: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1200
Summary: Early in their relationship - no, not the one where they are battling, but the one where they're lovers - Eobard gives Barry a very interesting challenge. Barry's not quite sure if he should accept it.

Author's Notes: Written for Day 26 of the Merry Month of Masturbation, for the prompt "Challenge". This is a backfill - I'd missed Day 26 and wanted to catch up. The idea comes from Kyele, who has been such an awesome cheerleader for the EoBarry Revealed series, and I wanted to write something special to thank her for her support.

I freely own up to the ridiculous nature of this fic, it is the thirty-first wank fic I've written in the last thirty-one days and I am seriously wanked out. But it's been a hell of a lot of fun, and it's a good thing that the Month of May one comes (haha) once a year.

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( “You're crazy, you know that?” Barry leans back in his chair and stares at his partner. )


( “You're crazy, you know that?” Barry leans back in his chair and stares at his partner. )

Title: When It Comes to The Bennett Family Legacy, Size Matters (GFSP X)
Author: elrhiarhodan
Written For: Round Three of runthecon
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, Neal Caffrey, Peter/Elizabeth/Neal Strongly Implied
Spoilers: Caps from 4.11 – Family Business
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Seriously, you’re worried about warnings? It’s the Giant Floating Stone Penis!
Type: Comic/Picspam - 11 pages/22 panels
Beta Credit: theatregirl7299
Summary: Mozzie and Neal get drunk and contemplate a universal question: Does Size Matter? The answer is obvious, when the Giant Floating Stone Penis is nearby, of course it does.

Author’s Note: Written for sinfulslasher's prompt "Size Doesn't Matter." Technically, Mozzie counts as the "minor character" but the mod, sinfulslasher has assured me that the Giant Floating Stone Penis is a minor character, too. However, the GFSP does not particularly care for the appellation "minor".

Many, many thanks to the generous kanarek13 for the exquisite screen caps.

Tagging tjs_whatnot with the prompt "Well, That's New"

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( When it Comes to the Bennett Family Legacy, Size Does Matter )

Title: The New S.T.A.R. Labs
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: The Flash (TV – 2014)
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Cisco Ramon, Harrison Wells | Earth-2; implied Cisco/Barry Allen, implied (eventual) Cisco/Barry/Harry
Spoilers: General Season 2
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1400
Beta Credit: None
Summary: It's bad enough that Harry Wells has taken over his work room, but to use it to build that is absolutely unforgiveable.

A/N: Absolutely inspired by daria234's response to my request for her headcanon about Earth-2 Harrison Wells in this post on her LJ, specifically about Harrison's favorite kink.

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(  Why Cisco thought that his life would be any different once Jesse was rescued and Zoom defeated, he had no clue. Maybe if Harry had decided to stay on his Earth, in his S.T.A.R. Labs, with its luxurious offices and vanity portraits and endless fountains of money, instead of co-opting his workroom with its sole luxury - a built-in fridge that he kept stocked with tall cans of Red Bull and bottled Starbuck's Frappuccino – things might be just a little better. )

Title: The Bennett Family Legacy Brings Some Holiday Cheer - GFSP IX
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Type: Picspam/Comic
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Donovan (AHS: Hotel), Implied Peter/Neal
Spoilers: Images from AHS: Hotel - Mommy
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Suggestion of Dub-Con, Suggestion of Murder, Drug Use.
Summary: In this AHS: Hotel Crossover, Donovan meets the Bennett Family Legacy. Neal has some words of advice. Do I have to say this is pure crack?

A/N: Many thanks to my dearest kanarek13 for the lovely collared Donovan screen caps.

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( Donovan's in a bit of a situation... )

Title: Up for a Challenge
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe – Set Post Avengers, Pre Winter Soldier, Reference to Iron Man 3
Written For: MMOM 2015
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Tony Stark (self-lover), Steve Rogers; possible Steve/Tony, Tony/Pepper
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 1400
Summary: Steve owes Tony an apology. Somehow, he ends up goading Tony into jerking off. And reciting Pi.

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( He and Tony were in sort of a weird place. They weren't quite friends, but they certainly weren't enemies. They bitched and sniped and jerked each other's chain, but they respected each other, too.  )

Title: Out of Proportion
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Crack
Word Count: ~400
Beta Credit: None
Summary: When you're a were-creature, you need to be careful about what cold medicines you take. They can really screw up your metabolism.

A/N: This one, like yesterday's entry, is solely the fault of my enabler-in-chief, sinfulslasher, who sent me another GIF (at the bottom of the story) wondering if this too could be Mozzie. Should be read in conjunction with A Friend To Predators.

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( Awww, look at him. Sooo cute. )

Title: Upside, Downside
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, Peter/Elizabeth/Neal
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~600
Beta Credit: None
Summary: Set in an alternate universe where Season 6 never happened. And where Neal is occasionally a seal point Siamese cat.

A/N: See end for author's notes. Also, a fill for my Trope Bingo card.

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( Neal turned into a cat on a fairly regular basis these days. )

Title: Below Your Pay Grade
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Reese Hughes, Peter Burke
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~300
Beta Credit: None
Summary: Set during early Season 4, Reese offers to help Peter, but Peter declines his assistance.

A/N: Written for the Single-Prompt/All Writers Challenge at the recent White Collar Meet-Up in D.C. Of course, it’s been cleaned up a little. The prompt, supplied by the generous and extremely talented kanarek13, is below the cut. Also, a fill for a whitecollar100 prompt: 003 – Hunt.

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(  “Peter, I’ve been through this before and it’s not such a big deal. Don’t you want my help?”  )

Title: The Bennett Family Legacy To the Rescue - GFSP VII
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, Neal Caffrey, James Bennett, Dennis Flynn, Peter/Neal Implied
Spoilers: Caps from 4.10 – Vested Interest
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: It’s Giant Floating Stone Penises, For Crying Out Loud
Type: Comic/Picspam
Beta Credit: None
Summary: Set After The Bennett Family Legacy Goes on Walkabout, Mozzie and Neal discover that James has been kidnapped and they try to rescue him.

Author’s Note: An early birthday present for my dearest sinfulslasher. I asked her for an episode, but I didn’t tell her what I wanted it for. I hope she enjoys this cracky installment.

Also (1) - I know that the timeline is out of sync with the canon images, but it’s GIANT FLOATING STONE PENISES, what do you expect?

Also (2) - As always, many, many thanks the wonderful buefo, lauracollared, and rabidchild for the original crack-filled inspiration. And of course, even more thanks to the generous kanarek13 for the exquisite screen caps.

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( The Bennett Family Legacy To the Rescue )

Title: Origin Story, or How Much Is That Doggy In the Window?
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG-13 (For mention of recreational drug use)
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Moz, Peter Burke
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1000
Beta Credit: None, because I wouldn’t dream of inflicting this on my beta readers, I love them too much.
Summary: Neal’s lie in Brass Tacks wasn’t the first untruth he’d told to Peter, because sometimes a lie is a hell of a lot easier to deal with when the truth is too far to the left of insanity.

A/N: See Author’s Notes at the end

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(  Neal might have told Peter that he met Moz when he scammed his shark at “Find the Lady.” He felt bad about that, because as a rule, he didn’t lie to Peter’s face. But all rules have exceptions and Neal was always good at exploiting exceptions. The biggest one was never telling Peter anything that would make him doubt his sanity.  )

Title: The Game of Life - Anarchy Edition (Paladin 'Verse)
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey, Mozzie, OMC (Michael Burke, Peter's father), Peter/Elizabeth/Neal
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Mention of recreational drug use, really bad nicknames
Word Count: ~ 2000
Beta Credit: theatregirl7299 and jrosemary
Summary: Peter and his dad talk every Sunday, mostly about nothing, but sometimes things get a little out of hand. After all, this is Michael Burke, who we first met in Thanksgiving at the Burkes, his alpaca-raising, pot-smoking father.

Author’s Note: Written for the “Parents” square on my Love Bingo card.

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( At precisely eight o’clock, Sunday evening, the phone didn’t ring. Of course not, because Peter was waiting for a call scheduled for eight o’clock that never seemed to happen at that time. Sometimes the call came at 7:42, sometimes at 8:36. Or sometimes, on Monday, a little after nine. )

Title: A Refugee from a Clown College
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey (Peter/Neal)
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~500
Summary: This is what happens when you get dressed in a dark closet.

Written one night (after a few too many glasses of wine, maybe) in response to a Bonus Bomer I posted in one of my rambles (see photo at the end). Sadly, this is a combination that Matt really seems to like these days. Also, for the Nausea Square on my H/C Bingo Card
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( Peter blinked and froze, coffee halfway to his lips. Diana stopped in her tracks and the newest probie walked into her and cringed - waiting to be annihilated on the spot. Clinton gagged and it wasn't because the milk had gone sour. )

Sometimes, des pierres géantes de forme pénienne flottantes just happen.

( The Bennett Family Legacy Makes a Brief Appearance )

Title: Out to Pasture
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: R (or possibly NC-17)
Characters/Pairings: Peter/Neal, Elizabeth Burke, Mozzie Havisham, Diana Berrigan, Reese Hughes
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Alternative Universe (which is, in this case, a warning)
Word Count: ~3500
Beta Credit: coffeethyme4me and jrosemary
Summary: Elizabeth decides that it’s time for Peter and Neal to retire. This is not going to be what you expect.

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( Elizabeth pulled up to the gates of the Havisham Apple Farm. She sat in her truck, letting it idle. It wasn’t too late to turn back; to just drive on, the boys would understand. Hell, they'd never really know. )

Title: Thanksgiving at the Burkes
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey (Peter/Elizabeth/Neal), Satchmo, OCs: Peter’s parents, reference to Peter's twin sister, Isabelle (as mentioned in Privilege). Plus a trio of alpacas – Lola, Blondie and Bruno.
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Ugly sweaters. Pie. Alpacas. Appalling nicknames.
Word Count: ~6200
Beta Credit: rabidchild67
Summary: Peter’s folks invite Neal to spend Thanksgiving with them. Peter’s not exactly sure introducing Neal to them will be a good thing.

A/N: This is, officially, the oldest WIP I have ever finished. I started writing it sometime in April, 2010, added several thousand words in the late fall of 2011, before abandoning again. If not for my lovely friend doctor_fangeek, it may well have been another year before this was finished. This one’s for you, doctor_fangeek!

Consider this part of the Paladin ‘verse, and note that Michael and Margaret Burke bear little resemblance to Peter's parents from The Wonder(ful) Years 'verse, although I love them almost as much.

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(  Peter was very hesitant about bringing Neal to Thanksgiving with his parents. Not that he thought they’d figure out that he and Elizabeth were in an emotional and sexual relationship with Neal. No – what Peter was worried about was what Neal would get up to with his folks, his father in particular. )

Title: Dripping With Evilness
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, June Ellington
Prompt #070 – Roll
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 300 – Exactly
Summary: Mozzie meets his downfall. Written for the WC100 Anniversary Challenge.

A/N: No beta, all mistakes are mine and mine alone.

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(  Moz knew this wasn’t a good idea, but June asked so little of him and she gave so much. )

Title: Cheekbone City
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey (P/E/N), June Ellington, Cindy the Granddaughter
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Full Highland Formal Dress, The Dior New Look
Word Count: ~1500
Summary: Peter and Neal make a bet and they both rise to the occasion. Consider this part of my Vinegar Hill Continuum, definitely post-anklet.

(  Elizabeth was deep in the closet – no, not that closet – the one in the guest room, rooting around for … damn, his brain shied away from the whole idea.  )

Title: The World In Us
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Neal Caffrey, Mozzie, Peter Burke,
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Reference to drug culture, hypothetical drug use (hence PG-13, not G rating). Still more slightly angsty crack. Still of the kitten!fic variety. With added ‘nip.
Word Count: ~2000
Summary: Continues the story from Here Comes That Sinking Feeling. Neal is at the Burke house, watching Peter. He’s bored out of his mind.

A/N: No beta this time - all mistakes are mine and mine alone. Title from a quotation by Anais Nin: “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Many thanks to rabidchild67 for her advice about cats on the 'nip.

(  “So, where’s the Cat Suit?” Moz shook a small baggie and looked around the kitchen and living room.  )

Title: How To Ruin a Perfectly Good Christmas Party
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Elizabeth Burke (POV), Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, others
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: A rare act of gun violence. Crack.
Word Count: ~1000
Summary: There are some things that Neal Caffrey can not, will not tolerate. I don’t blame him one bit.

(  Elizabeth looked out over the people in her living room and let out a small sigh of satisfaction. )

Title: Not Quite Cappuccino in the Clouds
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Moz; reference to Peter and Elizabeth Burke (P/E/N)
Spoilers: Oh, certainly not.
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Death and consumption of a small urban animal. Part of the Transformation Series. Crack. Mild horror. Wha? Tentacles. Wings. Humor. You’ve been warned.
Word Count: ~600
Summary: Neal and Moz decide what do on such a pleasant Sunday afternoon.

(  A pigeon landed with a flutter of wings, started cooing, and Neal glanced up in annoyance. )

Title: Mediation
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Elizabeth Burke, Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey (P/E/N)
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: An argument for the DC’verse fandom?
Word Count: ~300
Summary: Elizabeth hates when her boys argue.

(  “I want the two of you to stop fighting, NOW.”  )

Title: I Have Missed Your Sighs
Author:  elrhiarhodan
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing:Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey, Mozzie. Peter/Neal/Elizabeth
Fandom:  White Collar
Spoilers: 3.04 - Dentist of Detroit, 3.07 - Taking Account, 3.10 - Countdown 
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Slightly angsty crack. Or is that slightly cracky angst?
Word Count: ~3800
Summary: Future fic, but not the Vinegar Hill continuum. Moz and Neal have had a falling out, and Peter wants to heal the breach. Something goes very, very wrong. For my Hurt/Comfort Bingo Card - Abandonment Issues.

Beta credit: The superiorly awesome rabidchild67.

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( Hunting down a professional paranoid was never a good idea. )

I’ve never prefaced a fic with an explanation before, but this one – it really needs it. Saturday morning, a friend sent me an email that she was recovering from a bitching attack of the cramps. It’s been a while since I’ve had those, but I do remember the feeling. And I was a little inspired.

So I took a little break from all the angst and wrote this. It is dedicated to all my friends, here and in RL who have problems like Elizabeth Burke does.

---

Title: Lunchtime in the Oversharers Universe
Author: elrhiarhodan
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing: The Harvard Crew, Plus Neal. Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Clinton Jones, Diana Berrigan, Neal/Clinton, Neal/Peter, Diana/Elizabeth, Peter/Elizabeth, quite possibly Neal/Peter/Clinton/Diana/Elizabeth
Fandom: White Collar
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Insane Crack. Crackity crack. Discussion of PMS and possible solutions for The Cramps. Nipples. Abuse of fine EVOO. Marital discord. Breathing. Annoying Behaviour. Basically … crack.
Word Count: ~1200
Summary: You know that foursome at the table next to you in the restaurant you like to escape to for a nice quiet lunch? You both hate them and envy them. They talk too loud about their sexual problems or conquests? Well, these four are those people. You don’t know whether to yell at them to shut the fuck up or to talk louder so you can hear everything.


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( Peter, Neal, Clinton and Diana were having lunch at their favorite burger joint. Normally, the four of them refrained from alcohol during lunch, but Peter was hitting the beer kind of hard. )

Title: Your Sand Castle Virtues Are All Swept Away
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Peter/Neal
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Crack AND Angst. Only in Underpants’verse can the two co-exist so peacefully.
Word Count: ~1500
Summary: It’s Underpants’verse! Peter’s still at it, but this time, Neal doesn’t need webcams to figure out who the thief is.

(  It takes Neal about six months to figure out who is stealing and returning his dirty underpants. And he’s annoyed at himself that it took that long. )

Title: Down in the Willow Garden
Author:  elrhiarhodan
Rating: NC-17 
Characters/Pairing: Peter/Neal/Elizabeth, Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, Satchmo
Fandom:  White Collar
Spoilers: None 
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Caning, Crack, Mild Horror
Word Count: ~1000
Summary: Set after Point Blank, Neal and the Burkes have a little problem with what Satchmo found in their back yard. They deal with it.

A/N: Story inspired by a tweet from Jeff Eastin (see end of story for screen cap). Also prompted by monkeyonthelam’s prompt “Patio” for Promptfest VI (which is still going strong). And a very gratuitous fill for my Kink Bingo square, Caning.

The title is from a traditional Appalachian bluegrass murder song and should not be confused the W.B. Yeats poem, Down by the Salley Gardens.

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( “Hey hon - can you come downstairs?” El went to the third floor where her husband was playing with Neal.  )