White Collar Ficlet - A Refugee From a Clown College

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: A Refugee from a Clown College
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey (Peter/Neal)
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~500
Summary: This is what happens when you get dressed in a dark closet.

Written one night (after a few too many glasses of wine, maybe) in response to a Bonus Bomer I posted in one of my rambles (see photo at the end). Sadly, this is a combination that Matt really seems to like these days. Also, for the Nausea Square on my H/C Bingo Card
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Peter blinked and froze, coffee halfway to his lips. Diana stopped in her tracks and the newest probie walked into her and cringed - waiting to be annihilated on the spot. Clinton gagged and it wasn't because the milk had gone sour.

It was Neal.

His suit was impeccably tailored, his shoes shined to a mirror polish. The pocket square placed just so. But the shirt. Oh my god, that shirt. It looked like something Laura Ingles might have worn when she lived in that little house on the prairie. Or maybe something she used to clean up after the horses.

It was gingham. Blue and white checks. Not subtle squares, like the shirt that Peter wore to death (the one that Neal always said reminded of pajamas). It was bright blue and bright white.

Maybe it would have been okay with that suit, it had a subtle check pattern. But the tie, the tie killed it. It was blue-green with ivory and red diagonal stripes. It would have been fine with almost any other shirt in Neal's wardrobe.

Peter knew what happened, he understood the physics and the probabilities, but that didn't mean he had to like it. When you have smoking hot sex and get nasty all over your lover, but can't find the light switch in a dark closet, accidents like this are bound to happen. Even when your lover is sartorially charmed and dresses like he's a permanent fixture on Blackwell's famous list.

But sometime he pairs the wrong shirt with the wrong tie and ends up looking like a refugee from clown college.

Neal took in the silence. He looked up at Peter, standing on the balcony. Peter brushed his hand down his own tie and shook his head. Thank god they finally learned how to communicate. Neal opened the bottom drawer - his "tie drawer" and pulled out a navy tie with tiny white dots and casually changed into it.

The world started spinning on its axis again. People went back to work. All was right in the universe.



FIN

Comments

[coffeethyme4me.livejournal.com]

I seriously, seriously, seriously needed this. I've felt like I want to vomit all day (for days, actually); at least now it's for a *good* reason.

LU.

[elrhiarhodan]

HUGS YOU SO HARD!

Thank you for reading this, and I am so happy it gave you the "right" reaction!

[ultracape.livejournal.com]

Come on, like anyone gets that far. I mean, really, if Matt Bomer were walking head on towards me, I would NOT know what colors or patterns he was wearing. On the other hand, if he were walking away from me, I'd notice but you can't see anymore than a collar and certainly not a tie at that angle.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you for your feedback.

[kanarek13]

Ahaha, LOL \o/ Well, it really did happen for a very, very good reason :P LOVE THIS \o/

[elrhiarhodan]

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't find the pics, but I do know that Matt's worn that shirt and tie combo other times, not just for the Park & Bond shoot.

[dizzydrea.livejournal.com]

My sister and I were talking fashion today (as in: what should women "of a certain age" be wearing, or not wearing, as the case may be). Perhaps someone should have had that conversation with Mr. Bomer. Because, while we're not usually looking at his clothing (having much better things to look at), we also don't want to be repelled by him, for ANY reason.

Note to self, Bomer: lose the tie; it's hideous.

Although, if he wants to claim he got dressed in a dark closet because he was too... um, distracted... I might be willing to buy it. I'll just make sure to wear sunglasses. Very dark sunglasses.

[elrhiarhodan]

I know what you mean. The first time I saw that picture, I was so enthralled by the smile, I didn't notice the clothing...but then (UGH!)

And oddly, I keep seeing pictures of Matt in that shirt and tie combo ... WHY OH WHY?

[kanarek13]

Heee... he seems to have a few very similar ties and is alternating between different levels of hideous :D

But I still love him *hugs Matty* :D

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

Went shopping with DH Friday for his new shoes and the shop had plenty of plaids shirts and plaid shorts!! Anyone remember Matt wearing a plaid suit at a fashion show (think it was plaid and not checked, and about the same time saw Buddy Edsen in a B&W movie wearing near identical suit, I swear!!) At least the tie didn't have reindeer with a red nose that lights up.

[elrhiarhodan]

You mean this one?

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

That's probable the one, but I remember it much worst. Today watched Royal Pain 1st episode this season and one of the fashion designers towards end came out in plaid jacket with MATCHING hat!!!!!

[sapphire2309]

I love this. I love it! And Neal has a tie drawer?

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

And yup, Neal has a tie drawer...check out "On Guard" - Episode 1 of Season 3.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

{nods} Makes perfect sense to me...

[calis-1st.livejournal.com]

First of all, I love the story - it brought a huge grin to my face.

Re: the pictures - I actually like the tie a lot, but that checked shirt has no right to exist with a suit. Your LHOTP description is quite apropos.

And that gray plaid suit in the second picture - all I can say is, WTF?????? No, Matty, no! That's just wrong on sooooo many levels.

Thanks for posting this!

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Oh my... that shirt with that tie... no.

:D

Amusing little ficlet to address this issue. LOL.

[sinfulslasher]

Aww, come on! Neal (and Matty, for that matter) can wear anything and still look good! Even a bright yellow suit with neon green stripes and purple polka dots! (Okay, well, maybe not... O.o) I personally don't mind the combo all that much, tbh. I find the plaid suit in the pic you posted in the comments a lot more hideous. O.o You should write a ficlet about that fashion crime! *g*

But hell, there was a damn good reason for the li'l mishap, and I'm perfectly fine with it. Okay, actually, I wouldn't mind a prequel explaining in great detail what exactly happened in that closet... *waggles eyebrows*

[dennih23.livejournal.com]

LOL - what a fun way to start off the week :)

[pucktheplayer.livejournal.com]

LOL, this was so cute! I've decided he gets too distracted by his kids and just grabs anything within reach. I know how THAT feels, hahaha. Love the 'why'... yumminess.

[hawk-soaring.livejournal.com]

LOL I really don'y understand the combination of patterns but he's not the first one I've seen make that same mistake. O.O

[maiac.livejournal.com]

I need crackfic today! (See my LJ for details.) Thanks!

But OW! He really wore that?