White Collar Ficlet - Out of Proportion

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: Out of Proportion
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Crack
Word Count: ~400
Beta Credit: None
Summary: When you're a were-creature, you need to be careful about what cold medicines you take. They can really screw up your metabolism.

A/N: This one, like yesterday's entry, is solely the fault of my enabler-in-chief, sinfulslasher, who sent me another GIF (at the bottom of the story) wondering if this too could be Mozzie. Should be read in conjunction with A Friend To Predators.

__________________



"Awww, look at him. Sooo cute." El cupped her hand around Moz and fed him a piece of broccoli. The little guy seemed to enjoy it immensely.

"Well, this is something new." Peter peered over his wife's shoulder and stared at their friend. "It's not even the right time of the month for his change.

Neal just opened his mouth and started meowing. True to his breed, Neal-as-Cat was mouthy and opinionated.

"You think it's because of the cold he has? That it's affecting his transformative powers?" El asked, but she didn't stop making funny faces at the tiny creature in her hand.

Neal yowled.

"And he took too much of his bee pollen concoction?"

The sound that came out of Neal-as-Cat's mouth was the feline equivalent of "affirmative".

El scratched Moz between his delicate ears and marveled at how responsive he was to her caress. "Well, I guess that makes sense. Though Moz should know better than to take untested drugs now that he's a were-creature."

Peter chimed in, "I suppose that caring for a gerbil can't be all that different from caring for an albino chinchilla. Do you think he wants some pesto-in-a-tube?"

Instead of answering Neal jumped up onto the island where they were all congregated. Moz froze and El could feel the tiny creature's already rapid heartbeat triple as Neal tried to investigate. "Peter, take Neal away, he's terrifying Mozzie."

Ignoring his friend's ear-splitting protests, Peter picked Neal up by the scruff of his neck and deposited next to Satchmo. The Lab sighed, gave him a long suffering look and draped a heavy paw over Neal, pinning him.

When he rejoined Elizabeth at the kitchen island, she had a curious look on her face and Moz was back to ecstatically consuming the broccoli. "What's the matter, hon?"

"Will you look at the size of that thing."

Peter blinked, at first not getting what his wife was talking about. She tickled him under his chin, and Mozzie rolled over, sat up and started flailing his feet.

Peter got an eyeful. "That's not his tail."

El laughed. "Nope."

Peter just shook his head. "Well, some things don't change, no matter what species you are."




FIN

Comments

[amadi]

Oh my gosh. Excellent.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so much!

[dizzydrea.livejournal.com]

Because of course Mozzie would be that rarest of all were-creatures: the multi-shifter, able to shift into multiple different forms depending on his mood and outside influences at the time. But always something small and furry (and well-endowed, because he's still got an ego to maintain, thankyouverymuch).

Oy.

[elrhiarhodan]

Mozzie the multishifter!

And regardless of the form, yes - Moz will always be amply endowed!

Thank you!

[sherylyn]

Absolutely what dizzydrea said: Of *course* Mozzie would be able to shift into multiple creatures! He has to be able to go incognito when necessary ;-)

And as for Neal... well, glad Satchmo's at least as patient as this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSugtlbxA18

[elrhiarhodan]

You know... we don't know where Moz was when Percy was running around the FBI offices, right?

And I am hysterical over that video. It was actually the inspiration for Satchmo's behavior here. I'd seen the GIF of it weeks ago:



Thank you!

[sherylyn]

LOLOL This is VERY true! How do we know they're not really the same person?? I mean, Neal thought Percy was in the case he gave back to Moz, but did he actually see Percy in there once he was back in Moz's company???

That .gif is adorable, but I love the video even more simply b/c it also shows the kitten just wiggly out from under that huge paw and going right back to what he was doing. I wondered if it might not be your inspiration for Satchmo in this, because it's just *so* pefect!!
(ETA: Icon is our Fiyero, when he was tiny [he's so NOT anymore!]; seemed too appropriate not to use ;-))

[pipilj.livejournal.com]

hehe this adorable. love that Neal cat was opinionated. Poor Satchmo has a lot to deal with, his human family regularly transforming. Wonder if Mozzie is conspiracy theorist in his animal form?
Peter got an eyeful. "That's not his tail."
El laughed. "Nope." LOL

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so much!

Poor, poor Satchmo. He probably wants his own transformative powers.

[maiac.livejournal.com]

Hee! (Chinchilla!Mozzie can have my share of the broccoli.)

My favorite moment: Satchmo, the responsible adult, pinning Neal down.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

And yes, Satchmo is definitely the responsible adult in this household. The Paw of Reason as someone had commented.

How are you doing?

[maiac.livejournal.com]

Doing much better, except I still need to catch up on sleep.

The strangest things have associations: Yesterday was "collect the trash for pickup on Wednesday morning" day, and I was sad because it reminded me there's no litter box to clean.

Kinda don't miss the grains of litter that always got tracked all over the house, I admit.

[elrhiarhodan]

{{{{ HUGS }}}}

It is the small things that seem to bring the tears.

But I'm glad you're doing better.

[sinfulslasher]

AI IZ STILL ENABLUHR! \o/

(I really need an icon declaring me to be Enabler-in-Chief.)

I actually think Moz digs his were!gerbil persona. Or certain parts of its anatomy, at least. *g*

[elrhiarhodan]

Yes, m'dear. You are my very own, very special enabler.

And I think you're right, Moz probably does dig being a gerbil.

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded that an elephant's penis is over 6 feet long

[elrhiarhodan]

Yup. But not really out of proportion, considering the size of an elephant.

[sandy79.livejournal.com]

Girl, what are you doing to me?!? I thought yesterday's story was over-the-top adorable, and you go and top it with this little ditty! And again, they all stay in character, even when half of them are in animal form! But the gold star goes to Satchmo this time - for pinning Neal down XD And the final dialogue between Peter and El is just glorious! Thanks for another great story in this new verse!

[elrhiarhodan]

Sorry.

Nope, I'm not.

Thank you, though - for reading and letting me know how much you've enjoyed these little bits of crackity-crack.

[riverotter1951.livejournal.com]

Priceless. Poor Mozzie and I agree with Dizzydrea. Interesting about an elephant.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

[theatregirl7299]

OMG I love this!!!!! A perfect thing to brighten my day.

But I do have one question....

How does Peter know how "big" Mozzie is in human form....?

(Inquiring minds want to know)

[elrhiarhodan]

How does Peter know how "big" Mozzie is in human form....?

That, my friend, is a story for another day!

And thank you so much. So glad to bring a little joy into your life.

[caseyf123.livejournal.com]

Too cute. My favorite part was Satch pinning Neal down.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so much. As hurinhouse said, "Satchmo, the Paw of Reason".

There's ficcage in there, I'm sure of it.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

as;dfjasl;fjaslfjas;

Mozzie REALLY loves his broccoli! OMG! This was awesome! But, like theatregirl7299, I wonder, just how does Peter know what Mozzie has in his human form. ;)

[elrhiarhodan]

Hee, thank you so very much.

And like I told TG, that is a story for another day!

[nywcgirl]

He is too precious, hamsters are cute, had several ones. But for those with dirty minds... it is his tail :-))
really funny story, love the way Neal meddles in.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

It may (or may not) be his tale in the GIF, but it's definite NOT his tale in the story.

[hurinhouse.livejournal.com]

Interesting that Peter's so well informed of Mozzie's human anatomy. :) Satchmo, the Paw of Reason. I'm sure Neal's thrilled.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

And yes, Satchmo is The Paw of Reason!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sapphire2309]

I.... I cAN'T THIS IS TOO CUTE.

Satchmo! The broccoli! Mozzie being cute! Neal-as-cat communicating effectively with humans! I could explode, this is too much cuteness :3333

[elrhiarhodan]

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Thank you so very much, I am delighted you're enjoying these little bits of silliness.

[kanarek13]

These stories and GIFs are killin' me ded ♥

[elrhiarhodan]

{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥{♥HUGS♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}♥}

So happy I could make you happy!

[morganslady.livejournal.com]

Cute.. I love that Mozzie can change into a variety of creatures, always a different disguise..

[leesa_perrie]

So, so cute!! Neal-cat is adorable, especially when Satchmo pins him down, lol! And Mozzie as a gerbil is so cute! :D