So the seals have come off on the last of the exchanges I'd signed up and written for (thoughts on that in another post), and I figured it's time to post an update to the fics I've been talking about in various posts.

Title: Booked and Bespoked - A Mills & Boon Romance
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Characters Harry Hart | Galahad, Merlin, Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Alastair Morton | Percival, Victoria Winslow (RED), Original Female Characters, Original Male Characters, Roxy Morton | Lancelot, Tilde (mention of)
Pairings: Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin
Word Count: ~31064
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Evil mother, Expressions of Homophobia
Summary:Merlin is one of the most prolific and popular writers of genre fiction in Great Britain, but he's suffering from a tremendous case of writer's block. His editor, Eggsy, suggests he go back to what he'd been doing when he'd written his breakthrough novel nearly thirty years ago - a tell-all book about being a paid companion for high-society women, or a "walker" as they were once called. The thing is, that is exactly what Merlin had been, a paid companion; the more he thinks about it, the more he finds the idea appealing. He can go back out in that world and gather fodder for a sequel.

Harry Hart, Marquess Cardoc and owner of Kingsman Media, is sick and tired of his horrible mother trying to marry him off to eligible women. No matter how many times he's told her that he's gay, she doesn't want to believe him. His senior fiction editor and good friend, Eggsy Unwin, suggests that he find someone to fake date - like those men that used to escort women to society parties.

When Harry and Merlin finally meet, it seems like fate has made a perfect match.

Author’s Note: The first of two stories written for the first Kingsman Reverse Bang, for artwork created by my co-mod and partner in crime, anarchycox.

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Booked and Bespoked - A Mills & Boon Romance (On AO3)

Title: Shooting Star
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Characters Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad, Merlin, Charlie Hesketh, Roxy Morton | Lancelot, Alastair Morton | Percival, James Spencer | Lancelot, Chester King | Arthur, Original Characters, Elton John (as himself)
Pairings: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Word Count: ~50071
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Mild Drug Usage, Suicide of Minor Character (who dies in canon), Expressions of Homophobia, Closeted Sexuality
Summary: Gary "Eggsy" Unwin had once been the hottest musical act since a certain moppet had been discovered from his YouTube videos, but criminally bad management had sunk his career - to the point that both his recording contract and his management company have terminated their relationships with Eggsy. Bored, unhappy, bitter at how everything's gone to shite, he calls his dealer, looking to score some coke.

It doesn't work out as he expects.

Author’s Note: Written for the first annual Kingsman Reverse Bang, for the artwork by mmouse.

Shooting Star (On AO3)


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Title: Ten Minutes Ago (I met you)
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Characters Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad, Merlin, Original Male Character (Prince Sebastian Clarack), Original Female Character (Queen Davina Clarack), Charlie Hesketh, Roxy Morton | Lancelot
Pairings: Eggsy/Original Male Character
Word Count: ~20693
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Canon-Level violence, Politics, Royal AU
Summary: Walking home from the tailor shop, Eggsy is about to start a very well-earned vacation when he hears the sound of a high-powered rifle. Eggsy being who he is, runs towards the danger and finds a diplomatic motorcade under attack from a roof-top sniper. He saves the day, and more importantly, the two royals who had been the shooter's target.

Prince Sebastian Clarack, heir to the throne of his tiny North Sea island kingdom, finds himself obsessed with the man who'd saved his life. The man he only knows as Galahad is strong and beautiful and Sebastian finds he wants to know everything about him. It's a pity his Uncle Christie, who works with Galahad, as well as the stern Harry Hart, who's been his mother's tailor for as long as Sebastian can remember, and just happens to be Galahad's boss, won't tell him a damn thing about the man.

Spies, after all, need to keep their identities a secret.

Author’s Note: Written for the Just Married 2019 Exchange, for my dearest anarchycox. By way of enticement, Richard Madden is fancast as Prince Sebastian and one of the very early scenes is a riff on a key scene from Madden's BBC series, Bodyguard (not to be confused with the horrid 1980s movie with a similar name). Casting Richard Madden as a character named "Sebastian" is a thing in certain sectors of the fandom.

Ten Minutes Ago (I met you) (On AO3)


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Title: He is the Cat (that walks by himself)
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingman (Movies)
Rating: PG-13
Characters Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Merlin, Harry Hart | Galahad, Alastair Morton 
 Percival, mention of Roxanne Morton, mention of Tilde
Pairings: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, background Roxy/Tilde
Word Count: 14,966
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Summary: Magic happens in the oddest places. Sometimes all it takes is a supremely ugly cat and a well-timed ice storm to bring two unlikely people together.

Author’s Note: Written for the Pining Exchange 2019, for my dearest friend, anarchycox.

He is the Cat (that walks by himself) (On AO3)

I was lucky enough to snag a ticket to last night's advance screening of Rocketman (apparently this is a thing with Fandango - they had one for Shazam, too, which I hadn't known about).

In short, the movie was fucking awesome. At length ... ( Under a cut for some light spoilers, all images are from the widely released trailer )

Title: A Chance To Try Again
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: NC-17
Characters Original Characters
Pairings: Male Military Leader Who Won The War/His New Husband Male Military Leader Who Lost The War, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Word Count: ~12,000
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: A/B/O Consent Issues, Political Marriage
Summary: As cadets at the Space Academy, Arris Gyreth, an all-too-noble Alpha Prime, had regularly helped Dezko Corrick, a scrappy Omega from the Confederation, through his heats.

Twenty-three years later, to end a long war, Arris Gyreth, now Lord Commander of the Imperium, demands Fleet Admiral Dezko Corrick's hand in marriage. Dez must also explicitly declare that any offspring of the marriage will be subject to the laws of the Imperium.

Dez is very confused, to say the least.


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Author’s Notes: Written for the 2019 round of smutswap, linking here now the covers are off. This is a challenge that gives me a chance to stretch my original fic muscles, as well as my porny instincts. Enjoy!

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A Chance To Try Again - Read on AO3

Title: Each Day I Learn Just a Little Bit More
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman
Rating: PG
Characters Eggsy Unwin, Original Male Character, Merlin, Harry Hart
Pairings: Eggsy & OMC, Harry/Merlin
Word Count: ~7100
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Attempted non-consensual drugging (roofie), Prior, off-camera non-consensual sexual encounter, allusion to under-age prostitution
Summary: Twelve years a Kingsman and Eggsy has his decent post-mission routine down pat. A glass of Scotch, a good steak, and some vigorous sex with a paid professional. But tonight, for some reason, he breaks his routine after the Scotch and the steak, and heads to a dance club on Old Compton Street in Soho. Standing at the bar and watching all the pretty boys twirling on the dance floor, he notices someone drop something into a drink left behind on the bar. A drink belonging to a rather lovely young Scotsman with brilliant blue eyes.

The evening might have ended most satisfactorily in a bed, but he'd made the mistake of offering to listen to the young man's story.

Or, as Albert Einstein once said, "Coincidences are G-d's way of remaining anonymous".

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Author’s Notes: As I noted in the AO3 tags, this is all eggsyobsessed's fault in creating a lovely OMC and fancasting Richard Madden. She'd given me permission to play in her SebWin sandbox, but instead, I decided to riff on the idea of an older Eggsy - just not quite as old as her magnificent version - and a different kind of meet-cute, but with plenty of good single malt whisky and Harry and Merlin as Eggsy's two dads.

It feels rather appropriate to use a line from the Elton John classic, "This Song Has No Title" as the title for this story.

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Each Day I Learn Just a Little Bit More - Read on AO3

Title: He Called You By Your Real Name
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman/James Bond (Craig Movies)
Rating: PG
Characters Merlin, James Bond
Pairings: Merlin/Eggsy, Bond/Q (alluded)
Word Count: ~1588
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Single use of an ethnic slur
Summary: Merlin and Bond meet on the Vauxhall Bridge, right across from the SIS Building. Merlin needs a favor from his old friend.

Author’s Note: Part of my Personal Fic Challenge 2019, for the prompt "He Called You By Your Real Name". This is a short version of a story that I've had in my head for several years, since I found Our Friends In The North and discovered that Mark Strong and Daniel Craig are good friends.

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( Two AM and the Vauxhall Bridge is mostly deserted. Mostly, not completely, however. ) (On AO3)

Title: Life's a Long Song
Author: elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan / elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Characters: Harry Hart | Galahad, Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Merlin (Kingsman), Roxy Morton | Lancelot, Charlie Hesketh, Chester King | Arthur, Victoria Winslow
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin,
Word Count: 32,333 / 8/8 Chapters
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Discussion of HIV/AIDS and discussion of a memory for a request for assisted Suicide (at the end)

Summary: Harry Hart, multiple award-winning playwright and screenwriter and sometime actor, has occasionally had lapses in judgment. The biggest one of late had been an ill-considered relationship with the young and not-so-talented actor, Charlie Hesketh. It's awards season, Harry's nominated for several BAFTAs, and so is Charlie. Merlin, Harry's best friend since their teenage years, and his agent, is insisting that Harry needs to bring someone prettier, younger, and more talented as his arm candy for all the red carpet events coming on during Awards Season.

And he has just the young actor in mind - Eggsy Unwin, recent RADA graduate (with honors), has been getting the rawest of deals from his own agent, Chester King. Merlin knows that Eggsy will appeal to Harry for many reasons, and offers Eggsy a representation contract if he just goes to meet a client of his - no other strings attached.

Related Work: Artwork for Plays Mentioned in Life's a Long Song

Author’s Note: See below the cut

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On AO3: Life's a Long Song

( Copious Author's Notes )

Dear Author:

( Thank you for writing for me. I know I'll love what you create. )

While I don't have a lot of works in progress, I do have a problem controlling my word count. It's rare that I can write something under five thousand words these days. It's not that I feel that my writing is bloated or redundant, it's that I just get so enthralled with a story idea that I let it take over my brain.

I used to do wonderful short stories and ficlets; three hundred words was a sweet spot, and for years, my average story length was between two and four thousand words and completed in a week or less. But lately, my stories are just getting longer and taking longer to write, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, I would like to be able to write shorter, less wordy stories, too.

Last December, anarchycox and I were talking about her WIP problem, and how every idea she had seemed to go epic, and we brainstormed rules for her personal writing challenge. After finishing two challenge assignments (chocolateboxcomm and poetry_fiction), I thought this would be a good time to start my own personal writing challenge, employing a few of Anarchy's excellent ideas.

Using my very beloved list of prompts from The Writer's Book of Days, I've eliminated prompts I've written before (I've used this list for a variety of personal writing projects over the last several years) and then ruthlessly cut it down to one hundred prompts, and each are numbered.

The goal is to write two fics a month based on one of the prompts. I have a random number generator that will give me three numbers, and I pick one prompt from the three. I'm allowed to roll twice, because the goal is to write a story, not to NOT write a story.

Rules:

1 – Each story can be no more than five thousand words and be complete when posted.
2 – Stories may be interconnected but they have to stand alone.
3 – Stories can be based on already published worlds/series.
4 – Prompts are selected on the first and third Sundays of each month

Now every good challenge needs a reward. If I complete three months in a row, the fourth month I can take two prompts on the first Sunday of the month and combine them into a single fic and write something that is more than 5k, but it MUST be finished that month and be 10k or less. Or I can continue on as before and write two stories 5k or less each.

Wish me luck!

Title: The Summer Folly
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: Kingsman
Rating: R (for sexual content
Characters: Harry Hart | Galahad, Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Charlie Hesketh, Original Female Characters, Original Male Characters
Pairings: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin (Hartwin)
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~6800
Summary: A non-spy AU, set in Cornwall, circa 1924. Harry Hart is a landed aristocrat and Eggsy, a student at Oxford, and somewhat friends with Harry’s young cousin, Charlie, has been invited to spend the summer at Harry’s estate. Nothing, though, is quite as simple as it seems.

Author's Notes: Written for the 2019 poetry_fiction challenge, for the snippet from O Great Beauties! by Tishani Doshi

Just explain the mystery to me.
Did darkness burn all around?
Or did you see, as I see—a quiet wood
Outside the town, with a banquet
In a field of belladonna?

I don't know why, but this snippet took me in the direction of Kingsman meets Downton Abbey (or Brideshead Revisited, or God Is An Englishman if you prefer), or maybe I just wanted an excuse to put Harry and Eggsy in period formalwear.

Fills the "Moonlight" square on my Fluff Bingo card, the "May/December Romance" on my Trope Bingo card, and the "Historical A/U" on my Gen Prompt Bingo card.

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( There are standards to be maintained, especially for those apparently not born to the manor. ) (On AO3)

I've had reason to go back and look at some of the ways that I've participated in fannish activity on journal-based platforms (LJ and now DW). While in my early days in fandom, I had avoided signing up for too many challenges and exchanges. (IIRC, the first one I remember signing up for had been a bit of a disaster. I had to pull out of because of my dad's final illness and the mod refused to allow my exchange participant to give me my gift because apparently when her brother's girlfriend has been in the hospital I hadn't been sufficiently sympathetic. Nine years later, I'm still scratching my head over that one.)

But I rarely met a bingo challenge that I didn't sign up for. I liked them because the prompts were good at sparking my imagination, there was no real penalty for failing to make a bingo, and even if the mods would be strict enough to block me from getting a card in the next round, nothing could stop me from continuing to work on the card I already had even after the round closed. Besides, I honestly don't think any mod on any bingo challenge has ever had the patience or time to go through hundreds of signups and match those with requestors who never posted a bingo.

Anyway, in lieu of writing this evening, I gave in to my inner completist (she's a bitch but I love her), and I rounded up all of my bingo cards. There were quite a few of them.

Thirty to be precise.

Hurt/Comfort - 7
Trope - 5
Kink - 4
Angst - 2
AU - 2
Love - 3
Gen Prompt - 2
Kiss - 1
Season of Kink - 1
Fluff - 1
Dark - 1
Cotton Candy - 1

I have to admit that I'm a bit of a nut. I always look at a bingo card wanting to make a blackout (I've done that five times) but if I can't, I find I'm paralyzed and can't even make a one-line bingo!

What I've found interesting and a tiny bit annoying as I've gone back through my emails (thank you gmail, I don't have to get rid of anything) is that so many of those cards had been parts of pre-generated sets (For example, I found bits of code in the HTML of one card referring to Card_1_of_10 in the table header, another that simply said Card_5), which might explain why I kept getting cards for a certain bingo that reused the same prompts every year (out of a published set of several hundred prompt), because my opt-outs were the same every single year.

While I love my new Fluff Bingo card, I really adore my Trope Bingo card. The trope_bingo mods decided that they wanted people to actually write and create stuff, so they posted the prompt list and pointed people to a bingo card generator. I look at this miracle of Javascript (or whatever it is) and wonder, why can't all bingo comms work this? Tell someone signing up to pick fifty prompts, put it in the generator, and post the card to the comm. Or if there's a trust issue (people cheating and using prompts not on the list), have participants still pick their fifty prompts and let the mods generate the actual card and send out the HTML. Because using the same handful of cards over and over again, or having 500+ prompts but only having 100 active prompts that get onto actual cards doesn't make a lot of sense.

It's not my intention to slight the hard work that bingo community moderators do - especially come the end of the round, or for those comms that stay in active communication with members through out the round. It's just so darn frustrating to see the same prompts appearing over and over again.

I have both PNGs and HTML for all thirty cards, including the cards that had only been provided as images (Love Bingo, two rounds of Kink Bingo), so if anyone wants to find some inspiration and doesn't want to sign up for their own card, or the comm is closed down (I think only H/C, Trope, Gen Prompt and Season of Kink are still open for business), just drop a comment and I'll respond. Or if you just want a random card to play with, just ask.