A few people on my flist have been doing year-end reviews and assessments of their writing, and I thought - hey, that sounds like an interesting exercise.
( Or a nice way to keep me from doing any real work. )I know it sounds like a lot of self-wank (okay, mental masturbation), but I really don't know how this happened, and if I count all the WiPs (active and non-active), that total increases to over 300k. Again, WTF?
Anyway, while I am on the topic of my own writing, I'd like to do a little self-assessment (a/k/a more mental masturbation).
Way back when... I discovered fandom last January. I was laid up with severe muscle spasms in my right arm - which turned out to be herniated discs in my neck. One of the blogs I subscribed to,
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annesible's
Friskbiskit, had an
entry about my new favorite television show, White Collar, and it just lit up all the things that I was subconsciously taken note of - namely the dark homoerotic subtext between Peter and Neal. It also pointed me to some pretty awesome fanfiction (something I was only peripherally aware of). It took a few days to find the comms on Live Journal, but it didn't take long before I was totally hooked.
What prompted me to write my first fic was the way that the show and a lot of the otherwise terrific fic (mis)handled Neal's parole status, i.e., the constant threats to dump him back in jail without due process. Admittedly, that first effort probably should have been a meta and not a story, but I knew squat about metas and the like. The fact is, I got pretty beat up on that story. If it wasn't for one very nice, very special person, I may have quit before I got started. That someone was
photoash, who came to my rescue, propped me up, dusted me off and told me what I needed to do to fix some of the technical problems I was having. In the process, we became very good friends, and my life is better for knowing her.
Photoash isn't the only person who's made my life better.
gyzymreached out to me early on and has (either accidently or through very devious design) become my writing partner (so it's kind of all her fault). She encourages me when I'm down on myself, she yells at me loud enough to drown out the suck-voice, she tosses plot bunnies to me when my mind is completely barren, and is someone I am very proud to know.
hoosierbitch, or HB for short, is yet another member of the WC writing community who I am honored to call a friend. Not only am I blown away by her talent, but I am astonished and delighted by the deep generousity of her spirit and her willingness to share. She has taught me so damn much.
(A bit more about the people who make my flist so wonderful in a bit, I'm kind of getting off track here).
Some Thoughts About My Writing - A 10 Question Meta. Or Maybe a Meme?
Part I - General Questions
1. What surprises you the most about writing fan fiction?
I never thought about writing fan fiction, but more relevant is that I never considered writing fiction. I mean, I wrote poetry in high school (who didn't), and I've been writing for my profession for more than twenty years. I also write and publish a quarterly collectors' magazine, but fiction? Fan fiction? I think I am surprised at how much darn fun it is. Seriously - even when I'm writing stories that, as my dear friend,
jrosemarysays, twist the knife in the reader's heart, I am really enjoying myself.
2. What is the best thing about writing fan fiction?
It's the people I've gotten to know that keeps me going. They are the best thing about writing fan ficition.
Okay, I know that sounds sappy. But it's true. Writing in fandom has given me the opportunity to get to know and make friends with really wonderful women. I can't remember a time that I haven't been part of an on-line community, but most of those have been dominated by men. That's not a bad thing, per se, but where there are men, there are trolls - or at least trollish behavior. There have certainly been a few isolated incidents - some anonymous flames, some indirect fandom wank, but as someone who was frequently the victim of drive by trolling on tech communities, this is such a wonderful change of pace.
I'm the first to admit that I'm not an easy person to like or get to know. But maybe it's being able to express myself through an intensely creative act that's made the interpersonal connections easier. Whatever it is, writing fan fiction makes me happy, because it makes me part of such a wonderfully creative and generous community. In fact, these past few months and weeks it's kept me going when the rest of my world has been falling apart.
3. What is the thing you want to improve the most about your writing during the next year?
I am reminded of something I wrote in my first LJ post - "
I'm not sure I'm cut out for writing fic...I do write [non fiction] and write well (if I may say so myself), but one of the things that makes my writing good is an intensive and obsessive attention to research and detail - and I just do not know if I can turn that off enough to write with the dramatic intensity I would want. "
Well, with 160 published stories in nine months, I guess the first part of that sentence is out the window.
But the concerns I expressed - about the obsessive need for detail and research - still bother me. When I re-read my stuff, I find I'm generally more pleased with my shorter stories, even my ficlets and drabbles, than I am with my longer works. The short stuff seems to have a greater emotional impact (e.g.,
Never Say Goodbye) than a lot of my longer works. I feel that happens because I get too bogged down in the details - matching up the story with the physical reality.
I want to try to paint my word pictures with a broader brush. The authors whose works I admire most seem to be able to do that, whether they are driving the narrative strickly through dialogue, or they let the reader fill in the blanks. I fear that I get so involved with the details that I lose my reader's interest. Is it really
that important to have the exact path El and Peter would take from the Grand Hall to the Dendur Pavillion? (
New York, New York - Public Sex II - In the Dendur Pavillion)
Part II - Specific Stories
4. What is the favorite story that you wrote this year?
This is hard...I have to say that I like a lot of my own stuff (*blushes*), but if I had to pick one favorite, it would have to be
Bolero. It's got so many of my favorite things in it. It's pure, unapologetic slash, it's a story built around music, it's got dirty talk, and dirty talk that creates backstory, and while it's porn, it's more about love and a powerful relationship than about sex.
5. What is the story you liked the least?
That's a hard one. I like to think that I've put my best into everything I've published, but there were certainly a few stinkers.
Days of Work, Days of Pleasure, Days of Grace was not a solid effort. It was written for a prompt given by someone (no longer on LJ) who had some very definite ideas about Peter, about Neal and their relationship - and she was pretty adament about not liking slash or OT3. I really had to shoehorn the story I wanted to tell into the prompt I was given.
A Dangerous Young God is also not particularly amongst my favorites. It feels way too contrived. I like elements of it, but something doesn't work.
6. What is the story you are proudest of?
I'd have to say the entire Preamble Redux series, and specifically the fifth story in that one -
Provide for the Common Defense. It still is the story I think I've taken the most risks with. It's first person POV from a minor (and woefully underused) character - Clinton Jones, it attempts to explain Neal's distate for guns, I've given voice to Reese Hughes, and hinted at Neal backstory. When I really get down on myself, this is the story I go to to pick myself up. I read it and it makes me think - yeah, you do know what you're doing! And what makes me even happier about it is that despite everything in S2, it still holds up against canon.
7. What was the hardest story to write?
Generally speaking, the hardcore porn that I've published has been the most difficult. I don't have any practical experience, and I'm not into some of the kinks that I've tried to write. Which is why a lot of my "porn" doesn't have a lot of actual copulation in it.
But putting aside that issue - from an emotional standpoint, probably
In Madness, Sanity was the most difficult. I've brutally killed off a canon character, and then drive another canon character insane, and I've tried to do it in a completely non-sensational way. When I finished that story, I almost felt like I couldn't write another thing.
8. Is there any story you'd like to rewrite?
I don't know if there is a story I'd like to rewrite, but there are a few I'd like to republish. I should have published
Privilege as a single work, not six chapters. That was just silliness - I didn't know what I was doing. And there are a few things that I'd change in it...if just to bring it into canon.
Also, I wish I'd never published the
Prologue to Vampire World, since it really boxed me into a story that I'm finding hard to finish.
Part III - Looking Forward
9. How will new canon change your writing?
I don't think new canon, particularly the
flashback episode, is going to change how I look at things. Yeah, that ep is going to joss my 'verses like the Loma Prieta earthquake, but hey...that's what the AU tag is for!
10. What are your writing goals for 2011?
I don't want to set anything specific, but I have a few resolutions:
a. Write the sequel to the WC/Criminal Minds crossover already. The damn thing's been plotted for months.
b. Finish Vampire World
c. Finish the three stuck WiPs
Summing Up
There's not much more I'd like to say about my writing, but I find myself overwhelmed with words for my flist.
Beyond the three most excellent people I mentioned above, I've got to talk about a few others who have made my 2010 a year to remember in a very positive way.
rabidchild67- Sometimes you just connect with someone through a single comment. I'm proud to call you friend.
jrosemary- You're my hero. And lately, you've been the keeper of my sanity. Thank you.
sonia6349- How can someone you
almost met become someone you now feel so close to?
usakeh- Yeah, you. Girl - you are important to me. Don't ever forget that.
elainasaunt- Next April, it's NYC. There's a picture of Tatt Debomer waiting to be autographed.
I am certain there are other people on my flist I probably should mention, but I love all of you. Really. You make my world, particularly when it has been difficult, a brighter and warmer place (
sniffles).
Yeah. I love you all.
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