elrhiarhodan

I was never a big fan of Elvis, but I am of rockin' cockatoos. This makes me grin from ear to ear. I don't know what I love more - the bird that's rocking out, or his partner, who gives him the feather equivalent of "talk to the hand because the face ain't listening".

Just whose lifetime, I'm not sure.

You may remember Sir Patrick as the inestimable Jean-Luc Picard in ST:TNG, or the unflappable Professor Charles Xavier from The X-Men, or even the regal and powerful King Leondegrance (Guenevere's father) in his first film role in Excalibur. Even as Sterling in Jeffrey and his voice-over roles (including Ted and The Simpsons), Sir Patrick is an actor who exudes dignity.

Until now. Sir Patrick will be starring in a new series, airing on the STARZ cable network, called Blunt Talk. He plays a serious news anchor who, well, has some ... issues.

Just watch:



The first time I watched this, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The second time, I laughed so hard I almost wet myself.

In a way, Sir Patrick's done a reverse of what Peter Capaldi's done. Only Sir Patrick's gone from a career highlighted by strong, dramatic, serious and yes, dignified roles, to something completely and utterly off the wall.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE REST OF THIS

Today, it's this vid - the Muppets covering that disco classic, "Jungle Boogie". And Sam the Eagle as their increasingly willing to get-down-get-funky front man.

According to The Mary Sue, a female-focused gaming and media culture blog, there's already a third Magic Mike movie in development.



Unfortunately, it's a joke, but it's a good one. Actually, the entry was from yesterday's edition of The Mary Sue's Favorite Comments of the Week:

After reading my review of Jupiter Ascending, LowPrices wants to know, “Serious question: Should I watch the first two Magic Mike films before going to see Magic Mike 3: Just Cocks Everywhere This Time, or will I be able to understand why there are just cocks everywhere if I dive right in, so to speak?”

Just wait until you read some of the purple prose put out by a New York Times best selling author (Wilbur Smith), a previous winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Literature (Michael Cunningham), this year's winner of the Man Booker Prize (Richard Flanagan), and a previous Man Booker winner (Ben Okri), all nominated for the annual Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction award, 2014 Edition.

However, most of these (except for the scene from Richard Flanagan's Man Booker prize winner, which had coitus interrupted by a big dog about to chomp down on a dying penguin) are tame in comparison to prior years' nominees.

Bibliodaze, a book and writing blog I follow, has compiled a list of the most truly awful "literary" sex scenes and I wanted to share the worst of them with you.

( Bad sex ahoy )

Courtesy of Bored Panda and Adam Ellis

HOW TO PET A CAT


HOW TO PET A DOG


HOW TO PET A UNICORN



For other instructions, check out How to Pet Animals in Illustrated Diagrams

My friend, V, sent this to me and after I nearly busted a gut laughing, I thought I'd share them with you

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. Oh, boy! I know just what THIS feels like.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

( More below )

But it's Friday evening, and ( I suggest a spit guard for your computer screen... )

Was relaxing in bed before starting my day, surfing with the remote and landed on the Food Network.  It was an episode of "Paula's Best Dishes".  I'm not really a fan of Paula Deen or her style of cooking, but it was just the right speed for my waking brain.  She has  her son Bobby on and they are making a balsamic glazed London broil, and she's rubbing the glaze into the steak with her fingers. 

Son comments, FTW:

"Don't Be Afraid to Touch Your Meat."

Yeah.  Seriously good advice.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

So, we're still here in Chicago, drunk as lords, drunk as bastards on prison sangria. We have consumed food, we have eaten chocolate. We are happy and silly and totally awesome...at least hoosierbitch , rabidchild67 and afiawri are. Me, I just am...not.

Anyway...we've read each other's fic...and it was glorious. We have no intention of sleeping tonight...or we may just pass out from joy. Some of us haven't even gotten out of our PJs...

AND WE DON'T CARE.

After eating, and still drinking, we did another round of madlibs (with hopes that someone really clever will do what lionessvalenti did for my madlib in the first round - see my new awesome userpic).

( Anyway...crazy, cracky, hysterical canon abuse follows...read at your own peril. )

This just killed me.  Don't really know why...but it did.

I highly, highly recommend XKCD, which bills itself as "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language."  It's populated by rather sexy stick figures (!) doing and saying very funny, smart things.  Sometimes the math is over my head, and I've occasionally had to Google some of the references to get the joke, but that's a very good thing.  Like a certain FBI agent, I like smart.

I thought this morning's comic was particularly worth sharing with my flist:

( Image Under The Cut - Porn for Women )