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elrhiarhodanTitle: The Chaos of Our Lives (When Tomorrow Comes) – Part Two of Two
“What?” Neal leaned over and touched his arm.
“I thought I knew everything about you,” Peter replied. Moz’s story had shaken him, left him feeling fragile and sad.
Neal gave him a searching look, sensing his mood. They’d talk about this later.
Peter lifted his glass and wanted to catch the attention of the entire table. He desperately wanted to change the mood. “Moz said that he and Neal go back the longest, but that’s not quite true.”
“Oh? You calling me a liar, Suit?”
“Certainly not, Moz – but Neal and I realized something this morning.”
Neal chuckled. “You’ll appreciate this one, Moz. I had gone to the park on Merry Lane, the one near the elementary school – remember that place?”
“Hell, yeah – I remember getting tormented on the whirly-gig.” Moz frowned into his glass, but perked up when El gave him a hug.
“I met Neal there.” Peter smiled at that.
Everyone gave him a confused look. Everyone but Neal, who was looking at him with love and wonder. “This morning and forty-three years ago.”
Neal picked up the story. “The plan had been for Peter to get here tonight. He’d been scheduled to testify at a jury trial, but the defendant took a plea and Peter drove up from the city this morning. I had mentioned that I was going to drive around the old neighborhood, and he found me at the playground.
“We were talking about the old times and when I sat down on a swing I had the oddest memory. I must have been five or six and I had gotten pushed off a swing by a big kid. And this other kid came and stood up for me – he made the other kid give the swing back. It was Peter.”
Peter added, “I threatened to tell everyone that he still wet the bed.”
Neal rested his chin on his palm and smiled. Peter felt himself drowning in that gaze.
Christie broke the spell before Peter embarrassed himself. “So, you’ve been friends all your lives, too?”
“Well, just about. Neal’s a year younger – he wasn’t in my class in elementary school, but our paths crossed all the time.”
“Peter actually fought for my honor,” Moz added with inebriated gravity.
“I don’t know if it was your honor, Moz.”
“Well, you stood up for me. And I’ve never forgotten that.”
Sara asked, “What happened?”
“It involved a game of dodge ball and a bully.” Peter filled everyone in on that fateful game, and how Phil the Pill had spiked Moz in the face.
“By the way, Phil’s here tonight.” Neal noted, before turning to Moz. “I’ve already gotten my revenge, so if you’re thinking of making any elaborate plans to torment him, don’t bother, he’s not worth the effort.”
Peter might have worried about the crafty look that appeared on Mozzie’s face, except that Moz wasn’t his problem. He was a friend and a free agent and if he wanted to make The Pill’s life miserable, there was nothing he or Neal could do to stop him.
Sara commented with awe. “It’s really amazing how you’ve all remained friends. I mean, it’s like something out of a novel – and not the kind you leave in the seat back pocket when your flight’s over. It kind of blows my mind that you two – ” Sara pointed at him and Neal, “were friends since elementary school, then fell in love and stayed in love. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything quite so romantic.”
Neal put a hand over his and squeezed it, and Peter couldn’t help himself. He lifted both their hands and gently kissed Neal’s, right over his wedding band. He also couldn’t help but smile when everyone at the table sighed.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Elizabeth wiped her eyes - she’d been laughing so hard at one of Mozzie’s stories from his Berkeley days that she’d started to cry. It must have been the alcohol, the good company, the softening of the borders between the past and the present that made her react so powerfully. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t heard this tale before – hell, she’d witnessed it.
And that brought another surge of emotion – not joy, but deep and inexplicable grief. She abruptly stood up, needing some air, some privacy before she completely embarrassed herself.
“I’ll be right back.” Not waiting for anyone to join her, El headed for the ladies room, but made an abrupt turn towards the hotel’s front entrance. She didn’t want to run into any of her former classmates, and fresh air was undoubtedly better than those overly-sanitized confines.
The late April evening was cool and it felt so good on her overheated skin. A few people were milling around the entrance and smoking. Some she recognized, but none she wanted to say hello to.
Restless and still feeling the need to escape, Elizabeth walked up the hotel’s driveway. She stood at the curb, watching the cars speed by. They were all going so fast, rushing to places unknown. She wondered if the occupants were happy with the choices they’d made.
She didn’t understand her mood. Her life was good, better than good. She had two brilliant and beautiful and healthy children. Her partner loved her more than life itself. She was a success in her own right, dependent on no one for anything. All of this made her abrupt sense of dissatisfaction so damn wrong.
Maybe it was menopause.
Elizabeth craned her neck up to look at the stars. There weren’t that many to see – all but the very brightest were obscured by the city lights.
She remembered another night, thirty years ago. A night not in April, but in June …
The Swan Hotel, Brookville Falls, June, 1983
El hummed along with the lyrics to that crazy song. The words made no sense, but she liked the rhythm and the way the music made her feel – a little edgy, a little non-conformist. Which was kind of ironic, since the theme of the Class of ‘83’s prom was “Sweet Dreams”.
Moz handed her a glass of Diet Coke. She took a sip and grimaced. It wasn’t diet, it was warm and it was flat. But she didn’t say anything to her date other than thank you.
She liked Moz. He was a good friend, he made her laugh and he looked at her like no one else in the world mattered but her. Peter, with whom she’d gone steady for almost two years, never looked at her like that. Not even the morning after.
She didn’t regret giving her virginity to Peter, not even after everything. In a way, it kind of made her proud that she was probably the only woman Peter would ever have sex with. She knew she should have been disgusted that Peter was gay, but it didn’t seem to matter to her. A few weeks ago, when Peter told her, it was like everything just sort of clicked. She couldn’t ever explain it, but it never felt like she ever had his full attention – even during those months when he and Neal weren’t friends.
It now made sense. He’d been afraid to tell Neal what he felt. He was afraid of rejection, afraid of exposure, afraid that he’d lose the best friend he had. Had Peter told her what was going through his mind, she might have told him that Neal wouldn’t reject him like that, and he’d certainly never tell anyone.
But Peter had been a stupidly self-sacrificing idiot about that. He had cut the cord himself and hurt both of them and they’d all sort of suffered because of it.
El sighed and caught Mozzie’s attention. He gave her that smile that made her stomach quiver like it was full of butterflies.
He asked “Wanna book?”
She found a place to put that horrible glass of Coke and held out her arm. Moz, with studied gallantry, took it. They made their way around the edge of the dance floor, where their classmates were now making idiots of themselves as they tried to moonwalk to Billie Jean.
Of course they had plans. Everybody had after-Prom party plans. Most of their classmates were heading to the beaches in Rye to hang out, and then breakfast at one of the local diners that ran a Prom Morning special. But they weren’t going to do that – she and Moz had promised to get together with Peter and Neal and Diana and celebrate privately.
“How about I drop you off at Diana’s, and then swing by to get Peter and Neal? We can all head out to the Playland?”
“Sounds good. Diana could use a little cheering up.” She was so pissed on her friend’s behalf. She’d come out a few months ago and while the kids at school pretty much ignored her and the teachers treated her with forced courtesy, the school board had sent Diana’s mother a letter telling her that under no circumstances was Diana to attend the prom with – or without – her “girlfriend”.
El had known that her best friend was gay since tenth grade. Almost as long as Diana knew herself and it had never seemed to affect their friendship. Diana had made it clear that while she thought El was pretty – actually kind of hot was what she’d told her – she wasn’t her type. It had been a little confusing at first. She’d been both miffed that Diana didn’t want to date her and, at the same time, relieved. El liked boys. She liked Peter, she liked Gordon, and of course, she liked Mozzie, though Peter was the only one she’d gone all the way with.
When she’d told Diana about it, Diana had been a little disgusted. Okay, a lot disgusted – but that was just fine. Diana told her about the first time she’d gone down on her girlfriend and El thought that was a little weird, too.
Diana’s girlfriend, Valerie, had moved back to France just a few weeks ago, and Diana was terribly lonely.
“We’re here. Do you want me to come in with you?” Moz had pulled up to the curb in front of the Berrigan house.
“No, I’ll be fine. Go get Peter and Neal and then we’ll party.” Elizabeth opened the door of Moz’s little red Peugeot, then leaned over and kissed her date. “Hurry back, okay?”
Moz grinned and his glasses glowed in the reflection from the streetlights. He looked a little like some crazy-sexy alien and she was tempted to tell him to forget about Diana, about Peter and about Neal and just drive off with her to someplace special. Just the two of them.
But she didn’t. She got out of the car and went around to the back of the Berrigan house, where Diana was probably doing laps. Her friend had been captain of the swim team and had led them to the state championship earlier that year. She was as much at home in the water as she was on dry land and El liked to tease her that she should be part mermaid.
Diana had laughed, but said she was glad she wasn’t, since she liked what was between her legs far too much. El just blushed and dropped the subject.
As she expected, Di was swimming laps – cutting through the water like a shark, silent and sleek in her racing suit. El sat down on one of the loungers with total disregard for her sky blue satin and tulle prom dress. She hummed the theme from Jaws as she watched her friend go back and forth and back and forth, barely making a sound. The early summer insects were louder than her.
Diana finally came up for air and El went over to the edge of the pool, picking up a towel along the way. “Didn’t think you were ever going to stop.”
Diana looked up and pulled off her swim goggles. Her smile was as bright as the moon. “When did you get here?”
“About fifty laps ago. Moz went to get Peter and Neal - we’re all going to Playland, remember?”
Diana hauled herself out of the pool and took the towel from her. She peeled back her swim cap and masses of dark, curly hair burst free. “Yeah.” Di made a face.
“What, don’t you want to come with us?”
“I guess so. It’s just, well, you know …”
Elizabeth nodded. She did know. They headed back towards the lounge chairs.
“So - how was it?” Diana plopped down, sprinkling droplets over El’s bare arms.
“The prom? Kind of stupid, really. Everyone was making idiots out of themselves. Half the people arrived wasted, the other half were well on their way to getting there when we left.”
“I figured that - I mean, how was it going to the prom with Mozzie?”
“Okay, I guess.” El shrugged, she didn’t really feel like talking about him to Diana. But it also felt wrong to just dismiss him like that. “It was good, actually. I mean, we’ve known each other forever. I like him.” A lot, I think.
“You’ve known Peter forever, too.”
“Yeah, well - that’s not happening anymore.” With their permission, El had told Diana about Peter and Neal. Diana had been surprisingly outraged on her behalf. She still was.
“You let him off too easily. You should have made him take you to the prom, you know.”
“What’s the point? So three of us would be miserable?” El kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet under her dress. “I’m surprised at you, Di. I thought you’d be sympathetic.”
Diana got a militant look in her eye. “I’d be more sympathetic if Peter hadn’t hurt my best friend. If he hadn’t lied to her for almost two years. Going steady with you when he was in love with someone else. And hiding it.”
El sighed. They’d had this argument a dozen times since May. “Not everyone is as lucky as you. It’s different for guys - you know that.”
It was Diana’s turn to shrug. “Still. Peter lied to you.”
“Look - like I told Peter, it wasn’t as if we were going to get married or anything. I’m heading to California, he’s going to Harvard. Do you really think we were going to remain boyfriend and girlfriend?” El gave Diana a wry grin.
“You’re too pragmatic, Elizabeth Mitchell.”
They sat there, under the rising moon, and El was hit by a deep sense of melancholy. There was going to be a continent between her and Peter, but she and Di were going to be separated not only by that continent, but an ocean, too. “Are we going to stay best friends? Or are we going to just drift apart?”
Diana’s face was grave, echoing her own fears. “I hope not. There’s no one I trust more than you, El. It’s going to be so hard not talking to you every day. Not telling you everything.”
El leaned over and rested her head on Di’s arm. Against her cheek, her friend’s skin was cool and soft. It smelled a little like chlorine and a little like her favorite Jean Nate body wash. She looked up at Diana and smiled. Diana smiled back and suddenly her face was a lot closer.
Elizabeth held her breath. She could have moved, it wouldn’t have been that hard to just pick her head up off of Diana’s arm, to sit up and continue the conversation, but she didn’t. She knew what was coming and it felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest.
Diana kissed her. Her lips were smooth and soft and very gentle, just a brush of damp skin against hers. El froze - she didn’t really know what to do. She wanted to push Di away and she also wanted to kiss her back.
Diana made the decision for her, kissing her again. Still so gentle, nothing like the way any of her boyfriends ever did. Elizabeth felt herself kissing her best friend back, reaching up to run her fingers through Di’s curls, opening her mouth just a little. She shuddered and maybe even moaned when Di’s tongue touched hers, like a secret.
“There are three things you should never try to do when you’re driving a stick shift …” Mozzie called out as he burst through the gate. “And one of them is eat ice cream out of a waffle cone.”
Elizabeth jumped up from the lounger and forced herself not to wipe at her lips. Diana stood up too, wrapping herself in the forgotten towel.
Moz stopped, blinked, and looked from her to Diana and back to her again. El could see the question in his eyes. She said, with forced brightness, “So - are we going to Playland or what? Did you get Peter and Neal?”
Moz nodded slowly. “Yeah, they’re waiting in the car.” He turned to Diana, which was a good thing, because El couldn’t seem to meet her friend’s eyes. “You coming?”
Di shook her head and hunched around herself. “No - I don’t think so. I - I - I’m waiting for a phone call from Valerie - she promised that she’d call me tonight. I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to talk to her.”
El knew that was a lie. Di had been in tears when she told her about breaking up with her girlfriend. Valerie had said that since she was going home and would be entering the very prestigious École Polytechnique, there was no point in writing or talking to each other anymore. She was moving on with her life - a life had no room for Diana Berrigan in it. El hadn’t shared that with anyone, but she could tell that Moz knew it was a lie, too.
Still, she had to make an effort. “You sure?”
Diana just nodded and wrapped the towel even tighter around herself before turning and heading towards the house.
“Okay. I’ll call you - tomorrow. Or later. Or …” El’s voice just trailed off. She watched her best friend disappear into the darkness and felt completely lost.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Diana couldn’t help but be conscious of Elizabeth seated on the other side of her wife. It was amazing how little her former best friend had changed. Years had added maturity, but taken away none of the loveliness she remembered. She wondered how much she’d changed in Ellie’s eyes.
The conversation swirled around her as everyone swapped stories about their childhood. Diana was content to let other people talk, contributing only when asked a direct question.
Mozzie was telling a story from his college years - about an experiment with the aphrodisiacal properties of powdered honey bee pollen - and the hilarious results when a bunch of boneheaded freshmen snorted it, thinking it was cocaine. Everyone at the table was in stitches, especially El, who was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face.
Christie noticed her abstraction and touched her hand before leaning over, “You okay?”
Di smiled, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Worry clouded Christie’s dark eyes, chasing away the humor that had lit them just a few moments ago. “Are you sure?”
She kissed Christie’s cheek, an unusually public display of affection. “I am. Please don’t worry.”
Her wife wasn’t letting the matter drop, though. She gently asked, “We’ll talk about it later?”
Diana sighed, smiled again and nodded.
At some point during this conversation, Elizabeth had left the table. Diana fought the urge to get up and follow her. Her self-control lasted all of five minutes. She excused herself, and when Christie got up to join her, she gave her a minute shake of the head.
Her gut told her that El hadn’t headed to the ladies room, but outside. Her gut was right.
When she exited the lobby and looked past the lighted portico at the front of the hotel, she saw Elizabeth lingering by the fountain. Diana took a deep breath and swallowed hard against the butterflies in her stomach. She’d faced down armed rebels in Africa, negotiated with drug lords in Thailand, hell - she’d testified before Congress. Being this nervous about talking with her former best friend was absolutely ridiculous.
She strode across the lawn, not stopping until she was standing next to El. The other woman looked at her, then went back to her stargazing, saying nothing.
It was going to be up to Diana to break the silence. Except that the words that had been on the tip of her tongue for thirty years refused to be spoken.
The silence stretched painfully thin and Diana cursed her cowardice. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air, but the words still didn’t come.
Finally, Elizabeth spoke. “For three decades, I’ve never stopped wondering what I did wrong. What did I do that made you cut me completely out of your life?”
Diana let out a shuddering sigh. She should have figured that this confrontation would be inevitable. And with that, the words finally came. Three decades too late. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be. We were best friends.”
“I kissed you.”
“And so?”
“So - that’s all you can say? So?”
“Yeah - you kissed me. I kissed you back, big deal.”
“And then you went off with Mozzie, like nothing happened.”
“That’s not the way I remember it. You made some excuse about waiting for a call from your ex-girlfriend, the one who’d dumped you a few weeks before. You left me standing there, or don’t you remember?”
Diana did, with perfect clarity. She remembered her arousal, her shame, her fear of being rejected. She remembered walking away and leaving El, so pretty in her sky blue prom dress, standing in the moonlight, looking so lost. And of course she remembered Mozzie, standing a few feet behind El, his anger and insecurity so plain despite the late-night shadows. “The kiss meant nothing to you.”
“That may be, but our friendship meant everything. And you just threw it away.” Elizabeth’s words were like knives. “You know, Peter did the same thing to Neal, back in our senior year. He thought he was being noble and for six months those two suffered and suffered and suffered. I could actually understand why he did what he did - but you? I don’t understand - and I don’t think I ever will.” Elizabeth turned and started walking back to the hotel.
Diana knew that this was her one shot to make things right. She reached out and grabbed El’s arm. “I loved you and I was scared, okay? You were my best friend and I loved you and I thought I ruined everything when I kissed you. I didn’t want you to –” The words just stopped. She couldn’t say it.
“You didn’t want me to what?” There was no trace of anger in El’s question. “Laugh at you? Reject you?”
Diana nodded. She bit her lip, feeling like she was seventeen years-old again, shy and insecure and waiting for her life to begin.
“Honestly, Di - I don’t know what would have happened if Mozzie hadn’t interrupted us. I don’t know what I would have said, what I would have done. I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have rejected you - or at least, I wouldn’t have been mean or cruel. We were best friends, and I can’t deny that I was always a little curious. But nothing mattered more than our friendship, and I’ve never stopped regretting that. Some people – no, make that most people – leave their high school friends behind. I guess, because Moz and I are permanent, because we’ve retained such close ties with Peter and Neal, that I never stopped wishing that we had that, too.”
“I do, too.” Something worked loose, freeing her. Maybe confession was good for the soul. “I missed you. For years, I would see something or do something and think, ‘El would get such a kick out of that.’ But you weren’t there and that was my fault.” Diana tried not to sob, but failed miserably. She wiped away the tears, sniffling and wishing that she’d at least worn something with sleeves.
“Hey, hey…” El’s arms were wrapped around her, hugging her tightly. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
And just like that, it was. She clung to El for a moment, finally finding the peace that had eluded her all evening.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Neal couldn’t help but wonder if El and Diana were patching things up. Way back when, Moz had confided to him that he thought he saw Diana and El making out that night after prom, and the two girls who’d once been so close, seemed like strangers. Diana barely talked to any of them at graduation and she had left for an unplanned trip to Europe a few days later.
El had refused to talk about Diana and Neal let the matter drop. He’d been so self-involved - or rather - so totally involved with Peter that he’d barely noticed anything else going on. Ah, the joys of being a teenager.
Adult Neal felt a bad for Christie, who now seemed a little lost. She was the only outsider at the table. He moved over to Diana’s seat and gave her his brightest smile. “It’s probably a little weird for you, hanging out with a bunch of strangers.”
Christie shrugged. “I don’t mind.” She still sounded a little down, though.
“I don’t know if I’d have the internal fortitude to sit through such a tedious evening with people intent on reliving their high school glory days.”
That earned him a laugh. “I think if I didn’t know you and Peter, I might have sent Di off on her own. Volunteered to cover an extra shift or three. But I’m having fun. Just a little worried about Di. She’s been a little, well, off kilter all evening.” Christie gave him a quizzical look, as if she though he knew what was going on.
Neal debated, but in the end he answered honestly. “Diana and El had been best friends in high school but had a falling out just before graduation - I think maybe that’s what’s going on. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other in thirty years.”
Christie’s smile brightened. “Maybe they’re trying to patch things up.”
“I hope so. It would be nice if we were all friends again.”
“I still can’t get over how you and Peter have been together since high school. That’s …” She shook her head.
“A little bizarre for two gay men?” He’d heard it before.
Christie shrugged. “Yeah, really. It is.”
“What can I say - true love runs true. What Peter and I have –” Neal looked across the table at his husband, who was deep in conversation with Sara. Peter looked up, caught his eye and gave him a very private smile. “What we have together is special, priceless, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by for thirty years that I haven’t been awed by the blessings of our life together. We have friends who love to mock us, who try to convince us that we missed out on so much, but they don’t understand.”
Neal was a bit overwhelmed by the emotion. He shook himself and gave Christie what he hoped was a bright grin. The way she smiled back told him how much she understood.
And maybe she did.
Diana and Elizabeth were back, and Neal was pleased to see them walking together, both looking almost as good as they did back in the day. He got up and surrendered the seat to Diana. She looked from him to Christie and back, and there was unspoken gratitude in her eyes. Neal was about to sit back down when the DJ took over from the class president, who’d been droning on and on about the many accomplishments of the Class of ’83. The man promised only to spin the best of that year, and true to his word, he started out with Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.”
He stood there and tried not to laugh as a bunch of middle-aged men and women crowded onto the hotel room dance floor and tried to moonwalk. He wondered if they played this song at the prom.
“Wanna dance?” Peter joined him, hands in his pockets, looking relaxed and happy.
Neal laughed, “Maybe if they play something we can actually dance to.”
“Let me see if I can do something about that.”
Neal watched as Peter skirted around the dance floor, making his way towards the disc jockey’s setup. The song changed to another greatest hit of 1983, something even less danceable, Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science.”
He lost track of what Peter was doing when his former classmates switched from attempted moonwalking to something that resembled The Robot, and Neal covered his mouth to hide his laughter.
“They are rather ridiculous, aren’t they?” Suddenly, Peter was back by his side.
“Yeah, but they’re having fun. Who are we to judge?”
Peter didn’t answer. He just stood there, smiling like he knew a secret.
Someone who knew him called out “Hey, Neal,” but she kept on going. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it might have been Taryn Vandersant, one of the many girls he’d slept with in his senior year.
A man with bad acne scars stumbled against Peter and cursed with drunken profundity. Peter helped him get his footing and moved him on without saying a word.
“I think that was Garrett Fowler. Wanna go ask him if he still wets the bed?”
Peter let out a shout of laughter, all the louder as it came as Thomas Dolby finished proclaiming for the very last time that he was blinded by science.
The music radically changed - from bizarre New Wave to the utterly romantic tones of an electronic organ. The dance floor seemed to empty as no one was interested in dancing to this song. But Neal’s heart skipped a beat as Peter turned to him and held out a hand.
“You said you wanted to slow dance with me.”
Neal took that hand and they walked with studied casualness onto the parquet, under the slowly spinning stars.
In all their years together, they’d done many brave things. They’d stood up to bigotry, they’d faced the possibility of terrible illness and death, they’d argued and torn themselves apart and come back together, stronger than before. But the one thing they never did was dance like this.
The moment was a little awkward. Neither of them was accustomed to dancing and they shuffled a bit until Neal let Peter take the lead. But the music was beautiful - the lyrics perfect as Roberta Flack sang about how friends would turn into lovers.
Neal rested his head on Peter’s shoulder and relished the feel of his husband’s arms around him. From the edge of the dance floor, the light from a dozen flashes sparked and he saw stars. They kept dancing, probably a very ungraceful shuffle, but that wasn’t what mattered.
The song ended and the room was silent. In that perfect moment of stillness, Peter murmured in his ear, “I love you.”
FIN
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“What?” Neal leaned over and touched his arm.
“I thought I knew everything about you,” Peter replied. Moz’s story had shaken him, left him feeling fragile and sad.
Neal gave him a searching look, sensing his mood. They’d talk about this later.
Peter lifted his glass and wanted to catch the attention of the entire table. He desperately wanted to change the mood. “Moz said that he and Neal go back the longest, but that’s not quite true.”
“Oh? You calling me a liar, Suit?”
“Certainly not, Moz – but Neal and I realized something this morning.”
Neal chuckled. “You’ll appreciate this one, Moz. I had gone to the park on Merry Lane, the one near the elementary school – remember that place?”
“Hell, yeah – I remember getting tormented on the whirly-gig.” Moz frowned into his glass, but perked up when El gave him a hug.
“I met Neal there.” Peter smiled at that.
Everyone gave him a confused look. Everyone but Neal, who was looking at him with love and wonder. “This morning and forty-three years ago.”
Neal picked up the story. “The plan had been for Peter to get here tonight. He’d been scheduled to testify at a jury trial, but the defendant took a plea and Peter drove up from the city this morning. I had mentioned that I was going to drive around the old neighborhood, and he found me at the playground.
“We were talking about the old times and when I sat down on a swing I had the oddest memory. I must have been five or six and I had gotten pushed off a swing by a big kid. And this other kid came and stood up for me – he made the other kid give the swing back. It was Peter.”
Peter added, “I threatened to tell everyone that he still wet the bed.”
Neal rested his chin on his palm and smiled. Peter felt himself drowning in that gaze.
Christie broke the spell before Peter embarrassed himself. “So, you’ve been friends all your lives, too?”
“Well, just about. Neal’s a year younger – he wasn’t in my class in elementary school, but our paths crossed all the time.”
“Peter actually fought for my honor,” Moz added with inebriated gravity.
“I don’t know if it was your honor, Moz.”
“Well, you stood up for me. And I’ve never forgotten that.”
Sara asked, “What happened?”
“It involved a game of dodge ball and a bully.” Peter filled everyone in on that fateful game, and how Phil the Pill had spiked Moz in the face.
“By the way, Phil’s here tonight.” Neal noted, before turning to Moz. “I’ve already gotten my revenge, so if you’re thinking of making any elaborate plans to torment him, don’t bother, he’s not worth the effort.”
Peter might have worried about the crafty look that appeared on Mozzie’s face, except that Moz wasn’t his problem. He was a friend and a free agent and if he wanted to make The Pill’s life miserable, there was nothing he or Neal could do to stop him.
Sara commented with awe. “It’s really amazing how you’ve all remained friends. I mean, it’s like something out of a novel – and not the kind you leave in the seat back pocket when your flight’s over. It kind of blows my mind that you two – ” Sara pointed at him and Neal, “were friends since elementary school, then fell in love and stayed in love. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything quite so romantic.”
Neal put a hand over his and squeezed it, and Peter couldn’t help himself. He lifted both their hands and gently kissed Neal’s, right over his wedding band. He also couldn’t help but smile when everyone at the table sighed.
Elizabeth wiped her eyes - she’d been laughing so hard at one of Mozzie’s stories from his Berkeley days that she’d started to cry. It must have been the alcohol, the good company, the softening of the borders between the past and the present that made her react so powerfully. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t heard this tale before – hell, she’d witnessed it.
And that brought another surge of emotion – not joy, but deep and inexplicable grief. She abruptly stood up, needing some air, some privacy before she completely embarrassed herself.
“I’ll be right back.” Not waiting for anyone to join her, El headed for the ladies room, but made an abrupt turn towards the hotel’s front entrance. She didn’t want to run into any of her former classmates, and fresh air was undoubtedly better than those overly-sanitized confines.
The late April evening was cool and it felt so good on her overheated skin. A few people were milling around the entrance and smoking. Some she recognized, but none she wanted to say hello to.
Restless and still feeling the need to escape, Elizabeth walked up the hotel’s driveway. She stood at the curb, watching the cars speed by. They were all going so fast, rushing to places unknown. She wondered if the occupants were happy with the choices they’d made.
She didn’t understand her mood. Her life was good, better than good. She had two brilliant and beautiful and healthy children. Her partner loved her more than life itself. She was a success in her own right, dependent on no one for anything. All of this made her abrupt sense of dissatisfaction so damn wrong.
Maybe it was menopause.
Elizabeth craned her neck up to look at the stars. There weren’t that many to see – all but the very brightest were obscured by the city lights.
She remembered another night, thirty years ago. A night not in April, but in June …
The Swan Hotel, Brookville Falls, June, 1983
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something
El hummed along with the lyrics to that crazy song. The words made no sense, but she liked the rhythm and the way the music made her feel – a little edgy, a little non-conformist. Which was kind of ironic, since the theme of the Class of ‘83’s prom was “Sweet Dreams”.
Moz handed her a glass of Diet Coke. She took a sip and grimaced. It wasn’t diet, it was warm and it was flat. But she didn’t say anything to her date other than thank you.
She liked Moz. He was a good friend, he made her laugh and he looked at her like no one else in the world mattered but her. Peter, with whom she’d gone steady for almost two years, never looked at her like that. Not even the morning after.
She didn’t regret giving her virginity to Peter, not even after everything. In a way, it kind of made her proud that she was probably the only woman Peter would ever have sex with. She knew she should have been disgusted that Peter was gay, but it didn’t seem to matter to her. A few weeks ago, when Peter told her, it was like everything just sort of clicked. She couldn’t ever explain it, but it never felt like she ever had his full attention – even during those months when he and Neal weren’t friends.
It now made sense. He’d been afraid to tell Neal what he felt. He was afraid of rejection, afraid of exposure, afraid that he’d lose the best friend he had. Had Peter told her what was going through his mind, she might have told him that Neal wouldn’t reject him like that, and he’d certainly never tell anyone.
But Peter had been a stupidly self-sacrificing idiot about that. He had cut the cord himself and hurt both of them and they’d all sort of suffered because of it.
El sighed and caught Mozzie’s attention. He gave her that smile that made her stomach quiver like it was full of butterflies.
He asked “Wanna book?”
She found a place to put that horrible glass of Coke and held out her arm. Moz, with studied gallantry, took it. They made their way around the edge of the dance floor, where their classmates were now making idiots of themselves as they tried to moonwalk to Billie Jean.
Of course they had plans. Everybody had after-Prom party plans. Most of their classmates were heading to the beaches in Rye to hang out, and then breakfast at one of the local diners that ran a Prom Morning special. But they weren’t going to do that – she and Moz had promised to get together with Peter and Neal and Diana and celebrate privately.
“How about I drop you off at Diana’s, and then swing by to get Peter and Neal? We can all head out to the Playland?”
“Sounds good. Diana could use a little cheering up.” She was so pissed on her friend’s behalf. She’d come out a few months ago and while the kids at school pretty much ignored her and the teachers treated her with forced courtesy, the school board had sent Diana’s mother a letter telling her that under no circumstances was Diana to attend the prom with – or without – her “girlfriend”.
El had known that her best friend was gay since tenth grade. Almost as long as Diana knew herself and it had never seemed to affect their friendship. Diana had made it clear that while she thought El was pretty – actually kind of hot was what she’d told her – she wasn’t her type. It had been a little confusing at first. She’d been both miffed that Diana didn’t want to date her and, at the same time, relieved. El liked boys. She liked Peter, she liked Gordon, and of course, she liked Mozzie, though Peter was the only one she’d gone all the way with.
When she’d told Diana about it, Diana had been a little disgusted. Okay, a lot disgusted – but that was just fine. Diana told her about the first time she’d gone down on her girlfriend and El thought that was a little weird, too.
Diana’s girlfriend, Valerie, had moved back to France just a few weeks ago, and Diana was terribly lonely.
“We’re here. Do you want me to come in with you?” Moz had pulled up to the curb in front of the Berrigan house.
“No, I’ll be fine. Go get Peter and Neal and then we’ll party.” Elizabeth opened the door of Moz’s little red Peugeot, then leaned over and kissed her date. “Hurry back, okay?”
Moz grinned and his glasses glowed in the reflection from the streetlights. He looked a little like some crazy-sexy alien and she was tempted to tell him to forget about Diana, about Peter and about Neal and just drive off with her to someplace special. Just the two of them.
But she didn’t. She got out of the car and went around to the back of the Berrigan house, where Diana was probably doing laps. Her friend had been captain of the swim team and had led them to the state championship earlier that year. She was as much at home in the water as she was on dry land and El liked to tease her that she should be part mermaid.
Diana had laughed, but said she was glad she wasn’t, since she liked what was between her legs far too much. El just blushed and dropped the subject.
As she expected, Di was swimming laps – cutting through the water like a shark, silent and sleek in her racing suit. El sat down on one of the loungers with total disregard for her sky blue satin and tulle prom dress. She hummed the theme from Jaws as she watched her friend go back and forth and back and forth, barely making a sound. The early summer insects were louder than her.
Diana finally came up for air and El went over to the edge of the pool, picking up a towel along the way. “Didn’t think you were ever going to stop.”
Diana looked up and pulled off her swim goggles. Her smile was as bright as the moon. “When did you get here?”
“About fifty laps ago. Moz went to get Peter and Neal - we’re all going to Playland, remember?”
Diana hauled herself out of the pool and took the towel from her. She peeled back her swim cap and masses of dark, curly hair burst free. “Yeah.” Di made a face.
“What, don’t you want to come with us?”
“I guess so. It’s just, well, you know …”
Elizabeth nodded. She did know. They headed back towards the lounge chairs.
“So - how was it?” Diana plopped down, sprinkling droplets over El’s bare arms.
“The prom? Kind of stupid, really. Everyone was making idiots out of themselves. Half the people arrived wasted, the other half were well on their way to getting there when we left.”
“I figured that - I mean, how was it going to the prom with Mozzie?”
“Okay, I guess.” El shrugged, she didn’t really feel like talking about him to Diana. But it also felt wrong to just dismiss him like that. “It was good, actually. I mean, we’ve known each other forever. I like him.” A lot, I think.
“You’ve known Peter forever, too.”
“Yeah, well - that’s not happening anymore.” With their permission, El had told Diana about Peter and Neal. Diana had been surprisingly outraged on her behalf. She still was.
“You let him off too easily. You should have made him take you to the prom, you know.”
“What’s the point? So three of us would be miserable?” El kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet under her dress. “I’m surprised at you, Di. I thought you’d be sympathetic.”
Diana got a militant look in her eye. “I’d be more sympathetic if Peter hadn’t hurt my best friend. If he hadn’t lied to her for almost two years. Going steady with you when he was in love with someone else. And hiding it.”
El sighed. They’d had this argument a dozen times since May. “Not everyone is as lucky as you. It’s different for guys - you know that.”
It was Diana’s turn to shrug. “Still. Peter lied to you.”
“Look - like I told Peter, it wasn’t as if we were going to get married or anything. I’m heading to California, he’s going to Harvard. Do you really think we were going to remain boyfriend and girlfriend?” El gave Diana a wry grin.
“You’re too pragmatic, Elizabeth Mitchell.”
They sat there, under the rising moon, and El was hit by a deep sense of melancholy. There was going to be a continent between her and Peter, but she and Di were going to be separated not only by that continent, but an ocean, too. “Are we going to stay best friends? Or are we going to just drift apart?”
Diana’s face was grave, echoing her own fears. “I hope not. There’s no one I trust more than you, El. It’s going to be so hard not talking to you every day. Not telling you everything.”
El leaned over and rested her head on Di’s arm. Against her cheek, her friend’s skin was cool and soft. It smelled a little like chlorine and a little like her favorite Jean Nate body wash. She looked up at Diana and smiled. Diana smiled back and suddenly her face was a lot closer.
Elizabeth held her breath. She could have moved, it wouldn’t have been that hard to just pick her head up off of Diana’s arm, to sit up and continue the conversation, but she didn’t. She knew what was coming and it felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest.
Diana kissed her. Her lips were smooth and soft and very gentle, just a brush of damp skin against hers. El froze - she didn’t really know what to do. She wanted to push Di away and she also wanted to kiss her back.
Diana made the decision for her, kissing her again. Still so gentle, nothing like the way any of her boyfriends ever did. Elizabeth felt herself kissing her best friend back, reaching up to run her fingers through Di’s curls, opening her mouth just a little. She shuddered and maybe even moaned when Di’s tongue touched hers, like a secret.
“There are three things you should never try to do when you’re driving a stick shift …” Mozzie called out as he burst through the gate. “And one of them is eat ice cream out of a waffle cone.”
Elizabeth jumped up from the lounger and forced herself not to wipe at her lips. Diana stood up too, wrapping herself in the forgotten towel.
Moz stopped, blinked, and looked from her to Diana and back to her again. El could see the question in his eyes. She said, with forced brightness, “So - are we going to Playland or what? Did you get Peter and Neal?”
Moz nodded slowly. “Yeah, they’re waiting in the car.” He turned to Diana, which was a good thing, because El couldn’t seem to meet her friend’s eyes. “You coming?”
Di shook her head and hunched around herself. “No - I don’t think so. I - I - I’m waiting for a phone call from Valerie - she promised that she’d call me tonight. I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to talk to her.”
El knew that was a lie. Di had been in tears when she told her about breaking up with her girlfriend. Valerie had said that since she was going home and would be entering the very prestigious École Polytechnique, there was no point in writing or talking to each other anymore. She was moving on with her life - a life had no room for Diana Berrigan in it. El hadn’t shared that with anyone, but she could tell that Moz knew it was a lie, too.
Still, she had to make an effort. “You sure?”
Diana just nodded and wrapped the towel even tighter around herself before turning and heading towards the house.
“Okay. I’ll call you - tomorrow. Or later. Or …” El’s voice just trailed off. She watched her best friend disappear into the darkness and felt completely lost.
Diana couldn’t help but be conscious of Elizabeth seated on the other side of her wife. It was amazing how little her former best friend had changed. Years had added maturity, but taken away none of the loveliness she remembered. She wondered how much she’d changed in Ellie’s eyes.
The conversation swirled around her as everyone swapped stories about their childhood. Diana was content to let other people talk, contributing only when asked a direct question.
Mozzie was telling a story from his college years - about an experiment with the aphrodisiacal properties of powdered honey bee pollen - and the hilarious results when a bunch of boneheaded freshmen snorted it, thinking it was cocaine. Everyone at the table was in stitches, especially El, who was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face.
Christie noticed her abstraction and touched her hand before leaning over, “You okay?”
Di smiled, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Worry clouded Christie’s dark eyes, chasing away the humor that had lit them just a few moments ago. “Are you sure?”
She kissed Christie’s cheek, an unusually public display of affection. “I am. Please don’t worry.”
Her wife wasn’t letting the matter drop, though. She gently asked, “We’ll talk about it later?”
Diana sighed, smiled again and nodded.
At some point during this conversation, Elizabeth had left the table. Diana fought the urge to get up and follow her. Her self-control lasted all of five minutes. She excused herself, and when Christie got up to join her, she gave her a minute shake of the head.
Her gut told her that El hadn’t headed to the ladies room, but outside. Her gut was right.
When she exited the lobby and looked past the lighted portico at the front of the hotel, she saw Elizabeth lingering by the fountain. Diana took a deep breath and swallowed hard against the butterflies in her stomach. She’d faced down armed rebels in Africa, negotiated with drug lords in Thailand, hell - she’d testified before Congress. Being this nervous about talking with her former best friend was absolutely ridiculous.
She strode across the lawn, not stopping until she was standing next to El. The other woman looked at her, then went back to her stargazing, saying nothing.
It was going to be up to Diana to break the silence. Except that the words that had been on the tip of her tongue for thirty years refused to be spoken.
The silence stretched painfully thin and Diana cursed her cowardice. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air, but the words still didn’t come.
Finally, Elizabeth spoke. “For three decades, I’ve never stopped wondering what I did wrong. What did I do that made you cut me completely out of your life?”
Diana let out a shuddering sigh. She should have figured that this confrontation would be inevitable. And with that, the words finally came. Three decades too late. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be. We were best friends.”
“I kissed you.”
“And so?”
“So - that’s all you can say? So?”
“Yeah - you kissed me. I kissed you back, big deal.”
“And then you went off with Mozzie, like nothing happened.”
“That’s not the way I remember it. You made some excuse about waiting for a call from your ex-girlfriend, the one who’d dumped you a few weeks before. You left me standing there, or don’t you remember?”
Diana did, with perfect clarity. She remembered her arousal, her shame, her fear of being rejected. She remembered walking away and leaving El, so pretty in her sky blue prom dress, standing in the moonlight, looking so lost. And of course she remembered Mozzie, standing a few feet behind El, his anger and insecurity so plain despite the late-night shadows. “The kiss meant nothing to you.”
“That may be, but our friendship meant everything. And you just threw it away.” Elizabeth’s words were like knives. “You know, Peter did the same thing to Neal, back in our senior year. He thought he was being noble and for six months those two suffered and suffered and suffered. I could actually understand why he did what he did - but you? I don’t understand - and I don’t think I ever will.” Elizabeth turned and started walking back to the hotel.
Diana knew that this was her one shot to make things right. She reached out and grabbed El’s arm. “I loved you and I was scared, okay? You were my best friend and I loved you and I thought I ruined everything when I kissed you. I didn’t want you to –” The words just stopped. She couldn’t say it.
“You didn’t want me to what?” There was no trace of anger in El’s question. “Laugh at you? Reject you?”
Diana nodded. She bit her lip, feeling like she was seventeen years-old again, shy and insecure and waiting for her life to begin.
“Honestly, Di - I don’t know what would have happened if Mozzie hadn’t interrupted us. I don’t know what I would have said, what I would have done. I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have rejected you - or at least, I wouldn’t have been mean or cruel. We were best friends, and I can’t deny that I was always a little curious. But nothing mattered more than our friendship, and I’ve never stopped regretting that. Some people – no, make that most people – leave their high school friends behind. I guess, because Moz and I are permanent, because we’ve retained such close ties with Peter and Neal, that I never stopped wishing that we had that, too.”
“I do, too.” Something worked loose, freeing her. Maybe confession was good for the soul. “I missed you. For years, I would see something or do something and think, ‘El would get such a kick out of that.’ But you weren’t there and that was my fault.” Diana tried not to sob, but failed miserably. She wiped away the tears, sniffling and wishing that she’d at least worn something with sleeves.
“Hey, hey…” El’s arms were wrapped around her, hugging her tightly. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
And just like that, it was. She clung to El for a moment, finally finding the peace that had eluded her all evening.
Neal couldn’t help but wonder if El and Diana were patching things up. Way back when, Moz had confided to him that he thought he saw Diana and El making out that night after prom, and the two girls who’d once been so close, seemed like strangers. Diana barely talked to any of them at graduation and she had left for an unplanned trip to Europe a few days later.
El had refused to talk about Diana and Neal let the matter drop. He’d been so self-involved - or rather - so totally involved with Peter that he’d barely noticed anything else going on. Ah, the joys of being a teenager.
Adult Neal felt a bad for Christie, who now seemed a little lost. She was the only outsider at the table. He moved over to Diana’s seat and gave her his brightest smile. “It’s probably a little weird for you, hanging out with a bunch of strangers.”
Christie shrugged. “I don’t mind.” She still sounded a little down, though.
“I don’t know if I’d have the internal fortitude to sit through such a tedious evening with people intent on reliving their high school glory days.”
That earned him a laugh. “I think if I didn’t know you and Peter, I might have sent Di off on her own. Volunteered to cover an extra shift or three. But I’m having fun. Just a little worried about Di. She’s been a little, well, off kilter all evening.” Christie gave him a quizzical look, as if she though he knew what was going on.
Neal debated, but in the end he answered honestly. “Diana and El had been best friends in high school but had a falling out just before graduation - I think maybe that’s what’s going on. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other in thirty years.”
Christie’s smile brightened. “Maybe they’re trying to patch things up.”
“I hope so. It would be nice if we were all friends again.”
“I still can’t get over how you and Peter have been together since high school. That’s …” She shook her head.
“A little bizarre for two gay men?” He’d heard it before.
Christie shrugged. “Yeah, really. It is.”
“What can I say - true love runs true. What Peter and I have –” Neal looked across the table at his husband, who was deep in conversation with Sara. Peter looked up, caught his eye and gave him a very private smile. “What we have together is special, priceless, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by for thirty years that I haven’t been awed by the blessings of our life together. We have friends who love to mock us, who try to convince us that we missed out on so much, but they don’t understand.”
Neal was a bit overwhelmed by the emotion. He shook himself and gave Christie what he hoped was a bright grin. The way she smiled back told him how much she understood.
And maybe she did.
Diana and Elizabeth were back, and Neal was pleased to see them walking together, both looking almost as good as they did back in the day. He got up and surrendered the seat to Diana. She looked from him to Christie and back, and there was unspoken gratitude in her eyes. Neal was about to sit back down when the DJ took over from the class president, who’d been droning on and on about the many accomplishments of the Class of ’83. The man promised only to spin the best of that year, and true to his word, he started out with Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.”
He stood there and tried not to laugh as a bunch of middle-aged men and women crowded onto the hotel room dance floor and tried to moonwalk. He wondered if they played this song at the prom.
“Wanna dance?” Peter joined him, hands in his pockets, looking relaxed and happy.
Neal laughed, “Maybe if they play something we can actually dance to.”
“Let me see if I can do something about that.”
Neal watched as Peter skirted around the dance floor, making his way towards the disc jockey’s setup. The song changed to another greatest hit of 1983, something even less danceable, Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science.”
He lost track of what Peter was doing when his former classmates switched from attempted moonwalking to something that resembled The Robot, and Neal covered his mouth to hide his laughter.
It's poetry in motion
She turned her tender eyes to me
As deep as any ocean
As sweet as any harmony
Mmm - but she blinded me with science
"She blinded me with science!"
And failed me in biology
She turned her tender eyes to me
As deep as any ocean
As sweet as any harmony
Mmm - but she blinded me with science
"She blinded me with science!"
And failed me in biology
“They are rather ridiculous, aren’t they?” Suddenly, Peter was back by his side.
“Yeah, but they’re having fun. Who are we to judge?”
Peter didn’t answer. He just stood there, smiling like he knew a secret.
Someone who knew him called out “Hey, Neal,” but she kept on going. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it might have been Taryn Vandersant, one of the many girls he’d slept with in his senior year.
A man with bad acne scars stumbled against Peter and cursed with drunken profundity. Peter helped him get his footing and moved him on without saying a word.
“I think that was Garrett Fowler. Wanna go ask him if he still wets the bed?”
Peter let out a shout of laughter, all the louder as it came as Thomas Dolby finished proclaiming for the very last time that he was blinded by science.
The music radically changed - from bizarre New Wave to the utterly romantic tones of an electronic organ. The dance floor seemed to empty as no one was interested in dancing to this song. But Neal’s heart skipped a beat as Peter turned to him and held out a hand.
“You said you wanted to slow dance with me.”
Neal took that hand and they walked with studied casualness onto the parquet, under the slowly spinning stars.
Tonight I celebrate my love for you
It seems like the natural thing to do
Tonight no one's gonna find us
We'll leave the world behind us
When I make love to you
Tonight
And I hope that deep inside you feel it too
Tonight our spirits will be climbing
To a sky lit with diamonds
When I make love to you
Tonight
It seems like the natural thing to do
Tonight no one's gonna find us
We'll leave the world behind us
When I make love to you
Tonight
And I hope that deep inside you feel it too
Tonight our spirits will be climbing
To a sky lit with diamonds
When I make love to you
Tonight
In all their years together, they’d done many brave things. They’d stood up to bigotry, they’d faced the possibility of terrible illness and death, they’d argued and torn themselves apart and come back together, stronger than before. But the one thing they never did was dance like this.
The moment was a little awkward. Neither of them was accustomed to dancing and they shuffled a bit until Neal let Peter take the lead. But the music was beautiful - the lyrics perfect as Roberta Flack sang about how friends would turn into lovers.
Neal rested his head on Peter’s shoulder and relished the feel of his husband’s arms around him. From the edge of the dance floor, the light from a dozen flashes sparked and he saw stars. They kept dancing, probably a very ungraceful shuffle, but that wasn’t what mattered.
The song ended and the room was silent. In that perfect moment of stillness, Peter murmured in his ear, “I love you.”
Go to Masterpost - On LJ | On DW
Tags:
- character: christie brooks,
- character: diana berrigan,
- character: elizabeth burke,
- character: mozzie,
- character: neal caffrey,
- character: peter burke,
- character: philip kramer,
- character: sara ellis,
- genre: abuse,
- genre: alternative universe,
- genre: angst,
- genre: backstory,
- genre: coming out,
- genre: emotional trauma,
- genre: family,
- genre: femmeslash,
- genre: friendship,
- genre: hurt/comfort,
- genre: kidfic,
- genre: romance,
- genre: slash,
- kink: dancing,
- kink: frotting,
- kink: homosexuality,
- pairing: diana/christie,
- pairing: diana/elizabeth,
- pairing: elizabeth/mozzie,
- pairing: peter/neal,
- type: fan fiction,
- type: longfic,
- wc verse: wonderful years,
- white collar,
- written for: kid fic story,
- year: 2014
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-03-02 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-03 12:00 am (UTC)Thank you!
I had struggled with the story but eventually I've come to love it - the low angst and overall happiness of the tale is a little unusual for me these days, but maybe that's what I needed.
Again, thank you!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 03:45 pm (UTC)I thought Moz's story was sad (though I loved the little detail about James's smile!), but El and Diana's was worse. It's so horribly sad that Diana, who had the guts to come out in high school, couldn't face El after kissing her. But it makes for a great reunion :D
ETA - Also? All the art was absolutely amazing. Loved it!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 03:48 pm (UTC)I had struggled a little with the story, and was worried that it seemed a little too much of a retread of earlier tales, so I am so glad to hear that this story worked and provoked such a strong and positive emotional reaction!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 03:54 pm (UTC)I can't even think beyond the mental image of Neal and Peter slow dancing together. It's so beautiful.
I'll be back with a proper comment, but I just had to say that this is a beautiful story and I love these characters so much.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 03:56 pm (UTC)Thank you so very much! And yes, Peter and Neal slow dancing will blow my brain, too!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 06:04 pm (UTC)PS glad to see a good Scottish band's lyrics in there!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 06:54 pm (UTC)And yes, in retrospect, Diana over-reacted. But as you say, she was a very unsure-of-herself 17 year-old. And if you can't overreact at 17, when can you?
no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-28 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 04:15 am (UTC)thank you!
no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 09:34 pm (UTC)I am so thrilled to make you that happy!
no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 06:11 am (UTC)Every time you write another bit it becomes richer and more vivid. I loved all the backstory, how Neal and Moz became friends (how it paralleled Neal and Peter's story), how El and Diana lost their friendship, how all their lives intersect again at the reunion.
I adored all the 80's references, Jean Nate!!!! and the guest appearances of Fowler and Phil. Awesome!
I loved the little glimpse of Neal's father, it made my heart break for Neal's loss all over again. And, I adored the dance. It was the perfect ending.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 09:36 pm (UTC)The Mozzie-Neal story deliberately paralleled Peter and Neal - in fact, Neal learned that he could trust people to do the right thing, to believe in his words because his dad did with Mozzie!
And yeah, that dance.
sigh
no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 08:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-02 04:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-23 12:24 am (UTC)<3
no subject
Date: 2014-03-23 12:30 am (UTC)The 'verse is centered on Peter and Neal, of course - but I was glad to have the opportunity to round out some of the other characters - fill in their stories.
no subject
Date: 2014-04-16 07:41 pm (UTC)They slow dance, hold hands, wink at each other, soooooo sweet, adore them and their ever lasting love so much.
I enjoyed the other characters all as well, their deep friendship so wonderful.
I can't get enough of this verse. I'm very happy that you still have ideas for it and I'm looking forward to every single chapter.
no subject
Date: 2014-04-16 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-16 08:08 pm (UTC)I really liked the background story of the "external' characters (the meeting with Neal/Moz? Cutest thing ever). I'm really in love with this universe, it's just perfect. I really hope you keep on adding snippets/stories to it :)
On my way to reading the Paladin verse now hehe !
no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 12:16 pm (UTC)There are many works planned for The Wonder(ful) Years, quite possibly one of my WCBB stories. The joy (and bane) of this verse is that it almost demands longer stories - there's so much richness I want to explore that it's hard not to write 15-20k in a shot!