White Collar Fic - Nothing Stays The Same

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: Nothing Stays The Same
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey (Friendship)
Spoilers: S5.03 – One Last Stakeout
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~1000
Beta Credit: None
Summary: Tag to S5.03 – One Last Stakeout, how Neal and Peter deal, or don’t deal, with ending of their partnership.

A/N: Written for Round One of the Brackets Challenge held during the D.C. Meetup in early November. The category was “Tropes” and the prompt was “A Character in Distress.”

__________________



“We’re not partners anymore.”

It almost killed him to say that. But it was the truth.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“We’re not partners anymore.”

Hearing those words out of Neal’s mouth made the truth all too real.

He knew that they were moving apart, that that special connection between them had been fraying for weeks. Maybe it was the promotion, or maybe it was more than that. Maybe it was his time in prison - those six weeks had left their mark. Stained him. Getting his badge back didn’t wipe those marks clean. He told Neal that he needed perspective, but he didn’t have to tell him that you couldn’t gain perspective without distance.

So the threads began to unravel, the rip was small at first, barely perceptible. Then it grew and no matter how much he tried to pretend it was fixable, there was no way they could mend the tear.

Peter tried to make himself believe was inevitable. After all, he was an FBI agent and Neal Caffrey was a conman, a criminal, a liar and a thief. Nothing common or petty or ordinary, but still a criminal. Yes, he was also an invaluable member of his team, but he wasn’t really one of them. He was unredeemed and unrepentant and it was only a matter of time until he returned to the life. Because no matter how hard he pushed or how gently he nudged, Caffrey was never going to be anything else.

And it hurt. Not like ripping away a bandage. That was a quick sting and the pain went away. Forgotten. No - this was like gunshot wound, a brutal beating, a car wreck. It ached and nothing seemed to ease the pain.

Maybe it was the finality of it all. Knowing that he once had something rare. He could rely on any of the agent on his team, under his command, implicitly - but it wasn’t the same as having Neal Caffrey at his side. Neal was committed only to the idea of Peter Burke, not to justice or the law.

He had to let go, and yet he couldn’t.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was a terrible irony. One worthy of an O’Henry story.

He sacrificed James and the possibility that he could ever redeem his father, to save Peter. And Peter didn’t hesitate to cut the cords, to turn his back on him. There were big things waiting for Special Agent Peter Burke, who brought down a corrupt senator, who exposed an equally corrupt FBI agent, who had an unparalleled record. The higher-ups had their eye on Peter Burke, they were going to take him all the way to the hallowed halls of power. They were going to take him away, all because Neal saved him.

Neal sat in front of his easel, not able to summon even the slightest desire to paint.

He just felt sick and sad and lonely. Moz might be a good drinking companion, and he could never ask for a truer friend, but Moz wasn’t Peter. He didn’t challenge him to be better, to be more than a conman, a criminal, a thief. Moz never made him dream about being a hero, being a man his father could be proud of.

That’s what Peter did for him, did to him and he missed that.

Siegel was a good guy, he was smart and he’d certainly keep Neal on his toes. But he was too easy to manipulate, too predictable. Too much of a boy scout. Siegel would never steal security tapes to keep Neal from going back to prison. Siegel would never fly halfway around the world to keep him alive and fight to bring him back as a free man.

No, David Siegel would put him back in prison without hesitation and that didn’t worry Neal. It was simple, Neal would never hesitate, he’d never turn back, he’d never stop and look at what he what he was leaving behind.

David Siegel wasn’t his friend. He was just a guy who was holding his leash for a little while. Another four hundred twenty three days and he’d be gone. And this time, Neal wouldn’t stop, he wouldn’t hesitate, he wouldn’t turn back.

There would be no reason to.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The irony of his pain didn’t escape Peter. He and Neal had forged their partnership chasing the Dutchman, and that partnership came to an end when just when those forged bonds disintegrated. Ironic and metaphorical.

So, he tried to enjoy his new life, the perks of the job - a shiny new car, box seats at Yankee Stadium, hobnobbing with the famous and the powerful. But he couldn’t.

He wished El understood just what he left behind. He could leave the office at five, be home before six and they’d joke about the best part of his new job - no more nights in the van. And late at night, after El fell asleep in his arms, when his body was tired, but his mind couldn’t turn off, he could still feel the pain.

You’d trade everything for just one more stakeout, one more chance to slap Neal’s hand away from the radio, one more chance to dine on stinky deviled ham and listen to Neal complain.

But he and Neal were no longer partners and things couldn’t stay the same forever. No matter how much he wanted them too.

FIN

Comments

[sahiya]

Oh ouch. My heart. Our poor boys. Lovely work, m'dear.

[joy2190.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is so poignantly written. So sad that both of them know what they've had and lost. I think you put your finger on the crux of the matter when Peter described Neal as unredeemed and unrepentant. Until Neal is repentant he cannot be redeemed. But just what might get him to that point is unclear especially after all that everyone's been through he still can't seem to truly accept the error of his ways and move forward with Peter. Sob!

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. I think that Neal's journey keeps restarting because he believes himself incapable of being who he once wanted to be, if that makes any sense.

[kanarek13]

Awww, hearbreaking *sniff* And yet this is exactly how I feel about their relationship at this point, I'm enjoying s5 a lot and even though they are back working together, it's not the same anymore :(

I just hope they will find a way to fix it!

I wish we were already past the big reveal or something, the tension is slowly killing me :P

[elrhiarhodan]

{{{{{{{{HUGS YOU}}}}}}}}}}

I am certain that they will find a way to fix this, I will be intensely disappointed if they don't.

And yeah, while I am loving S5, the relationship is not the same, it's not as close as it should be. But I have hope and faith and trust that it will all be right in the end.

[ultracape.livejournal.com]

So sad but oh so very O'Henry. I just hope that like the Gift of the Maji, their sacrafice proves their love for each other. I keep thinking that just at the point where they are to break, when Peter is going to truly arrest Neal or Neal is going to commit some crime he would never have done in the past that one of them takes a bullet for the other.

[joy2190.livejournal.com]

Has Neal been shot at all? Apologies if I am forgetting something that major! Mozzie has I know, I forget if Peter has just been whumped or actually shot(canon and fanfiction have merged in my addled brain!) so maybe it's Neal's turn and they are going to redeem him as he takes a (non-fatal)bullet for justice!

[elrhiarhodan]

Yeah, Neal was shot - in the beginning of Most Wanted, but sadly, it was little more than a flesh wound inflicted by Mad-Dog Collins.

Don't know if Peter's ever been shot - but given the lack on visible scars on that perfect torso, I doubt it.

And yeah, Neal taking the bullet for Peter - one of my favorite tropes.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

I too hope that the gift that Neal gave to Peter is not a sacrifice in vain. But I think that Peter will never be able to find the cold, clear part of himself that will be able to arrest Neal, ever.

[kerrylang.livejournal.com]

If only Peter would tell Neal that he misses their good ol' times...

Right now Neal is hurt and he hates to be manipulated by Hagen. And there is no comfort from Peter, of course, just suspicion and resentment. Neal has made the deal with the devil but now he asks for what? For his friend who let him down.

Great, moving story, it hurts and we can only hope that they will get over their burdens soon.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. I do hope that the difficulties between our boys will end soon. Neal just has to find a way out of his Faustian bargain.

[pooh-collector.livejournal.com]

"He was unredeemed and unrepentant and it was only a matter of time until he returned to the life. Because no matter how hard he pushed or how gently he nudged, Caffrey was never going to be anything else." Prophetic. Since the ep with Neal and the crooked psychiatrist had not yet aired.

I love the turmoil in this piece. It really defines what's going on this season.

What I'm hoping for, is that they will end up taking down the Dutchman together and the process will rekindle their partnership. Make Peter see the sacrifices that Neal made for him and make Neal realize that he really isn't a criminal any longer.

[elrhiarhodan]

Ahhh! Yes, I had forgotten about that! I do think that she implanted some subtle suggestion in him that he didn't recover during this chemical experimentation.

Thank you so much!

I hope (and have strong reason to hope) that they will be working together to re-capture Hagen in a way that will not sacrifice Neal instead.

[palombaggia.livejournal.com]

Yes. I was secretly hoping you would write this one. This is exactly what I feel about them right now. I feel much better after having read this since there seems to be a lot of Neal bashing around ( he is a criminal bla bla deserves bla bla).
Of course, Neal isn't perfect...but he "killed" metaphorically speaking his real father to save Peter...and what did he get in return? A speech about his bad sides ( this scene still kills me). Now, I understand,after long discussions with other fans,why Peter needed to distance himself with Neal...but still..
Anyway, this is beautiful and shows how they feel...and gawww and sadness and angst.
This line " Neal was committed to Peter Burke, not to the justice or the law" OMG yes and a thousand yes!!!
I'm happy someone wrote that.
Because it's so so true.
I'm happy you wrote it by the way.
And before you ask, there will be no kitchen disaster tonight in Paris!
Hugs

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so much! It was a story that had been percolating in my head for quite a while - the sacrifice that Neal made can't ever be recognized, and Peter's necessary blindness to it.

And I am glad this was a short fic, if just to save what was undoubtedly some delicious cuisine.

[zou2.livejournal.com]

Prophetic to say the least. I guess my biggest problem with Peter's interaction with Neal this year is that while he gut is still working just fine in knowing that Neal is up to something, but it seems to have short circuited as to the logical reason why....TO SAVE PETER HIMSELF.

How sad to think that Peter pulling away from Neal will become a self fulfilling prophecy in that without Peter in his life Neal will indeed have no reason to stay away from his old ways and most assuredly will return to his criminal lifestyle.

This all makes me so very very sad. I'm hoping for something wonderful to happen at the end of season 5 but I'm thinking instead Neal will end up in cuffs again and Peter will put them on him.

[elrhiarhodan]

Yes, Peter has a great big Neal-shaped blind spot - but I hope that it will resolve soon (if just for the sake of my fannish nerves).

I am pretty well convinced that it will all work out well. For...reasons.

[pjna3.livejournal.com]

Ow... But also Wow. This was such an insightful piece. I think you nailed their emotional states and the reasons behind them. And as always, it is beautifully written.

I'm going to the Forum to rec this. It's must reading.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much! I do appreciate any recommendations.

[treonb.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how much I love this! You put your finger on something that's been so bothering me, the fact that Peter is now moving on up just because Neal was ready to get dirty for him.

It was a terrible irony. One worthy of an O’Henry story.

He sacrificed James and the possibility that he could ever redeem his father, to save Peter. And Peter didn’t hesitate to cut the cords, to turn his back on him.

So perfect.

And the ending is point on. So sad but so true. (though I really wish they'd find a way to get past it..)

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much.

I am pretty certain (and I have concrete reasons) to hope that this will all be resolved and they will reconnect as friends and trusted allies soon enough.

[sinfulslasher]

Ouch, that hurt. But it's a brilliant character piece for both guys, and I hope that sooner or later they'll figure out each other's thoughts and feelings in canon. *smishes them both*

As joy2190 said, the crux of the matter is Peter describing Neal as unredeemed and unrepentant (and both being very true!), and yes, until Neal is repentant, he will never be redeemed. As it's now canon that he does not feel guilt or remorse, he's never going to be redeemed (and I doubt he wants to be, tbh).

Also? Neal was committed only to the idea of Peter Burke, not to justice or the law. Exactly!!! Hence the justifications and lack of guilt and remorse.

Oh boys.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. I am pretty certain (for reasons) that they will be back in the saddle together sooner than later.

I have to wonder if Neal's sudden embrace of his criminal id is the result of some unremembered suggestion planted by the evil doctor.

[morganslady.livejournal.com]

This is just so sad for both Peter and Neal.. :(

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you.

[kaylashay.livejournal.com]

*sniffle*

*hugs both of them*

[elrhiarhodan]

{{{hugs you}}}

Love your icon. Neal ALWAYS needs a hug.

[pipilj.livejournal.com]

Loved the angst. hugs both of them glad u did not vilify any one

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. And no, I would never vilify either Peter or Neal - they are constrained by circumstances beyond their control. Vilification is counter-productive.

[sapphire2309]

This is a lovely little time machine to a few eps ago when White Collar wasn't quite as happy a place. Beautiful.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

I am enjoying this tension between them. Maybe because I can appreciate the underlying reasons. Unlike S3, it's not about greed.

[zou2.livejournal.com]

Not gonna ask the source of your "reasons" but the fact that you have them makes me happy.

I hadn't before focused on the fact that Neal's actions previously was for his own gain aka Nazi treasure, and this time he gains absolutely nothing....and hopefully that will make all the difference when Peter learns the truth.

I so want to believe that Peter already knows or suspects the Hagan angle but don't see any proof of that yet, nor do I understand why he couldn't tell Neal. Whatever it is keeping them apart I sure hope that it winds down and we "get the band back together again" soon.

[elrhiarhodan]

I don't know if Peter suspects Hagen, but he knows that something is definitely up.

[damietta.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I think the show has painted itself into a corner with Neal and Peter's relationship, but little snippets and fillers like this make the show a deeper experience for sure. Well done.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much! I do agree - but every time I think they get themselves into an unresolvable pickle, something happens to make it right again.

[govgal.livejournal.com]

Heart breaking and very insightful! Well done.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much.

[snowdrop3100.livejournal.com]

Ouch. So, so painfully beautiful.


Thank you for writing and sharing :)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that our boys will get their on-screen friendship back soon (I have yet to see the eps beyond 5.03).
Because, slash goggles or not, no one can tell me that they are not at the very least friends. The things Peter did for Neal in the past, you don't do for just anyone.

[elrhiarhodan]

I am hoping (and almost certain) that this terrible situation will be resolved soon. It has to - my heart can't take much more than this.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

This so nicely captured what was, for viewers, a change-in-dynamic that inspired nothing but sadness and dread.

Peter and Neal's partnership is special, and makes them BOTH better people. Peter's promotion was like any desk job-- great on paper, and with some tangible benefits, but so much is lost in getting farther away from the real action. The loss of that relationship with Neal would be the hardest to forget.