Meme - Ask Me about A/U's I'll Never Write

[elrhiarhodan]

Okay, my flist has spoken, and the overwhelming winner of the Help Me Pick a Meme post was the "A/U's I'll Never Write" meme. Which is not a completely accurate title, since I've played this meme before and ended up writing complete stories for quite a few of the suggested A/Us.

So, here goes:

Give me an A/U and I'll write a few paragraphs about a story that I may or may not write.

Fandoms are White Collar, White Collar, and yes, White Collar. My brain isn't working well enough for any solo A/Us for my peripheral interests at the moment, but I will entertain crossovers with Lewis, Sherlock, Skyfall and Star Trek: AOS, so long as the primary fandom is White Collar.

And if you'd like, repost on your own journal and I'll play there, too.

Comments

[rabidchild.livejournal.com]

OH, this is one of my favorite memes!

Disney Movie: GO!

PS - I'm totes ripping this off

[elrhiarhodan]

Oh, you are SO EVOL!!!!!!!! (And hurrah for ripping this off).

Give me a few, I have to decide which Disney Movie I want to use.

White Collar - Sleeping Beauty (Part 1 of 3)

[elrhiarhodan]

He was as beautiful as the dawn, and had he been the girl-child his parents had been expecting, the baby would have been named Aurora. You see, the great fairies of the Kingdom of Bennett all said that their offspring would be the most beautiful child ever born - it was a pity that King James and Queen Leah thought that meant the babe would be female.

But never mind that, a son was a son and something to rejoice about. For a son meant that the kingdom would go on, the throne secure for another generation, even if King James was corrupt and Queen Leah was weak.

The boy child, so beautiful with his long, dark lashes and brilliant blue eyes and silky dark curls, was named "Neal" - for he was destined to become a great champion. Or so they thought.

At his christening, the king and queen were careful to invite all the fairies to give their blessing to the beautiful prince, but somehow, the invitation to the fairy Terrence was lost. Terrance was a fairy of great power and even greater pride. Insulted, he appeared at the christening and laid a curse upon poor Prince Neal.

"On his seventeenth birthday, he will learn the truth of his parents' misdeeds and will flee the kingdom, he will become a disgraced outlaw, condemned to spend the rest of his life in prison."

Amidst the gasps of horror, the three greatest fairies of the realm, Diana the Fierce, Clinton the Stalwart and Elizabeth the Wise cast a quick countercharm. They couldn't stop evil Terrance's evil curse completely, but they could change it.

"Neal will learn about his parents’ less than noble deeds, but he will only suffer the pain of the heart. His talents – for they are many – will keep him safe, even in the darkest hours. And when he is old enough, he will meet true love and that love will make him strong and wise and good.”

To be safe, baby Neal was given into the care of the wise woman, Ellen, who took him deep into the forest and cared for him as if he were her own.

Neal grew tall and strong and if possible, even more beautiful. Ellen tried to teach him all that he should know about statecraft, she painted him pictures of the wise King James, a hero to all the citizens of their kingdom. All the gifts that the fairies bestowed upon him at his birth – a facility for language, art, creativity of all types – made him more than just a pretty face. He had charm and wit and although Ellen herself was a great warrior, Neal loathed violence.

On the anniversary of his birth seventeen years previous, Ellen took Neal to his parents’ castle. There he found a few familiar faces, particularly those of the three great fairies, Diana, Clinton and Elizabeth. They had been frequent visitors to the little cottage in the forest, and Neal took great delight in playing games with them. Even now, on the cusp of adulthood, Neal indulged in a game of hide-and-seek.

Alas, but he lost his way in the corridors of the great castle and found himself in the dungeon. There he saw King James, wearing an ugly and twisted expression as he watched as a prisoner was tortured on the rack.

How could this be? King James was his father, a good and kindly man, beloved by all!

At that moment, Prince Neal decided to run away – he did not want to know this man; he did not want any part of the kingdom he was to inherit. Not if it meant he had to hurt people.

[sinfulslasher]

Okay, well, obviously the one about Sheriff Burke whose peaceful life takes a turn for the wild and unexpected when a well-dressed, silver-tongued stranger named Neal Caffrey rides into town. The man just has a talent for sweet talking his way into the hearts of all the ladies and cons his way into the pockets of most men.

But then things get really intestering when Sheriff Burke finds out that this stranger, who is never armed, is actually the infamous gunslinger Neal Bennett.

*slinks away*

(I'm totes snagging this and using it for my February Unwritten Story Meme!)

[elrhiarhodan]

Sheriff Peter Burke was a good man, an honest officer of the law, as incorruptible as an archangel, and as determined. He tolerated no bad men in his town (though a few bad women had been know to slip past him on occasion).

Life in West Brooklyn was mostly peaceful, mostly because there were times - usually on Saturday nights, Sheriff Peter has to go to Miz El's place and break up a fight or ensure that her ladies are treated properly.

A stranger rides into town one day, a very pretty, sweet talkin' stranger. He calls himself Neal Caffrey, and he's a Artist. Before long, all the ladies are clamoring for him to paint their portraits (and a few of them even want to pose nude).

Mister Caffrey becomes the most popular man in town and Sheriff Peter is confounded - because he's a fancy man, maybe even a little light in the heels, if you know what that means (he's seen Neal checking out his, ummm, gun - and not the one strapped to the outside of his thigh). But the men of the town seem to like him just fine. They are eager to play poker with him and share a glass of whiskey and laugh at his tales of life in Gay Paree. Maybe it's that Neal Caffrey is the only man in town who doesn't carry a gun - how can you be threatened by an unarmed man?

Anyway, about once every few months, Peter, as the Sheriff of West Brooklyn, got a packed of Wanted posters from the Territorial Government. He'd take down the ones that were "cancelled" - a good euphemism for being dead - and put up the new ones. Since West Brooklyn had the reputation for being a law and order town, very few real outlaws passed through or at least stopped and tried to cause trouble, so these Wanted Posters were mostly a formality.

Which explained why Sheriff Burke nearly had a fit of the vapors when he unfolded the last poster in the package - it was for the outlaw called "Neal Bennett" - a gunslinger with the fastest hands in the West, responsible for shooting a dozen men from Carson City, Nevada to Waco, Texas and beyond. Not that any of those men died - apparently Neal Bennett preferred to wound his victims - mostly by shooting their guns out of their hands.

But still, gunfighting was illegal and Neal Bennett was a wanted criminal in six territories.

Sheriff Peter stared at the wanted poster, and for the first time in his long, storied career, he crumpled it up and tossed the paper into the fire. Neal Bennett may be a gunfighter, but Neal Caffrey was a charming, harmless artist, an asset to the town and someone he wanted to get to know better.

And maybe fuck his brains out.

[ultracape.livejournal.com]

Forgive me. I've never been quite sure what a meme is but here goes:
James Bennett was an F.B.I. agent instead of a cop. However Neal's mother tells him that his father was innocent and it was the corrupt F.B.I. that set him up. Neal becomes an F.B.I . agent in order to destroy it from within. However right out of Quantico he's assigned as a probie to Peter Burke.
or
Kate was really Peter's daughter from an earlier marriage.

[daria234.livejournal.com]

That first AU? YESSSSSSS

A Mission of Vengeance

[elrhiarhodan]

Neal hated guns. If he had his way, the Second Amendment would be stricken from the Constitution, no one would be able to own even an antique dueling pistol, and the world would be a much safer place.

But he couldn’t have his way and guns were a fact of life. They had to be. He was about to become a Special Agent of the FBI.

Just like his father. James Bennett died in a hail of bullets, a mob hit set up by his fellow agents because he tried to expose their collusion with the criminals they were supposed to be arresting.

Neal loathed everything about the Bureau: its image as the upholder of justice and the supposed incorruptibility of its agents. He knew better. His father died because the Bureau was riddled with corruption, its agents paid (and paid well) to look the other way as heroin and cocaine flooded into the country, as tons of firearms were sold to mobsters who waged their own private wars, uncaring of the death and destruction they wrought upon the innocent.


But Neal was careful to keep his cynicism hidden. The face he presented was the perfect mirror of the ideal agent-in-training: enthusiastic, loyal, patriotic. It wasn’t all that hard – Neal was intelligent and he had a gift for reading people that was almost uncanny. In more reflective moments, he wondered if he would have been better off becoming a criminal.

No – that wouldn’t work. He’d never be able to avenge his father’s death from the wrong side of the law. He had names – supervisory agents, partners, undercover agents – men and women who betrayed his father and were paid well for that betrayal. It was going to take years, Neal knew. Years of working at menial tasks, years of probationary service and then working his way up the ranks. Getting assigned to OPR was his ultimate goal – he’d have access and authority to see his justice done.

There was no statute of limitation on murder, and the murder of a Federal Agent in the prosecution of his duties was a capital offense.

His friend Moz, a Renaissance man and paranoiac (if those two qualities didn’t cancel each other out), was fond of dropping quotations and bon mots. When Neal was assigned to the White Collar division in New York, Moz simply said, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”

Neal had no choice but to accept the assignment, which was considered an even better plum that a berth in the FBI offices in D.C. New York might just be a field office, but it was the largest and most prestigious. And Peter Burke, his supervisory agent was a legend. Even the most cynical of the higher-ups said that Burke embodied the FBI’s motto – Fidelity – Bravery – Integrity.

Neal was looking forward to taking down that legend, exposing the man’s flaws, his weaknesses. No one, especially an FBI agent with as much power as Burke had, was incorruptible.

[surreal-44.livejournal.com]

IE is being very naughty today.

Ok, so...

Scooby Doo style. :p

Also, this is the one I was going to suggest to you, but I somehow deleted it:

Dog Show AU! :D

[elrhiarhodan]

Dog Show A/U

“This isn’t going well.” Elizabeth made a moue of distaste, her pretty lips curled into a frown.

Peter had to agree. Between them, they had interviewed over two dozen potential handlers for Arundalia His Banana’s Majesty Champion, a/k/a Satchmo. None of them were right. There was one handler who insisted on wearing an electric blue tuxedo and acid green high tops, another was more interested in eating the bait. Then there was the woman who thought she could handle Satchmo while wearing her 5-inch stiletto Jimmy Choos. He and El had a hard time not laughing when she went down on her ass (she slipped on dog poo).

Time was running short. They needed a handler for Satch for Westminster. In a pinch, El would put her name down as the handler and submit a modification when they found a handler they liked, except that she was in a walking cast, which made handling in the show ring impossible.

Peter supposed he could put himself down as a handler, except he suffered from agoraphobia and would probably freak out at the Garden. All those people, all those dogs. He tried not to shudder at the thought.

There was one more handler candidate to interview. A Mr. Neal Caffrey. He had no experience with Westminster, but his resume was impressive. Two best of breed showings at the national level for Irish Wolfhounds, multiple top threes for other large breeds, including one turn at Krufts in the UK.

“He’s awfully pretty, don’t you think?” El handed him the headshot that accompanied Caffrey’s resume.

Peter raised an eyebrow. “Very pretty, indeed.”

“Would you like to fuck him?”

Peter laughed. They’d come a long way from the bitterness and acrimony of divorce court. It took years, but they learned to trust each other again, to become friends. “And if I said, ‘yeah’ – would it bother you?”

“Only if it interfered with showing Satch.”

“That’s my girl – keeping her priorities straight.”

“Someone has to.”

[theatregirl7299]

I have two. One you may not write and one you may. You can pick

May not write - WC/Terminator Movies

May write - WC/Dragonriders of Pern (you mentioned this before and I'm waiting in great anticipation for it to happen. Pern was my first foray into fantasy and it will always have a special place in my heart. I love Master Robinton...)

Basically an excuse to write Dragon!Mozzie

[elrhiarhodan]

This is not the WC/Pern crossover I’m writing for DMK0064

The brown dragon knew these three things were important.

His name was Mozarth, but he really preferred to be called Moz or Mozzie.

He hatched from an Egg.

He looked to N’eal, his Weyrmate.

These were the only things he cared about.

Other dragons might talk about Thread and Hold and Weyr, but none of that mattered to him.

Sometimes, N’eal would remind Moz that he liked music and fine Benden wine (not that N’eal would allow him to drink too much of it), and that he shouldn’t keep stealing all of the ladies’ pretty jewels.

This was, apparently, the problem with being a dragon. He had almost no durable memory.

The older dragons - not the oldtimer dragons - but the hatchlings born and matured during this Pass seemed to have memories of places they’ve never been, of times before they breached their shells. But not Moz. He didn’t know about the First Shell and the Ancient Ways and he couldn’t be made to care.

N’eal was really the only thing he cared about, and the silly man kept insisting that he had to eat that smelly, awful tasting stone so he could make fire come out of his mouth. Which really wasn’t so bad, except when he was all done, he had to vomit it all back up.

Disgusting, truly.

Moz liked a few humans, and he was proud of the fact that he could (sometimes) remember their names. There was P’ter, who rode Bronze Satchmoth and was ’Neal’s wing-leader and bedmate. El, who had Dianath - a very pretty golden Queen dragon - she was of the same hatching as him. N’eal was friends with the Journeyman Harper, Clinton. That man had a beautiful voice - almost as good Master Robinton himself - deep and rich and profound. Moz didn’t quite trust Journeyman Clinton, but he wasn’t sure why.

Something about Harpers always having more than one motive.

Moz stretched out in his body, oddly proud of the fact that he was the smallest brown dragon in the Weyr. His wings might not be as broad as Canth’s (and few were), but he was faster, more nimble, and smarter that most other dragons (that little white sport at Ruth not withstanding), even if he couldn’t really remember why this was a good thing.

[coffeethyme4me.livejournal.com]

Apocalypse!

[elrhiarhodan]

This got a little out of hand. You can find your story here: Listen to Your Heart Bleed

[embroiderama]

Everything's basically the same, except that it's set around the previous turn of the century.

White Collar - Fin de Siecle Vienna Style

[elrhiarhodan]

Note: I did a number of papers on the Modernist art movement in Europe at the turn of the 20th Century, back in the day when I studied what I wanted (ie, before I realized I needed to make a living). Your prompt spoke to my memories of the art of La Belle Epoque and Fin De Siecle Vienna. And besides, you didn't specify New York, did you? Here goes...

Peter Burke held the rank of oberst in the Imperial Army of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, but he wore no uniform and his subordinates addressed him simply as Herr Burke. Peter didn’t mind – he hated the formal dress with its acres of gold bullion thread and rattling medals and ridiculous epaulettes. He preferred to dress simply; a suit, poorly tailored and years out of style was his style. His beloved wife might have preferred her husband to be a little more fashionable, but that was a small complaint.

Besides, looking like a less-than-prosperous burger suited him. For he was not just a colonel in the Army, Peter Burke was one of the most highly decorated officers in Imperial Secret Police – the Kundschafts Stelle, surpassed only by his commanding officer, Alfred Redl. Peter never trusted the man – he liked the finer things too much.

But he kept his thoughts about Redl to himself, because even though he was a ranking officer in the Secret Police, there were still people watching him. Someone was always watching.

And besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have better things to do that worry about a fellow officer. Not when he had the most intriguing case of his career. There was an artist – an Irishman – who would prove to be his entrée into the radical Modernist movement, The man wasn’t member of The Secession, but he had links to the radical artists who had so dramatically rejected the accepted Classical forms.

His name was Neal Caffrey, he was a forger and a thief. He was also too beautiful for words and made Peter’s blood sing in that forbidden way (and if he and Redl had anything in common, it was this).

He was going to catch Neal Caffrey – play him hard and make him hurt – and in the end, Caffrey would help him shut down these threats to the safety and the security of the Empire.

---

Colonel Redl was a real person - a traitor in the pay of the Russian empire, and was in large part responsible for the build up of tensions between Russia and the Austro-Hungarian empire just before WWI. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand may have been the trigger for war, but Redl was the one who loaded the gun.

[aragarna.livejournal.com]

Same settings, but instead of everyone being super smart, they all are super dumb. :-)

[elrhiarhodan]

Can I say that this is an impossible task! But I'll definitely try.

[nieseryjna.livejournal.com]

A slightly different world - Elizabeth is the FBI agent, Peter went corporate, Neal is still Neal but he married Kate. Neal was caught and then ran away when Kate disappeared.

[daria234.livejournal.com]

Antiquarian bookseller AU set in the semi-legal world of those who buy and sell ridiculously old books. Like pieces of scroll mysteriously saved from Alexandria hidden in secret pockets in 18th Century pornographic books kind of old.

Peter becomes part of this world because he suspects his friend and mentor Reese disappeared while pursing a rare book. To learn more, he befriends book thief Neal Caffrey and he tells himself not to forget what a criminal Neal is and not to fall in love with him. Mozzie has a secret warehouse with ALL THE BOOKS.

[angelita26]

I posted this as a plot bunny in my journal a while back - mostly because the thought of Neal with a shoulder holster is super exciting. :)

The Ol' Switcheroo - Neal is the FBI agent who's been chasing Peter, a white (or blue) collar criminal who keeps eluding him whenever he gets close. Neal sets a trap using Peter's girlfriend/wife Elizabeth and is surprised by their relationship (while his own home life with wife Kate is unraveling). He eventually catches and arrests Peter, who may or may not get released on an anklet in Neal's custody.

[wickhouse2005.livejournal.com]

Neal is the gay son of a New York Don. What is the FBI prepared to do in order to turn him out?

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

After recently Disney's Sword in the Stone,BBC's Merlin and Errol Flynn version of The Prince and the Pauper, I'm inspired to imagine Neal as Arthur , Mozzie as Merlin, ... Picturing Neal pulling out the sword, and later actually being king. Etc.

As for combining fandoms young and old. Neal waking up to find himself part of the Garrison's Gorillas. His role is forger, of course,along with his other multiple talents. Hmmm, still has strong dislike of guns.

So glad you are feeling better and writing again!!

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Neal's a famous singer; Peter's his manager.

[misura.livejournal.com]

In view of the icon: the AU where Mozzie is a famous (if slightly eccentric) food critic, Neal is a chef and Peter is hm a regular customer at Neal's restaurant?

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

Ooooh... Vampire AU! Maybe Peter and El have literally been looking forever for someone "worthy"? :)

[robingal1.livejournal.com]

Infomercial AU: Neal has to sell over a hundred items from or while on the QVC home shopping channel.

Bonus points if you can do it without TYPING LIKE BILLY MAYES!!!