Am I the Asshole - A Brief Relationship

[elrhiarhodan]

About three weeks ago, I downloaded the reddit app on my phone so I could read Am I the Asshole posts, and for the first time in my life, I got sucked into a social media sinkhole. Now, I never created a reddit account (and thus never commented) but reading about all these people’s awful lives was so incredibly addictive. Wives dealing with abusive and controlling and boundary-defying mother-in-laws, stepchildren ignored or emotionally abused by their parent’s new partner and stepsiblings, significant others (okay, almost always the boyfriend) taking weaponized incompetence to ICBM-levels, bridezilllas thinking nothing of asking invitees (not even members of their bridal party) to cut or color their hair so they wouldn’t be outshone on their special day, and a million other examples of the petty terribleness of humanity.

At first, it was amusing - the schadenfreude was strong, but after a while, it was just sad. And then depressing. I felt my mental health take a deep nosedive.

This morning, I deleted the app from my devices and erased the reddit bookmark from my browser. The world is shitty enough without drowning in other people’s petty bad choices.

(reposted from my tumblr)

Comments

[vriddy]

I'm not sure if this helps or makes it worse, but most of the time when I see r/AITA referred to in other subreddits, the consensus is that most of the stories are made up and all use the same kind of beats, all for the sake of karma-farming.

I hear you though, because I went through a phase of also reading that particular subreddit a year or two ago, mostly because I found the replies useful to take into account perspectives I may not have considered... but it's all a lot, and the initial stories can be so depressing or anxiety-inducing.

Good on you for stopping when you noticed it didn't bring any joy any more!! Hope you find something more fun to do with the time :)

[elrhiarhodan]

I think a LOT of the stories are embellished - mostly in the way the OP's friends and family react. From what I've read, that drama has to be manufactured to meet the "current conflict" rules, and so I tended to ignore the reaction bits of the posting (my friends say I'm the asshole for this). But still, reading this stuff was addictive and depressing and I just had to stop cold turkey.

AITA had filled the gap when I had put the brakes on my Tumblr usage. I'd backed away from the T as my casual scroll-friend because I'd been avoiding info about the Kenobi show, but since I'm now thoroughly spoiled, I can go back to it. I'm not addicted to Tumblr (at least I don't think so) because it doesn't provide any real emotional engagement - I have no real tumblr friends (or if I do have them, we quickly migrate to Discord). I'm there for the pretty, that's about it.

[vriddy]

I'm not addicted to Tumblr (at least I don't think so) because it doesn't provide any real emotional engagement

That's an interesting definition! I think it works differently for me, probably because of the infinite scrolling. My answer to "is it addictive?" is more related to "am I still on this site even though I would rather be doing something else with my time?" and apparently, even without much emotional engagement/friend interactions I can still get into that state. I have to use a browser extension to restrict how much time I can spend there.

I hope you can peacefully enjoy the pretty now you're back and free of Reddit!! :D

[elrhiarhodan]

I spend ten minutes here and there on the T during the daytime, more in the evenings when I need a scroll-friend. It is definitely a happier place and I'm doing a bit of curating of my feed. I honestly don't want to see politics there - and while I can slide past most of them, I check if the more strident posts are coming from the same people and I unfollow. I get enough from the NYT and Politico, tbh - most of what is on T, politically, is grossly misinformed and so black and white, it might as well be neo-conservative.