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elrhiarhodanTitle: Some Things Are Just Unacceptable
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elrhiarhodan
Rating: PG (for a kiss)
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke, P/E/N, Satchmo Burke
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None, and I mean NONE.
Word Count: ~750
Summary: Originally written for the Fic Recognition Meme, forafiawri . She asked me to identify the line: “El and Neal kissing is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, there is a perfection to them that makes something within him burst with joy, each and every time..” (From Insure The Common Defense - Part IV of The Preamble, Redux)
_________________
Peter couldn't help but realize that Neal seems a little, well, off. He'd been quiet all weekend, seemingly buried in his own thoughts. Elizabeth noticed too - and she picked up on the strange looks Neal had been giving them ever since cleaning up after dinner on Friday night.
Peter wanted to confront Neal, he doesn't like the idea of secrets between them. El, however, thought it best to let Neal come to them. So Peter followed her advice and stewed. Neal’s been quiet, unwilling to talk to Peter, pushing him off politely. It wasn’t like the time that Neal thought Peter was hiding Kate - there were no sharp comments, no vaguely threatening asides. Neal just seemed to have withdrawn into himself.
Neal’s strange behavior continued through the work week, even to the point where Neal declined Peter's invitation to lunch on Tuesday, and then to dinner the next night. He talked with El - and neither of them could pinpoint any reason for Neal’s conduct. By Thursday, they were both worried. Was Neal breaking up with them, had they don't something wrong, or worse - was Neal getting himself into trouble?
When Friday rolled around, Peter wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, and as he was leaving, he practically dragged Neal from his desk and into his car. Neal was still unnaturally quiet, but he wasn't angry or evasive or squirrelly. Just not inclined to chat.
He followed Peter into the house, gave Elizabeth a warm and welcoming kiss with lots of tongue and a little biting, just the way she liked it. Peter, on the other hand, didn’t get much of anything.
Fed up and more than a little hurt, Peter pushed Neal onto the couch, and was prepared to tackle him if he tried to leave. "Okay - Neal, what gives? You've been treating me like I've had bad breath all week." Suddenly horrified, Peter breathed into his hand and sniffed - nope, his breath was just fine.
Neal bit his lip and wouldn't look Peter in the eye. A sure sign of a guilty mind.
"Neal - what did you do?"
Neal muttered something.
"What? I didn't hear that."
"I didn't DO anything." Neal's voice was sharp in the quietness of the room.
El stepped in, Peter's bullying wasn't going to get them anywhere. She sat down on the other side of Neal and brushed her hand through his hair and he relaxed into her caress.
"Honey - whatever it is, you can tell us."
Neal blinked at her and shook his head.
"Yes, you can." Peter tone had softened, and he patted Neal's knee.
Neal relented. "Okay. Last Friday night, I discovered about something about you, something that bothers me. I'll tell you - and you have to promise to stop this behavior. Both of you."
Peter looked at his wife, puzzled. What could Neal have found to make him so unhappy about with THEM? El looked back at him, equally confused.
Neal got up from the couch and Peter and Elizabeth followed him into the kitchen. Neal opened the refrigerator door, reached in a pulled out...
A can of spray cheese.
Neal slammed the offending processed food product onto the counter. "I can put up with the deviled ham, the down market Heisler Gold beer, and even the Sugar O's - but this … this is beyond the pale, even for you." Neal glared at Peter. And then turned to Elizabeth. “How could you even let this into your house? Of all things?”
Elizabeth started giggling, and couldn't stop. Peter's lips twitched and he started laughing too. As the Burkes became incoherent, Neal just stood there, suddenly feeling like the butt of a bad joke. Finally, Peter got control of himself and went to the cabinet that housed Satchmo's food. He retrieved a hollowed out bone, took the can of spray cheese and filled the inside. Hearing the familiar sound of his treat being prepared, Satch burst into the kitchen, tail wagging and tongue lolling in a happy doggie grin. Peter gave him the cheese filled bone, and Satchmo went to work.
Elizabeth stopped laughing just long enough to wipe the tears from her eyes and see the appalled expression on Neal's face as he watched the lab lick and suck at the disgusting thing. It set her off again, and Peter too.
Neal just stood there, looking from the dog, to the can, to Peter and Elizabeth and back to the dog. He wondered if Satchmo would prefer brie.
Author:
elrhiarhodan Rating: PG (for a kiss)
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke, P/E/N, Satchmo Burke
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None, and I mean NONE.
Word Count: ~750
Summary: Originally written for the Fic Recognition Meme, for
afiawri . She asked me to identify the line: “El and Neal kissing is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, there is a perfection to them that makes something within him burst with joy, each and every time..” (From Insure The Common Defense - Part IV of The Preamble, Redux)Peter couldn't help but realize that Neal seems a little, well, off. He'd been quiet all weekend, seemingly buried in his own thoughts. Elizabeth noticed too - and she picked up on the strange looks Neal had been giving them ever since cleaning up after dinner on Friday night.
Peter wanted to confront Neal, he doesn't like the idea of secrets between them. El, however, thought it best to let Neal come to them. So Peter followed her advice and stewed. Neal’s been quiet, unwilling to talk to Peter, pushing him off politely. It wasn’t like the time that Neal thought Peter was hiding Kate - there were no sharp comments, no vaguely threatening asides. Neal just seemed to have withdrawn into himself.
Neal’s strange behavior continued through the work week, even to the point where Neal declined Peter's invitation to lunch on Tuesday, and then to dinner the next night. He talked with El - and neither of them could pinpoint any reason for Neal’s conduct. By Thursday, they were both worried. Was Neal breaking up with them, had they don't something wrong, or worse - was Neal getting himself into trouble?
When Friday rolled around, Peter wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, and as he was leaving, he practically dragged Neal from his desk and into his car. Neal was still unnaturally quiet, but he wasn't angry or evasive or squirrelly. Just not inclined to chat.
He followed Peter into the house, gave Elizabeth a warm and welcoming kiss with lots of tongue and a little biting, just the way she liked it. Peter, on the other hand, didn’t get much of anything.
Fed up and more than a little hurt, Peter pushed Neal onto the couch, and was prepared to tackle him if he tried to leave. "Okay - Neal, what gives? You've been treating me like I've had bad breath all week." Suddenly horrified, Peter breathed into his hand and sniffed - nope, his breath was just fine.
Neal bit his lip and wouldn't look Peter in the eye. A sure sign of a guilty mind.
"Neal - what did you do?"
Neal muttered something.
"What? I didn't hear that."
"I didn't DO anything." Neal's voice was sharp in the quietness of the room.
El stepped in, Peter's bullying wasn't going to get them anywhere. She sat down on the other side of Neal and brushed her hand through his hair and he relaxed into her caress.
"Honey - whatever it is, you can tell us."
Neal blinked at her and shook his head.
"Yes, you can." Peter tone had softened, and he patted Neal's knee.
Neal relented. "Okay. Last Friday night, I discovered about something about you, something that bothers me. I'll tell you - and you have to promise to stop this behavior. Both of you."
Peter looked at his wife, puzzled. What could Neal have found to make him so unhappy about with THEM? El looked back at him, equally confused.
Neal got up from the couch and Peter and Elizabeth followed him into the kitchen. Neal opened the refrigerator door, reached in a pulled out...
A can of spray cheese.
Neal slammed the offending processed food product onto the counter. "I can put up with the deviled ham, the down market Heisler Gold beer, and even the Sugar O's - but this … this is beyond the pale, even for you." Neal glared at Peter. And then turned to Elizabeth. “How could you even let this into your house? Of all things?”
Elizabeth started giggling, and couldn't stop. Peter's lips twitched and he started laughing too. As the Burkes became incoherent, Neal just stood there, suddenly feeling like the butt of a bad joke. Finally, Peter got control of himself and went to the cabinet that housed Satchmo's food. He retrieved a hollowed out bone, took the can of spray cheese and filled the inside. Hearing the familiar sound of his treat being prepared, Satch burst into the kitchen, tail wagging and tongue lolling in a happy doggie grin. Peter gave him the cheese filled bone, and Satchmo went to work.
Elizabeth stopped laughing just long enough to wipe the tears from her eyes and see the appalled expression on Neal's face as he watched the lab lick and suck at the disgusting thing. It set her off again, and Peter too.
Neal just stood there, looking from the dog, to the can, to Peter and Elizabeth and back to the dog. He wondered if Satchmo would prefer brie.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-07 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-09 12:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-07 10:23 pm (UTC)This was adorable. So, Neal's going to try and up the dog's taste in food? And then, I suppose Neal will have to clean up the results of trying to up the dog's taste in food.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-09 12:31 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed!
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Date: 2010-08-07 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-09 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 12:03 am (UTC)Love and cherries,
Wingstar
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Date: 2010-08-09 01:07 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2010-08-08 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-09 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-09 01:09 pm (UTC)I was trying...and glad I suceeded
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Date: 2010-08-08 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 03:18 am (UTC)Then the snorting with laughter part. Oh Neal.
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Date: 2010-08-08 06:21 am (UTC)This was cute & funny, and I rather like the idea of Neal setting out on a (doomed!) crusade to get the Burke household to live up to his idea of a high quality lifestyle.
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Date: 2010-08-08 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-09 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-25 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 05:52 pm (UTC)And besides, I bet he's embarrassed to be so, excuse the pun, cheesed off!
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Date: 2011-10-07 06:19 am (UTC)I was laughing loud enough to scare the cat.
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Date: 2011-10-13 02:52 pm (UTC)This is a favorite of mine. I don't often write humor and I can't really say what inspired me (other than a friend who does this for her dogs).
Thank you!