White Collar Ficlet - Car Talk (a/k/a The Missing Spanking Scene, Part I)

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: Car Talk
Author: elrhiarhodan 
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke, Diana Berrigan, Moz
Spoilers: 2.04
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Discussion of Spanking
Word Count: ~400
Summary: Missing Scene from By The Book.  Originally written for the Fic Recognition Meme, for daria234 , because I couldn’t identify the line “The thought of Peter Burke, sex machine, is frankly disturbing.” (From The Don’t Have A Clue)

ETA:  I should note, there is a joke hidden in this ficlet.  Double bonus points for the reader who gets it.  The only hint I'll give is that a knowledge of Tim DeKay's prior work will help.
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Moz was ensconced in the back seat of the Taurus, next to the Lady Suit. He liked her hat and her taste in shoes, and she certainly had more style than the Pants Suit. He sort of smiled at her, and though she tried to look stern and angry, like The Suit, she couldn't quite hide the merriment in her eyes. Moz had a feeling about her, that maybe she was one of those really rare creatures - a Good Suit...

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"What the hell were you thinking, Neal?" Peter's fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard, the stitching was cutting into his skin. "I thought, after everything, you'd at least call me. Let me know what you were doing. Let me help you." He turned to look at Neal, and the auto-braking feature activated as the Taurus nearly rear ended a yellow cab.

Neal's chin was tucked against his chest, and he looked like a five-year-old about to get a spanking. "I didn't think you'd take Moz seriously - I wanted to bring you something concrete that Gina was kidnapped."

"When we get done with this, don't think you're going to get away scott-free..." This time, Peter kept his eyes on the road, but his voice was low and menacing. "You might want to invest in a nice soft cushion for your office chair. You'll be needing it."

Startled, Neal turned to look back at Mozzie, who was happily explaining the relationship between the Council on Foreign Affairs and the Bilderburger Society to Diana. She looked fascinated. And amused.

"Don't worry, Neal. They can't hear us. The acoustics in the Taurus are so bad, it's better than the Cone of Silence."

A lot of things were better than the Cone of Silence, so Neal leaned over the console and whispered in Peter's ear, "Can I take my pants off first? Better yet, can we both take our pants off?"


The Smut Picks Up in Just What He Deserves, a/k/a The Missing Spanking Scene Part II

Comments

[smokexscribbles.livejournal.com]

I think that the Taurus should become the utility belt of the series. It will always have a feature to get them out of any situation.

This was cute, I liked it. :D

[elrhiarhodan]

You shouldn't inspire me like that. Now I want to do a whole series of Taurus to the Rescue snippets. Which would be a really cool thing, esp. since I have "Vehicular" on my Kink Bingo card.

I am glad you liked it.

[smokexscribbles.livejournal.com]

/ninja inspires

I'm tricking you into writing this Taurus series if it's the last thing I do!

[elrhiarhodan]

No need to trick me...I'm gonna do it. It's already a note in my "Plot Bunnies" moleskein.

[smokexscribbles.livejournal.com]

Mwahaha!

[wingstarvegeta.livejournal.com]

*snicker* Oh yeah. Will beg and grovel for more!

Love and cherries,
Wingstar

[elrhiarhodan]

No need to beg, there's always more fic.

I can't seem to stop writing!

[jrosemary.livejournal.com]

This is darling! Love that Moz is, ah, enlightening Diana with his conspiracy theories. And By the Book desperately needs a reference to Peter spanking Neal!

I also loved the nod to Get Smart. And I won't object if you proceed to the scene with Peter spanking Neal, with or without pants. ;)

[elrhiarhodan]

YAY - you got it!

If you go play on my meme, I'll write an erev yontif fic for you. Or something cractastic involving deli meat (I have something in mind and am looking for an excuse to write it).

[jrosemary.livejournal.com]

You're on! I'd love an erev yontif fic--I am, however, a vegetarian, lol, so I'm skeptical about the deli meat. (But if anyone can make deli meat work for me, it would be you!)

Now, which meme? The choose a quote from one of your stories? That sounds like fun . . .

[elrhiarhodan]

The deli meat thing will be nothing more than a drabble - 200 words max. The erev yontif will be longer...and may actually have plot.

Both are in my plot bunnies master list. So beware!

[daniel-shadow.livejournal.com]

Oh my!! LOL. Never lay down a challenge to Neal!!

[elrhiarhodan]

Never - not if you want to keep your special Quantico pen, your wallet or your sanity!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Chuckle. If cars could talk...

I like the notion of Mozzie appreciating Diana.

I like the thought of what Neal and Peter will son be up to, too.

[elrhiarhodan]

Yeah...

Neal bareassed, Peter bareassed. El on the speakerphone.

Loud slapping sounds and lots of moaning.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Nice mental images. All of them.

[elrhiarhodan]

Just to keep you up to date ...you don't have to imagine the spanking scene. I ended up writing it.

Here it is - Just What He Deserves

[ladygray99]

*eg* Snerk!

[elrhiarhodan]

Hehehe

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

Hee! *gleefully imagines the spanking*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I read it last night - happily! Thank you! I particularly liked the way you included El.

[shea.livejournal.com]

This is a very exciting start! Somehow it's not hard to imagine Neal liking the idea of getting a spanking from Peter, even if he does need a cushion afterwards!

[cookiegirl]

So cute! :) I love how Neal's first reaction isn't to try and get out of it, but to make sure it's as hot as possible!