elrhiarhodan

Title: One Hundred and Six Ficlets – Three Sentence A/Us
Author:

elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: G through NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Sara Ellis, Clinton Jones, June Ellington, Mozzie, Reese Hughes, Diana Berrigan, Satchmo, Bugsy, Vincent Adler, Matthew Keller, Gordon Taylor, Byron Ellington, Bradfor (Ford) Tolman; Peter/Neal, Peter/Elizabeth, Peter/Elizabeth/Neal, Peter/Mozzie, Neal/Keller, Neal/Adler, Neal/Mozzie, Neal/Sara, Mozzie/Keller, June/Byron, Mozzie/Sara
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Non-Con, Dub-Con, Murder, Animal Sex (not beastiality), Death of canon characters, Power Imbalance, Coercion. Possibly others – if you are easily triggered, proceed with caution
Word Count: ~9000
Beta Credit:

sinfulslasher
Summary: Last May, I did a three-sentence A/U prompt meme, where I asked readers to give me an A/U prompt and a pairing or character. The challenge was to write a complete story in three sentences. All told, I filled 106 prompts. Some of these are tiny tags to existing fics, others are clearly the start of something major.

The prompts range from crossovers and fusions to historical a/us to some very creative and challenging scenarios. Thank you to everyone who left prompts for me, I hope you have a chance to enjoy all of these again.

__________________

elrhiarhodan – Peter/Neal, Pigeons

“Come Neal, you said you wanted to have sex in public. This way, we can do it right in the park at midday and no one will care.”

“But as pigeons, Peter?”

elrhiarhodan – June and Mozzie, Vampire A/U

"Mistress, why are you unhappy?"

"The young man upstairs is Type AB-negative. I specifically told you I was in the mood for O-positive."

dreamsofspike – Peter/El/Neal – Master/Slave AU

"What should we do with him?" El's voice was full of compassion; the slave kneeling at her feet was a bruised and bloody mess.

Neal sighed and tried not to let his revulsion show. "We heal him, make him feel safe, have him learn to trust us, then we make a decision as to his long-term status."

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal, Zombie Apocalypse

"Axe – check, guns – check, holy water – check...we missing anything?" Peter double-checked the list.

"Don't know – when I signed on as a CI, it was for white collar crime, not defending New York against the zombie apocalypse."

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Professor/Student

Neal bit his lip and gave Peter the up-from-under look that never failed. "So, what do I have to do to get an A in statistics?"

Peter smirked and leaned back in his chair, his thighs spread wide, and said, "You can start by putting that dirty mouth on my cock and swallowing my come."

dizzydrea – Peter/Neal – Pirates/Privateers AU

"As a cabin boy, you're barely adequate. My boots haven't been shined, my hat hasn't been brushed, I can't remember when you last cleaned my pistols."

Neal looked up from the book he was reading, Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition, and said, "Well, I really don't think those were the principle duties of cabin boys."

kanarek13 – Peter/Neal – Construction Workers

Neal couldn't believe he'd gotten a job shifting rubble from a knocked-down old hotel, but it beat cleaning toilets for minimum wage. He was outside, it was springtime in New York, and the crew boss, Peter Burke, was a fair-minded man.

He was also the hottest thing Neal had ever seen in suspenders, low-slung and dirty jeans, work boots and a too-tight tee shirt that showed off his nipples like diamonds in a Tiffany setting.

dreamsofspike – Neal/El(/Peter) – AU where Neal and El are married, brilliant thieves and Peter's the agent trying to catch them

"Damn, I'm really getting pissed off at that Agent Burke – this is the third time we've had to leave a really great place because he's managed to figure we're the ones responsible."

Neal kissed his wife's pouting lips, slipping in a little bit of tongue in an attempt to soothe her ruffled feathers. "El, hon – just think of this as a very long game of cat and mouse, only we're the cats and that oh-so-delicious Agent Burke is our mouse, and we're going to let him chase us until we catch him."

daria234 – Peter/Mozzie, Last Two People On Earth

"Well, Suit – at least it's not cold and we don't have to huddle for warmth."

Peter looked up at the bright red sky and sighed. Getting stuck with Moz as the world came to an end was a hell of a lot better than being alone when that happened.

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Werewolves (Pack Dynamics)

"Just because you can lick your balls when you're not furry doesn't make you Alpha wolf," Peter growled.

"You're just jealous," Neal countered, looking up from his "grooming" and fixing Peter with a bright blue stare. "You just want to be Alpha so you can lick my balls whenever you want."

daria234 – Peter/Neal, 18th century France (bonus if they invent or ride in a hot air balloon)

Neal leaned over and kissed Peter, long and deep, not caring that the other man's embrace would spoil his maquillage. "Mon cher, up here in the clouds, we can be free to express our amour in the bright light of day."

Peter broke the kiss, wiped Neal's lip rouge from his own lips and replied with typical practicality, "Except that a vast crowd has turned out to observe the theft of the Montgolfier, and many, undoubtedly, have spyglasses."

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Pretty Woman AU

Peter tried not to smile. "Nick" or whatever his name was, was trying so hard to impress him. He took the champagne bottle out of the man's shaking hands and leaned in, whispering, "I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing."

daria234 – Peter/Neal, Renaissance Florence with Neal as an artist

Mozzie whined, "But he's just a condottiere, a hired mercenary in the company of the Duke of Sforza, why the hell would you want him to pose for you?"

"Because Peter Burke is built like a god, he's the living embodiment of Hercules and would be the perfect subject for the new painting that Il Magnifico has commissioned."

Moz took a sip of wine and considered his friend before replying, "You also want him to fuck you, so be careful."

dizzydrea – Peter/El/Neal – Regency AU

Peter tried not to stare so obviously, he tried not to be jealous as Elizabeth danced with the Earl of Bennett, and the two of them together were so beautiful it nearly broke his heart.

The quadrille ended with flourish, and Lord Neal bent low over Elizabeth's hand. Peter at least had the pleasure of viewing the Earl's tight buttocks as they were framed by his coattails.

moonflowerkc – Peter/Neal, Someone hurt Neal. Here comes Peter

Peter was furious, his rage was magnificent, terrifying, and everyone kept their distance. He stood over Neal, snorting heavily through his nostrils, his still-glossy coat twitching, his hooves pawing at the ground until Neal got to his feet, apparently recovered from his trauma.

They might be retired circus ponies, but no one, not even a damn bumblebee, would hurt Neal if he had his way.

(A mini timestamp for Out to Pasture)

aragarna – Peter and Neal, Back to the Future

Neal stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around at the crowd, feeling both disgusted and out of place amongst the men in polyester leisure suits. Not to mention the proliferation of facial hair and frizzy perms.

"You know, Peter, I was kind of surprised that you let Mozzie install that flux capacitor into the BMW, but I really didn't think that you'd pick 1978 as your first journey back in time."

nieseryjna – Peter/El, Neal – Role Reversal – Neal FBI

Neal leaned back against Diana's desk, watching as the boss introduced the division's new CI to the rest of the agents. Capturing Peter Burke, once the world's greatest con artist, had been the crowning achievement in Reese Hughes' storied career.

Diana smirked and said, "Keep your tongue in your mouth, he's straight as a ruler – rumor has it he busted out of maximum security with three months left on a four-year sentence because his wife skipped out on him."

ultracape – Peter/Neal – AU Renaissance, Neal is a priest, Peter is a soldier of fortune

For the last time, Neal removed the silk skull cap, his heavily embroidered vestments, the velvet slippers, and lastly the black silk cassock; he left on the small gold crucifix his mother had given him before his ordination.

Peter, the condottiere he'd hired to take him to safety after he'd performed his last funeral mass, was staring at him with hungry eyes.

Neal sighed; at least this trip into exile wouldn't be as lonely as he thought it would be.

ultracape – Peter/Neal AU Bewitched – Neal is Sam, Peter is Darren

"I swear, Neal – next time you twitch your nose, I'm going to ..." Peter didn't finish the sentence; he was too busy trying to herd cats – literally.

"Peter, I swear it was just an itch – I didn't mean to fill the conference room with kittens!"

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Neal is a high profile witness. Peter is his police protection detail

Neal was bored and cranky and ready to climb the walls of the safe house, but he'd made a promise to a dead friend to see this through, despite the million dollar contract out on his head.

"Mozzie would be proud of you, you know – he might not have trusted the system, but he trusted you to do the right thing."

Neal bit his lip and nodded, not wanting Detective Burke to see how much those words affected him.

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Fairy Tale AU

"I am so sorry my father lied, but I can't spin straw into gold."

Peter looked at his frightened young husband; the man was shaking with terror as if he waited for him to strike the fatal blow.

"Oh, I don't care about that; your mouth on my cock is a lot more important to me than an endless stream of riches."

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Neal is secretly an alien from outer space

Neal looked at Peter stretched out naked, face down on his bed, and smiled; this was going to be so easy, so enjoyable.

He unzipped his pants and let his primary tentacle extend outwards. It hesitated just a moment over Peter's ass before heading to his ear and delivering its payload.

sinfulslasher – Neal and Satchmo, Kink

"So, what do you say to a threesome, Neal? You, me, and the poodle bitch who lives across the street?"

"Satchmo, my boy, I hate to tell you, but since you've been neutered, that thing doesn't work like it used to."

sinfulslasher – Peter/El/Neal – Soul Bonding

"Oh, oh, OH!" El looked from her husband to Neal and back to her husband, wonder and arousal making her cheeks hot. The soul bond was brilliant and painful, and she wondered how long she could last before telling Peter about how much Neal desired him.

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal (or Peter and Neal) – high school AU

"Come on, Peter, we're going to be late, the limo's already here."

Peter straightened his bow-tie and looked at his boyfriend, who was practically bouncing with impatience. "Hold your horses, we're the Prom Kings and it's not like they can start without us."

theatregirl7299 – Neal/Keller/Gordon Taylor – War Stories

"Remember that time – you know, when we got drunk and tried to steal the Crown Jewels?" Neal kicked at Matthew's feet, but the man was too busy ogling their companion.

Gordon didn't seem to notice Matthew's fascination as he refilled his glass and then said with a smile, "Why don't you tell me about it?"

theatregirl7299 – Hughes/Mozzie – Partners in Crime

Mozzie sighed and looked at his brother in annoyance, then said, "You were a spook and a Suit and you expect me to believe you when tell me you don’t know how to do a 'farmer's pass'?"

"I might have been a 'spook' and a 'suit', but as an agent of the U.S. government, I was not involved in activities that would require knowledge of such techniques."

Moz sniffed and said nothing; he knew better.

theatregirl7299 – Peter/Neal – Speed dating

Peter wished that he'd never let El talk him into this speed dating event; he had much better things to do than listen to some twink looking for a sugar daddy try and convince him that chocolate-flavored lube was god's gift to mankind.

"Hi, I'm Neal."

Peter looked up and found what really was god's gift to mankind standing at his table with a tentative smile on his face.

pipilj – Peter and Neal – Private Detectives

Peter toyed with his cigarette lighter, wishing for the millionth time that he hadn't quit smoking. His partner was equally fidgety, which surprised Peter. This wasn't the first time they'd gone undercover in a gay bar to do surveillance.

maiac – Peter, Neal, and Diana: Ghost Hunters

"The readings are off the chart, boss – it looks like we've got a live one."

Neal said with chuckle, "Di, I think in this case you mean 'a dead one'."

Peter shushed the junior members of the team and admonished, "Keep it up and we'll never see the ghost of Vincent Adler."

sinfulslasher – Peter and Neal (and El) – Honey, I Shrunk My CI

El sighed and looked at Peter, then said, "Well, I guess he can still be useful to the Bureau."

"I'm not so sure, hon – and it's going to be a problem since the tracker doesn't work anymore."

Neal jumped up and down, waving his arms to get the Burkes' attention, and exclaimed, "Hey guys, I didn't sign up for the remake of Inch High, Private Eye, you know."

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – unicorns

Peter sighed and patiently waited for Neal to bring him his coffee, an endeavor that was bound to end in disaster, which it did. Neal carefully made his way back up to his office, coffee stains darkening that formerly pristine white coat, his head low, his eyes downcast at this latest failure. Peter didn't have the will or the heart to chastise him – not for the attempt or for the failure – it wasn't Neal's fault he got hit with the Unicorn flu.

sinfulslasher – Neal (and Peter and/or Mozzie) – bubble wrap

Pop … pop … popopopopopopopopopopopop.

"Guys, please – either be useful or go away."

The endless, annoying sounds continued in stereo as both Peter and Moz ignored him and continued mangling endless quantities of bubble wrap.

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal -- Ranch Hands

Hot and exhausted, Peter lifted his hat up and wiped the dirt and sweat from his face with a filthy bandana.

Neal, the greenhorn who'd attached himself to him like a prickle burr in a sheep's fleece, held out his canteen, and said, "Here, you look like you could use some of this."

Peter took the water gratefully, and he'd be certain to show his gratitude to the kid tonight, when he'd make him almost come a half dozen times before taking his pleasure with that full, perfect ass.

sinfulslasher – Mozzie and anyone – fortune teller

"You will follow the dark roads and you will be friends with many, but truly close to no one."

Mozzie shivered – it had been nearly twenty years since he had his fortune told and he'd never forgotten the old crone's words. He just reminded himself that she was wrong; after all, he had Neal – and by extension, the Suit, Mrs. Suit and all the Demi-Suits to watch his back.

sinfulslasher – Team – Robin Hood and the Merry Men

"Okay, boss – we've got the target in sight, and it's parked in front of Midtown Mutual," Diana told Peter before giving Mozzie the go-ahead.

The little guy was going to create the distraction while Peter and Neal and Jones took care of the guards before making off with the truck. The money – all of it ill-gotten gains by the Adler Corporation – would be quietly disbursed to hundreds of small and deserving charities throughout the New York area.

sinfulslasher – Peter and Neal (or Peter/Neal) – Kraken

As Neal sauntered through the bullpen, clearly dressed for the night's undercover operation, Peter grew dizzy as the blood rushed from his brain. Neal was wearing ancient, skin-tight Levi's – so tight that it was clear to anyone who looked (and you had to look) – that he had some genetic connection with elephants.

Or sea monsters.

dreamsofspike Peter/Neal/El – "Being Human" AU

Neal didn't like being dead, but at least he was a ghost and that meant he still got a chance to spend some quality time with the people he loved. A woman who needed to drink blood and her husband who turned into a big, bad-ass wolf-man every month.

It was a pity that they couldn't touch him the way he needed.

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Time Travel

"You ever hear of the 'Butterfly Effect', Neal?"

"Of course I have, Peter – a butterfly flaps its wings in the rainforest in the Amazon and it stirs a breeze that becomes a typhoon in the south Pacific – it's all about sensitive dependency on initial conditions."

"Bear that in mind and touch nothing; we're going back to 1501 to watch the investment of Copernicus as canon of Frauenberg Cathedral and if you so much a sneeze, you might end up becoming my grandfather."

dreamsofspike – Peter/Neal – Medieval AU

Peter steadied his horse, hefted his lance, and stared down the jousting list, grateful that the narrow eye slits in his helmet didn't afford him any peripheral vision. Just knowing that Prince Neal was sitting in the stands with his affianced bride was enough of a distraction. He only hoped that he'd do well enough in this tourney to garner His Highness' private attention tonight.

wickhouse2005 – Peter adopts baby Neal

"Shhh, Neal, shhh, please stop crying, you're breaking my heart," Peter all but begged the squalling infant he was cradling in his arms. Miraculously, the baby closed his little rosebud mouth, blinked those incredible blue eyes and gave a little burble before snuggling against his chest and falling asleep.

At that, Peter's heart did break and he only wished that the baby's father was still alive to witness this display of utter trust.

wickhouse2005 – Slave Neal is given his freedom. Does he stay or go?

Neal weighed the slave collar in his hand; as a thing – it felt so light, almost without mass or heft – but after wearing it around his neck for four years, he knew just how heavy it was. Maybe it was the absence of a lock, or the fact that it was now nothing more than a strip of leather and plastic without the power to hurt him that made it so weightless.

He tossed it into the trash and a big part of him wished that he could get rid of this ridiculous affection for his former master just as easily.

ultracape – AU Peter/Neal – Superman – Neal is Lois

Peter pulled off his glasses and not for the first time cursed both the demise of the telephone booth and the lack of alleyways in Manhattan. He needed to get rid of this stupid Brooks Brothers suit, but there was no privacy anywhere, anymore.

Damn Neal for constantly getting into trouble and needing to be rescued.

ultracape – AU White Collar – Neal/Mozzie/Peter – Neal and Mozzie are really agents of Mossad looking to return the Nazi loot

"You seriously expect me to believe that your actual name is Nuriel Ben Canaan and he's really Moshe Weitzman?"

Nuriel shrugged. "I don't care what you believe; Peter, but Moshe and I are taking the treasure back to Tel Aviv, even if we have to step over your dead body to do it."

pipilj – Peter and Neal are doctors.

"I'm sorry, Neal – she knew that the odds weren't in her favor when she agreed to the surgery."

Peter placed a hand on his colleague's back, trying to console him.

Neal steadied himself against the now-empty operating table and tried not to think about the friend whose life he failed to save.

sheenianni - Neal and Mozzie, Babysitting

Neal handed Theo a block and thanked the little boy when he handed it right back to him. "I love kids at this age, so sweet and generous and open to new experiences."

Mozzie looked up from his task, sewing patches on the little boy's denim pants, and said, "Of course you do, you're both – emotionally – at the same age."

sheenianni - Sara, Secrets

"Ms. Ellis, you have a visitor and he's most impatient to see you."

Sara stood up, straightened her skin-tight skirt, sniffed under her arms and tried not to seem nervous. She and Moz had been carrying on in secret almost as long as she'd known him, and now that Neal had declared himself in love with the Burkes (finally), they decided it was time to make their relationship public.

sheenianni - June/Ford/Byron – The last score

June settled into the pilot's seat, Byron was at the navigator's console and Ford, that rascal, was in the Falcon's aft gun turret. Diverting the shipment of Aurodium ingots from its intended recipient, Nem'ro the Hutt, might just get them all killed. But if they got away clean, it would be their last score and they could buy a whole damn planet and retire.

Anonymous – Mozzie and Neal, Puppy

Moz knew the story that Neal had told the Suit about their first meeting, a fairly plausible tale about a game of Find the Lady in Madison Square Park. The truth was far from plausible, especially since it involved drunken (him) puppy purchasing, a forged grimoire (Neal) and a pet shop-cum-bootleg DVD store in Hell's Kitchen.

No, it was better that Neal lied, since neither of them wanted to spend the rest of their days as guests of the psych ward at Bellevue.

A tiny timestamp to this story

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – squirrels

Peter raced up and down the branches of the big oak tree in the park, furiously, futilely chasing after that damn acorn thief. The little gray squirrel had managed, yet again, to find his way into Peter's stash and make off with the plumpest nuts.

He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, and to his utter delight, Neal slowly approached and dropped one of the purloined acorns right at his feet – a love gift if ever there was.

sinfulslasher – Peter or Neal or El or whoever really – Glam Rock

"Hold still, damn it – you don't want to end up with this crap in your eyes," Moz warned as he flitted around Neal with an airbrush and a jar of glitter.

Neal sat patiently while his friend fitted him with an electric blue wig – the final touch in his appalling costume. He wondered, when had it become all about his appearance, instead of about the music?

sinfulslasher – Team – circus

Matthew tossed his top hat onto the floor and stripped off the traditional ring-master's red coat, shouting, "I quit, I just can't take it anymore!"

Elizabeth, the owner of the Mitchell Family Circus, didn't bother looking up from her copy of "Big Top Monthly"; she'd been through the man's snits many times before. "If I promise to replace Peter and Neal with a more child-friendly act for the matinees, will you reconsider?"

Another tiny timestamp to this story

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – whipping boy

Neal rested his head on his Master's knee and breathed deeply, the scent of well-worn leather and hot man filling his nose; for the first time in half of a lifetime, he found himself longing to submit.

"No, Neal – you aren't ready yet," Peter whispered to him as he stroked his curls with a gloved hand. "Your body may be healed, but your mind and your heart still have a long way to go."

A timestamp to A Familiar Command

sinfulslasher – Satchmo and Bugsy – forbidden love

"Hey there, Satchmo – how are they hanging?"

Satch sighed and looked at the tiny, annoying pug who wouldn't leave him alone. "If you really want to know, come over here and let me sit on your face."

sinfulslasher – Mozzie – aliens

Moz lifted his glass and took a sip of the fine vintage (a Brunello, and one of Neal's, naturally). The creature sitting across from him mimicked the action precisely, even down to the counterclockwise swirl of the wine and the little sniff he took before actually taking a drink.

Moz did have to wonder, though, how this life form from outer space managed to actually drink when it didn't seem to have a mouth.

sapphire2309 – Neal/Sara or any – Cinderella.

Sara pushed her sisters into the ash-filled fireplace, she dumped the bucket of slops over her step-mother's head and stood in the middle of the kitchen, glaring at her so-called 'family', and said, "I'm done with all of you, you can fend for yourselves."

She then turned to Prince Neal, who stood there like an ineffectual idiot, carrying that stupid glass slipper, and let her temper really fly. "And if you think, after twelve years of being the unpaid servant to these bitches, I'm going to meekly ride off into the sunset with you as your 'bride,' you'd better think again."

sinfulslasher – Mozzie – garden gnomes

El and Peter were very appreciative of his gift, but little did they know the true purpose of the Ri Stone. Mozzie had heard through his connections at the "Green House" that there was an infestation in a certain shipment of Dutch tulips, the very kind that Mrs. Suit had planted in her tiny garden.

Moz didn't want to think about what would happen to Suit and Mrs. Suit without his protection – those garden gnomes with their hundreds of sharp pointed teeth and their insatiable lust for blood and human flesh couldn't simply be warded off with cold iron.

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – space husbands

Neal turned off the television and turned to Peter, a triumphant tone in his voice, as he said, "You can't tell me that Spock wasn't jealous of that girl when she was all over Kirk."

"He might have been jealous, but there was far more chemistry between Spock and McCoy in 'Conscience of the King' than there was between Spock and Kirk in all of Season One."

Neal sniffed and turned the television back on; the next episode in the TOS marathon, 'Balance of Terror' would more than prove to Peter that Kirk and Spock were the true space husbands.

sinfulslasher – Author's Choice – There Can Be Only One (aka Highlander fusion)

"Neal, put down the sword and let's talk about this like rational men."

Neal didn't lower his guard, but he paused for a moment to catch his breath, before he said, "If I don't take your head, you're going to take mine – and eventually, Diana's going to take both of ours. There can be only one, remember?"

sheenianni - Neal/Sara, Art lessons

Neal wondered how he ended up agreeing to teach the Princess Sara how to draw. He was an engraver and print-maker by trade, not a teacher. But when the girl's father, his Most Serene Highness, commanded, Neal had no choice but to obey.

sheenianni - Peter and Mozzie, Treasure hunt

"It's not here, damn it!" Mozzie leaned on his shovel, checked the map and his GPS device before looking at the hole he'd just spent the last few hours digging. He raised his fist to the sky and couldn't help but declaim in overly dramatic tones, "Damn you, Peter Burke, damn you and your crappy geocaching skills!"

sheenianni - Diana, family

According to her FBI file, Diana Berrigan was the daughter of a diplomat. She worked with that cover for so long that most of the time, it felt like the truth. She always wondered, though, what her colleagues would say if they knew that her mother was really Hippolyte, Queen of the Amazons.

sinfulslasher – Mozzie or Neal – magician

"And now for my next trick, sawing my beautiful assistant in half!"

Mozzie the Magnificent, who may or may not have been born as "Teddy Winters", held out his hand to his beautiful assistant. Neal's palm was sweaty and as Moz helped him into the trick's apparatus, he whispered, "Nothing to worry about, I've been practicing and there won't be a repeat of last week's mistakes."

sinfulslasher – Peter/El/Neal – harem

"He's awfully pretty, but aren’t the pretty ones usually kind of dumb?" Yvonne noted, ogling the young man who just poured a glass of wine for her.

El leaned back on the cushions, held out her foot to the man kneeling in front of her, and he immediately started massaging it. She sighed in pleasure and finally answered Yvonne's question, "Yes, but Neal is as smart as Peter here, because looks without brains is a real turn-off for me."

sinfulslasher – Neal and anyone – New York fashion week

Peter watched the models glide down the runway and tried to stifle a bored yawn when El, his editor, jabbed an elbow into his ribs and hissed, "Pay attention."

He tried, he really tried, but it wasn't until the designer, Nic Haldyn, walked out with a model on each arm to take a triumphant bow that Peter sat up and took notice. Haldyn might be the fashion world's newest darling, pushing the boundaries of good taste with his androgynous BDSM-themed collection, but Peter Burke knew that he was really Neal Caffrey, small-time grifter and champion cock-sucker.

coffeethyme4me – El/Diana -- sex club

"Have you been a good girl or a bad girl?" Diana swished her cat-o'nine-tails over Elizabeth Burke's upraised bottom before letting it slide between her legs to tease at the woman's bare sex.

El rocked back and forth on the bed, trying to get closer, harder contact with the leather strands, before finally replying, "It depends – I've been very good at sucking cock and I've been very bad because the cock I've been sucking isn't my husband's."

theatregirl7299 – Keller/Peter – Die Hard

"You'd have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Keller."

"Oh, yes. What was it you said to me before, Burke – yippee ki-yay, motherfucker?"

Peter shot Matthew Keller right between the eyes, and looking down at the dead man's corpse, he retorted, "Maybe not a cowboy, more like a lily-livered coward."

theatregirl7299 – Peter/Neal – late night radio request line.

"And we're spinning the oldies and taking requests on K-JOY 98, so call in and tell me what you want to hear tonight, all night until the sun rises on the horizon."

The switchboard lit up with just a single call and Peter answered, hoping that it would be the smooth talker who'd been reaching out to him in the middle of the night, every night for the past month.

"Can you play 'Chances Are' because it gives me hope that someday I'll have a chance with you."

theatregirl7299 – Mozzie and Jones – visit to the Sex shop

"How about this one?"

Clinton cringed as Moz, his occasional lover and fellow appreciant of the fine art of giving pain, picked up a butt plug as big as his fist. It wasn't the size that made him a little ill, but the bright green and purple stripes with the embedded glitter that was pushing the boundaries of bad taste.

ultracape – Neal/Peter AU – The Greatest American Hero

Neal tugged on the bright red suit, slipped on the ridiculous boots, attached the cape and adjusted his junk before it got strangled by the Lycra. He looked in the mirror and sighed, thinking that every little boy dreamed of being Superman, not The Greatest American Hero.

It was a pity that his lover and best friend had a fetish for bad '80s television and a secret crush on Robert Culp.

ultracape – Peter/Neal – Hansel and Gretel

Peter held onto Neal's hand as they made their way through the woods, hoping to find shelter for the night. The smaller boy was shivering but he put up a brave front; their parents might have disowned them, but at least they had each other.

And it looked like they might even have shelter for the night; there was a small cottage ahead, and it looked – quite improbably – like it was made from gingerbread and candy.

ultracape – Neal/Peter – Cavemen – Neal has etchings

Peter looked at the artwork that Neal was so clearly proud of and scratched his armpit – the new leopard pelt that El made him wear wasn't all that comfortable. "Can you tell me how, given that we barely understand the fracture physics of flint napping and how to cure the hides of Bison bonasus so they don't decay, that you've managed to smelt copper and tin to make bronze, mill the resulting ingots into fine sheets, coat the sheets with pitch, carve these wonderfully distinctive designs into them with a hardened steel (steel, which requires refining iron at temperatures we can't really get from burning wood) tool that's sharper than any weapon we have by an order of magnitude, then distill hydrochloric acid to burn those lines into the metal – all without burning or blinding yourself – then create solvents to remove the pitch, brew multicolored inks that are fine enough to pool in the engraved lines, PLUS create parchment to print this on?"

Neal shoved his hands into the pockets of his own perfectly tailored leopard-skin pelt, rocked back on his heels and replied, "Dunno, and when you put it like that, it makes me seem like my art is nothing but a foolish anachronism, and I have no clue that proto-humans from 15,700 years BCE aren't supposed to have the same scientific and technical skills of one who lives in 1650 C.E. and that really hurts my feelings."

sinfulslasher – Neal (and Peter and/or El) – genie in a bottle

For a thousand years, he's been trapped in this vessel, a thousand years of nothingness punctuated by boredom and despair, a thousand years spent in a prison, for no crime other than foolishly loving someone the mad priests said was forbidden.

Neal's reconciles himself to another millennia of loneliness and darkness when the seals on the bottle are broken, light overtakes his senses, and his spirit rushes out of the prison and takes corporeal form.

A man, tall and beautiful, with an expression of deep puzzlement, stands before him and Neal immediately drops to his knees and pledges his heart and his loyalty.

sinfulslasher – Peter (and Neal or Peter/Neal) – Vikings

Inspired by this extremely NSFW image.

Peter impaled Neal on his cock, caring only for his pleasure. The boy was a prize taken during the last raid and there was no one strong enough, fierce enough, man enough to gainsay his claim. He grunted his pleasure, fucking through the heat and tightness, thinking that this is what it truly meant to go 'a-viking'.

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – sugar daddy

Inspired by this extremely NSFW work of art.

When the captain announced that the Learjet had reached cruising altitude and he was free to move around the cabin, Peter Burke leaned back in the leather seat, unbuckled the seatbelt and did the same for his nubile traveling companion.

Neal, with all the grace of an otter in water, slid out of his seat, stripped off his skin-tight shirt to display his perfectly sculpted pecs and abs (and not to mention his pretty pink nipples pierced with Peter's gift of platinum barbells), and dropped to his knees.

Peter smirked and spread his thighs wide, giving the boy full access, and as Neal went to work, wrapping those pretty, pouting lips around his cock, Peter thought that there were definitely perks to being a billionaire.

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal/Adler -- Rentboy

"Come here, Peter, and take a look at my newest purchase."

Peter wasn't particularly interested in spending any time with his business rival, Vincent Adler, but they did business together often enough to know that it would be tedious if Adler took offense at Peter's rudeness.

Watching that pretty face getting choked by Adler's fat cock, tears streaming from his bright blue eyes, Peter wondered if the boy was a permanent addition to Adler's stable or if he could be acquired for the right price.

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal/Keller -- Master/slaves

"Look, Burke – we both want him and getting into a bidding war is counterproductive, so maybe we could come to an … understanding."

Peter gave Keller a narrow-eyed stare, still angry that the little punk had outbid him for that blue-eyed brunette last year, and he was determined not to let the son of a bitch beat him out for this blue-eyed brunet, even if it took everything he had. "I'm not interested in sharing, especially not with you."

coffeethyme4me – (El?/OMC?/OFC?)/Peter/Neal -- bachelor party (and Neal's the party favor)

Peter couldn't understand why Clinton seemed a little ill at ease – after all, this was his bachelor party. "What's the matter, having second thoughts about tying the knot?"

"No, just wondering if Neal's going to be okay to be my best man tomorrow, considering that you've been passing his ass around like a joint at a Grateful Dead concert."

theatregirl7299 – Peter/Neal – Romeo and Juliet.

Peter waited in the wings for his musical cue, an andante marciale, which came on a perfect, bright note. This was a daring – almost heretical – staging of Prokofiev's ballet, with all the roles played by men, as men.

Neal's "Juliet" was already on stage, dancing a gavotte, unaware that he was about to meet his fate.

"Romeo" danced out, a seemingly callow youth, more interested in causing a little havoc, until he came face to face with his one true love.

theatregirl7299 – Peter/Neal – Masseur

Peter set up the massage table, spread out a clean sheet, took out his favorite oils and put them into the warmer – all was ready for his favorite client, the CEO of Caffrey-Bennett Oil and Gas.

Neal walked in and, without comment, shed his robe and climbed onto the table, face up. "After the week I've had, I want dessert first, so let's make it a 'happy ending' and go from there."

theatregirl7299 – Keller/Mozzie – Mt. Everest

Mozzie pushed Keller face down into the hard snow pack and seriously considered slicing the man's snow gear up the inseam, but reconsidered. While it would be a lot easier to get access to the punk's asshole, they were at Basecamp Three and supplies of that nature were limited.

Besides, they were going to attempt the Hillary Step tomorrow and a raw and bleeding Matthew Keller would endanger everyone's life, so he turned the man over and shoved his dick into that unresisting mouth instead.

embroiderama – Neal/Peter – competing chefs/restaurateurs

Mozzie came back, looking slightly squeamish, pulled out a paper bag from under his jacket, and muttered, "The things I do for my friends."

Neal didn't care what ordeals the man had gone through, he only cared about the contents of the bag, which he opened with both care and trepidation.

It was one thing to open up a rival restaurant specializing in traditional American cuisine, it was another thing to deconstruct another chef's Michelin-starred recipes and present them as his own.

embroiderama – Peter/Neal (or Peter and Neal) – author and illustrator

Peter was unaccountably nervous and he chewed on the ragged edge of a thumbnail, waiting for the verdict. Neal Caffrey was not just the current darling of the art world – the flavor of the month – he was so damn talented that Peter thought he'd have given Michelangelo a run for his money, and for the life of him, he couldn't understand why he'd agreed to this project.

Neal closed the folder with the galley proofs of Peter's latest book and let out a sigh, "It's going to be such an honor to work with you, Peter Burke; you've been my favorite author since I was in high school."

sinfulslasher – author's choice – steampunk

Neal picked up the oil can, an exquisitely ornate creation of carved brass and steel, studded with precious gems, and unbuttoned his pants. After a moment's consideration, he stripped completely out of his attire. There were certain advantages to being mechanically augmented – especially in his case – but getting the oil stains out of his clothes was always such a pain.

sinfulslasher – Neal – 18th/19th century poet

He had no intention of dying of consumption in some Parisian garret, in clichéd suffering for his art. Neal Caffrey might be the most celebrated poet of his generation, a darling of literary circles throughout the Continent, and like most literary darlings, he didn't have two sous to rub together. But as Nikolaus Haldyn, he lived as well as, if not better than, the government ministers who denounced his writings as little better than degenerate, inverted pornography.

sinfulslasher – Neal (and/or Peter) – shifter

Neal made sure no one was watching as he bent over and started licking his genitals. It was funny, when he was in his humanoid form, he seriously hated sucking hairy balls, but as a dog, he had no problems licking his own furry testicles.

Pity that Peter wouldn't let him have a go at his, but the man still had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that his best friend and occasional fuck-buddy turned into a Bichon Frise every full moon.

sheenianni - Sara/Alex/Neal – Sharing the prize

Sara tried to maintain a reasonable tone when she said, "We agreed, equal work means equal share."

"I don't recall signing a contract," Alex sniffed and looked at her nails, clearly bored with the conversation.

Neal, who seemed far too comfortable in handcuffs and nothing else, rolled his hips and tried to soothe both redheads, "Ladies, ladies – there's plenty to go around and you don't even have to take turns."

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal/Adler -- Rentboy revisited -- Fucked Out

"I want him back."

Peter looked up from his newspaper, masking his annoyance at the interruption with a bland smile, and calmly replied, "But you can't, Vincent – he's mine, and what's mine I keep." He didn't wait to see if Adler left, his thoughts consumed by the memories of last night, and fucking Neal Caffrey until he screamed, until he passed out, until he begged him to stop and then begged him to never stop.

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal -- wrestlers

They shouldn't have been matched up, Peter Burke outweighed him by at least thirty pounds, but Coach wanted him to move up in weight class and thought it would be a good test for him.

Neal adjusted his helmet and his groin guard before entering the ring; this wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten so up-close-and-personal with the team captain, but there was a difference between getting humped into the mattress in his bedroom and getting humped into the mats in front of his teammates. This time, though, he hoped he wouldn't come like a freight train.

theatregirl7299 – Adler/Neal – 9 1/2 Weeks – (Rentboy Neal continues...)

"Neal, this is Peter and you are to obey his every whim, fulfill his every desire, do whatever he wants, however he wants it."

Neal hoped the loathing he felt for Vincent, the loathing that had been building for the better part of two months, was kept well under wraps. He never imagined, when he accepted that gift of a silk scarf from a handsome and mysterious stranger at a Greenwich Village street fair, that he'd end up being little more than a whore and a slave to that man's selfish lusts.

theatregirl7299 – Jones/Neal – Public bathroom

"Damn it, Clinton, not here!"

Clinton lifted his head from his cock and gave Neal a dirty smirk, then said, "Of all the people in the world who I thought would worry about having sex in the FBI men's room, Neal Caffrey was last on that list."

Neal groaned and pushed his dick back into Clinton's mouth, muttering, "Peter's ASAC and he has the keys to all the doors; you don't."

theatregirl7299 – Keller/Neal – Exhibitionism

Neal pulled Keller's pants down and pushed him against the balcony railing, not caring that it was still daylight and half of Monaco could see them. "You're my boy, Matthew, you're my dirty little boy and, like all dirty little boys, you need to be punished."

Keller didn't say anything, he just stuck his ass out, parted his thighs and fingered himself, waiting for the whistle of the belt, getting impossibly hard in anticipation of that first crack of pain against his ass.

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – Free Food

The waitress was so young and fresh and she was clearly new to their favorite lunch place, as she gushed, "Oh, aren't you the cutest couple and did you know that today is "Husbands Eat Free" day, which means that both of you get to have lunch on the house!"

Peter opened his mouth to correct her but Neal stepped on his foot before he could say anything. The girl bounced away and Neal hissed at him, "She's fresh off the bus from Upper Bumfuck, Idaho and we're probably the first gay people she's ever met – just because you happened to be married to my lover, Elizabeth, doesn't mean you get to be the captain of legal correctness."

sinfulslasher – Peter – Gladiator

He was the champion, the fucking champion of the Empire and even if he was an arena slave, he had earned the respect of the Emperor himself.

A bath slave came with a bottle of oil, a strigil and a frightened smile on his lips, and Peter's cock went instantly hard as iron. Peter didn't even bother to ask if the slave was willing, if he wanted to be fucked by the gods' beloved champion of the Empire; he just bent the boy over the table and took him like he took everything else, like it was his due.

sinfulslasher – Author's Choice – King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table

Sir Clinton and Sir Diana gasped, but Sir Matthew, that blackguard who didn't deserve to sit amongst such august company, snickered, as Sir Neal – a newly made Knight of the Round Table – went to take the only unoccupied seat, the Siege Perilous. Unlike the dozens of other who had tried to sit in that terrible chair, the dozens of good knights who had simply disappeared as if they'd never existed, Sir Neal settled himself comfortably on the red velvet cushion and leaned back, as if it were an ordinary chair and not one destined for the pure-hearted and true seeker of the Holy Grail.

Sir Neal looked at everyone, his gaze running from shocked face to shocked face, and asked, "What, do I have schmutz on my nose?"

kanarek13 – Peter/Neal – Divine

Neal turned his head to face Peter, too fucked out to do more than try to find a cool spot on the pillow, but not too fucked out to ask with a cheeky grin, "Did you know that in some religions, sexual ecstasy is considered a path to divine enlightenment?"

Peter sprawled out over a good three-quarters of the mattress, equally fucked out (though he'd been the one doing the fucking) and he summoned the strength to chuckle, "Between you and my wife, I'm going to either achieve godhead or wither away from your constant demand."

Then he thought about what he had said, and he added with a laugh, "But what a way to go."

kanarek13 – Neal – Hot Shot

Neal stood over the twitching, vomiting soon-to-be corpse of the man he once thought of as his best friend. "You really thought you could pull all the strings, you could kill Kate and Ellen, get rid of everyone and everything that mattered to me, that you were such a perfect Machiavellian puppet master, manipulating me like a fucking marionette, but you were wrong."

Neal pulled out a second syringe, filled with enough pure heroin to bring down an elephant; he knelt over Mozzie and plunged it into the man's carotid artery and, as he depressed the plunger, he whispered, "I only let you get away with it until you decided to cross the line and fuck with Peter."

A sequel to these ficlets: Pulling Strings and Reason Enough

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal -- Rentboy cont. -- "Name your price."

Peter looked at the beautiful boy sleeping next to him and made careful plans; if Adler knew just how much he wanted Neal, he'd hang him out to dry and still not give up the prize.

Of course, it all depended on what the boy wanted and Peter knew that if Neal wanted to stay with Adler, there was no amount of money he could offer, no price he could pay that would justify taking the boy away from the life he wanted.

Just then, Neal opened those amazing eyes and whispered, "Can I stay with you forever?"

coffeethyme4me – Peter/Neal -- orchestra conductor/first violin

Peter hated prima donnas, he hated prodigies, he hated celebrity musicians who thought they were too good to stick to arrive on time. He especially hated Neal fucking Caffrey, who flirted like a pro – a professional cock-teaser – but thought he was too good to spend the whole night with the senior practice conductor for the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

And as that thought crossed his mind, Neal rushed into the auditorium, full of apologies, "Sorry I'm late – and Peter, I left my Stradivarius at your place last night, right?"

sinfulslasher – Author's Choice – Mad Scientist

Peter looked from Neal-1 to Neal-2 to Neal-3 and shook his head.

Neal-1 gave him an enticing smile as his leaned back on the bed, stark naked, while Neal-2 just started undoing his tie. Neal-3 – which may or may not be the original Neal, and his husband, – bit Peter's earlobe and whispered, "You know, we're all perfectly genetically matched, so it really isn't adultery."

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – Bath House

He wasn't the type of man who often indulged in random hookups, the anonymous fucking that was the reason why most men visited the bath houses, but he was lonely and, frankly, horny, and there was something to be said about faceless fucks in a dark, steam-filled room.

As he walked to the private room he'd reserved, he noticed a beautiful man, about ten years younger than him, lounging on the tile; their eyes met and in an instant, the transaction was complete. The beauty followed him into the room and without a word, Peter pushed him up against the wall, fucking him with little preparation and all the while wishing he was Neal.

sinfulslasher – Peter/Neal – Go-Go-Boy With Daddy Issues

Neal did a shimmy, a twirl, he shook his junk at the roaring crowd, and the lights went down – the all boy-as-girl lip-syncing ABBA tribute band had finished up their set with "Dancing Queen" and the crowd loved it. But frankly, Neal was glad that his time in the little birdcage was over for the night.

Peter was going to take him home and give him some good, hot loving, or better yet, a hard spanking for being such as slut and a tease while his daddy was waiting so very, very patiently for his boy to understand how important it was to be good.

kanarek13 – Peter – Chronicles

Peter sat in front of his laptop, stared at the blank screen and tried not to become traumatized at the emptiness of the page, the cursor flashing on nothingness. He always felt this way, and in the end, when he typed "FIN" at the bottom of the last page of the manuscript, he would always laugh at the memory of his earlier terror.

Fortified by that, he started to write and the words flowed easily: "When I met my fate, he was sitting on the floor of an abandoned apartment, clutching an empty bottle of wine and looking like life hadn't just kicked him in the teeth, but in the nuts, too."