I Blame it on the Pink

[elrhiarhodan]

I think it's because I'm not wearing black today (well, except for my watch, my shoelaces and my underpants), but my thoughts were definitely on the bizarre side this morning.

A random sample:

"I'm running late, so let's take the route to the highway with the most lights and make sure we're behind drivers who don't believe in making a right on red when there's no on-coming traffic." Yes, that's literally what I was thinking as I stopped for the sixth traffic light.

I'm wearing something that's not my winter coat, so I'm humming, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty." I catch a glimpse of my face framed by wispy gray hair and think, "NO."

It's Wednesday, and that means two things: It's HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPP DAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (earworms you for that Geico commercial) and Wednesday is Sundae at Carvel. At 7:32 AM, I wanted chocolate soft serve with extra sprinkles.

Passing the Bekins Van Lines truck, which has the annoying "How's My Driving" sign pasted on the back. "Like an asshole." Actually, I was thinking that he was driving like Michael Schumacher, but that was mean.

Passing by the time and temperature sign, which read 31 degrees, I had to wonder if there was more snow in forecast, and if so, who do I need to call to stop this. Then I remembered that it was supposed to be over sixty today and I wanted to know who I needed to call to stop that.

Apparently, "Box of Birds" is New Zealand slang for feeling very good. Why?

And of course, the ever confounding, eternal question:

Why is Matt Bomer so pretty?

Comments

[embroiderama]

Passing the Bekins Van Lines truck, which has the annoying "How's My Driving" sign pasted on the back. "Like an asshole." Actually, I was thinking that he was driving like Michael Schumacher, but that was mean.

If it's genuinely bad driving, consider calling the company to report it, especially if you can make a note of the truck number. (Usually, the number printed on the side of the truck near the front is more useful than the license plate number, but either will work.) I get calls like this at work sometimes, and while it doesn't lead to anybody being fired or other serious consequences it does lead to a bit of a talking-to and a reminder to drive more slowly/carefully/graciously/whatever. In a way, I see it as a favor because if these guys get in an accident it could lead to them not being able to be covered by the company vehicle insurance and thus losing their jobs.

[elrhiarhodan]

Actually, it was more that the van - an 18 wheeler - was going about 55 mph. The legal speed limit but about 20 miles slower than the pace of traffic around him. The line about Michael Schumacher was a bad (and mean joke) - the F1 champ has been in a coma for about 4 months.

And in other bizarre truck encounters, a Fed Ex delivery truck pulled into the parking lot, pulled into a parking spot and instead of making a K-turn and pulling out again, it drove over the curb, over the lawn and into the neighboring building's parking lot to make a delivery. Fed Ex does not have a driver complaint number and it's impossible to reach a live customer service rep.

[embroiderama]

Oh, I was totally clueless about the reference. Oops! And yikes at FedEx. I work for a much, much, much smaller company.