White Collar Ficlet - The Taste of Freedom (WC100 - #152 - Sour)

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: The Taste of Freedom
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey
Spoilers: NONE
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: NONE
Word Count: 300 – Exactly
Prompt: #152 - SOUR
Summary: He leaves, because he can’t stay.

A/N: I think this is the first current WC100 prompt I’ve filled in well over a year.

__________________



They aren’t even stops along the way, just small towns that he passes by on the way to somewhere else. Nowhere places, anonymous, empty.

Need is a tangible thing, driving him both forward towards the unknown and away from everyone and everything he loves. He’s too afraid to ask for what he wants and too desperate to hope that he’ll be given what he needs.

So Neal leaves. He kisses June on her smooth cheek; he lets her hold him one last time. They know that this goodbye is probably the last one. Moz doesn’t say anything; he just gives Neal that terrible look, a child once again abandoned. Neal won’t promise him more than an occasional postcard.

He doesn’t say goodbye to Peter. He can’t. He knows that. He tried to, once. He tried to leave without a word, but Peter chased him down. Even then, Peter knew that he was the only one who could make him stay.

So he goes through the motions, has Sunday dinner with the Burkes and tries not to long for everything he can’t have. He looks at Elizabeth and wishes he was in her place. He is a terrible person, he know that. He is cruel and evil and he’s going to break their hearts when he goes. But he’s going to destroy them if he stays.

So he kisses El’s cheek and says goodnight; he relishes the clap on his shoulder and keeps silent when Peter says that he’ll see him on Monday. He still can’t lie to Peter, not even in this last, terrible moment.

He gets in his car and drives away, stopping only to mail a letter that says everything he can’t bring himself to say. He doesn’t look back. Freedom is a sour taste in his mouth.

FIN

Comments

[embroiderama]

Oooh, Neal. I love the little, final details here.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much!

[maiac.livejournal.com]

So sad. Mozzie giving Neal that look, "a child once again abandoned", just about broke my heart.

But Neal, Peter will go after you and find you and bring you back. He always does.

[elrhiarhodan]

I always tear up - just a bit - at the goodbye scene between Moz and Neal in Out of the Box. So I went there for inspriation.

And check out the sequel - Too Late.

[vexed_wench]

Awwww this was so sad. Poor Neal.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so much.

[rabidchild.livejournal.com]

Nice. Peter will find you, Neal. He always does.

[elrhiarhodan]

Yes, my dear, he will.

Too Late

[sinfulslasher]

Argh, now I haz a sad! :(

This was heartbreaking. But, just like RC said, Peter will find Neal again. I just have to cling to that knowledge. *sniffles*

[elrhiarhodan]

Don't be sad, darling. It will be all right in the end.

There are always more prompts: Too Late

[miri-thompson.livejournal.com]

So terribly sad and so terribly beautiful--Neal doing the wrong thing for the right reason. (Or the right reason as far as he knows.)

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much - that's just the reaction I was hoping for.

[love-82.livejournal.com]

Neal. So sad. I love how he still can't bring himself to tell Peter a direct lie.

Now we need the sequel where Peter and El read the letter and find him and bring him home. :) Peter will find him regardless anyway.

[damietta.livejournal.com]

Aw, Moz.

This is one of those stories where you shout...."if only they would TALK to each other". You can just feel the clasp on the shoulder.

Yes, a sequel where they read the letter (and then discover Mozzie put a tracking device under the car).

[elrhiarhodan]

I know, I know. But their poor communications skills are legendary.

And there is a sequel: Too Late

[dizzydrea.livejournal.com]

My heart hurts after reading this. So, so sad and poignant. Especially Moz and his little-boy-lost look. You're killing me!

I agree with rabidchild: Peter will find Neal, no matter where he runs to. It's been proven by science (any experiment repeated with the same results is no longer theory but fact). I refuse to believe anything else.

[elrhiarhodan]

You are right, Peter will find Neal, no matter what.

Too Late

And while I am sorry to have made your heart hurt, it will be better.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Ow, that hurts... (which is a compliment!)

Beautifully restrained, which makes the impact even stronger. Poor Neal...

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much.

[pipilj.livejournal.com]

This is so sad

[elrhiarhodan]

I hope, though, in a good way.

[pipilj.livejournal.com]

Oh definitely in a good way. A poignant story.

[teaboyfan.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written, of course (after all, you wrote it), but it leaves poor Neal and the rest of them in such a bad place. I hope you'll be motivated soon to write a fix-it sequel. After all, we do know that Peter will find him.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so much, my dear. What a lovely, lovely compliemnt.

And yes, I was most certainly motivated: Too Late

[treonb.livejournal.com]

This is so sad. But Neal is underestimating Peter.. :-)

[elrhiarhodan]

Neal certainly is! And while he has something of a head start, he's going to be quite surprised someday soon.

Too Late

[hurinhouse.livejournal.com]

well done. all it would take is a roll of the dice and this exact thing would happen. he's going to feel lost when the anklet comes off.

gotta say though, i'm in the minority. i think if neal truly doesn't want to be found, peter doesn't stand a chance.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much!

While I do agree with you that Neal may be able to stay under Peter's radar for a while, I don't think he truly wants that.

And then, there's the sequel: Too Late

:D

[kanarek13]

Ouch. Poor Neal :( So sad. I think sometimes Neal is too afraid to ask for love because the chance that it will all end in a disaster is so great. Awww. It makes it all even more tragic. *hugs Neal*

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you, sweetness.

You're right - Neal is afraid of losing everything.

[dennih23.livejournal.com]

Beautifully sad – I love how Neal knows he cannot say goodbye to Peter. But I am sure once the letter arrives Peter will be chasing after Neal.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much, m'dear.

Peter will go after Neal, rest assured. See: Too Late

[ladygray99]

That last paragraph is what really makes the whole piece. You're so good with final lines.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. That is a very high compliment, indeed!