elrhiarhodan: (S4 Promo - Mozzie (Tiny Umbrella))
[personal profile] elrhiarhodan
Title: Dripping With Evilness
Author: [livejournal.com profile] elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, June Ellington
Prompt #070 – Roll
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 300 – Exactly
Summary: Mozzie meets his downfall. Written for the WC100 Anniversary Challenge.

A/N: No beta, all mistakes are mine and mine alone.

__________________




Moz knew this wasn’t a good idea, but June asked so little of him and she gave so much.

A trip to Costco in Yonkers wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. He didn’t mind pushing the cart, and there was always interesting things to see and touch. Except that some of June’s purchases baffled him. What did anyone need with so much mayonnaise? Or a five pound can of salmon? Or a package of six bunches of celery and four cartons of seasoned bread crumbs?

And Moz would rather not think about the hens that laid all of those eggs. All three dozen of them.

Everything would have been fine if June hadn’t asked him to run over to the Bakery section and get some hamburger buns. Four dozen, if you please. He came to a skidding halt, plastic bags of industrial baked goods in hand. There they were, on the table, so innocent. Dripping with evilness. Or rather, cream cheese frosting.

The sign called them Gooey Cinnamon Rolls. They should have been labeled Baked Goods of Doom.

He stared at the piles of plastic cartons and thought of all the reasons why he needed to turn around, take the hamburger buns to June, who was waiting at the register. He reminded himself that the devil does walk in this world, and its footprints are spiral shaped, filled with sugar and spice and everything nice.

Moz licked his lips and clenched his fists. The top box in the third row had so much extra icing that he could eat it with a spoon.

That night, as he passed out in a sugar coma, he thought he saw the devil. It took the box with the last cinnamon roll out of the trash and put it on the counter.

FIN
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Date: 2012-07-09 08:32 pm (UTC)
leonie_alastair: B/W Avedon captures a model w/umbrella in midair leaping over a puddle (Default)
From: [personal profile] leonie_alastair
This was great fun!

Date: 2012-07-10 01:41 am (UTC)
lapillus: (WC el aha)
From: [personal profile] lapillus
LOL! I love it! I love Mozzie and June, especially doing things together, and this is just a hoot.

Date: 2012-07-09 07:53 pm (UTC)
embroiderama: (White Collar - June & Mozzie)
From: [personal profile] embroiderama
He reminded himself that the devil does walk in this world, and its footprints are spiral shaped, filled with sugar and spice and everything nice.

ROTFL *dies* This is so awesome.

Date: 2012-07-09 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rabidchild.livejournal.com
Best last line ever

Date: 2012-07-09 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-82.livejournal.com
Hee, this is great! But now I want cinnamon rolls, so I am going to blame this if I end up buying some when I go shopping later. :) Although I don't need an excuse to buy junk food.
Edited Date: 2012-07-09 08:12 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-07-09 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeethyme4me.livejournal.com
>snort< I feel ya, little man. I feel ya.

Date: 2012-07-09 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elainasaunt.livejournal.com
I've totally done that. LOVE IT. (Thank you for short break of deliciousness!)

Date: 2012-07-09 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rchan.livejournal.com
LMAO! I love it. XD

Date: 2012-07-09 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterstar95.livejournal.com
Yeah I asked my husband once why the hell do we need a jar of mayonaisse bigger than your head. Great fic!

Date: 2012-07-09 10:55 pm (UTC)
vexed_wench: (Neal-dark)
From: [personal profile] vexed_wench
I love this. The friendship between June and Mozzie is so wonderful and you really highlighted it here.

Date: 2012-07-10 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] secretsolitaire.livejournal.com
Cinnamon rolls are so evil and so delicious! *wants them now*

Date: 2012-07-10 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damietta.livejournal.com
Oh, man. Now I'm going to have to put all of this on my shopping list....

I love Mozzie with June; they are both in their way very strong people even with their baggage.

Date: 2012-07-10 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pooh-collector.livejournal.com
I'm actually literally afraid of Costco and SuperWalmart for that matter.

Now I'm going to have nightmares about devils dancing along aisles with sky high shelving filled with tremendous jars of mayo

Date: 2012-07-10 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daria234.livejournal.com
LOL so great

Date: 2012-07-10 06:26 am (UTC)
kanarek13: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kanarek13
LOL... perfect! Oh, Moz :D Now I'm probably gonna giggle every time I see cinnamon rolls :D Thank you!

I forgot to add: Yonkers!\o/ Been there :D :D :D
Edited Date: 2012-07-10 06:31 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-07-10 09:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyrose42.livejournal.com
Must hit corner deli this morning for one of their pastries. Mozzie is now the imp/devil on my shoulder whispering "you want it, you need it, you will share it". One sticky bun with nuts, no raisins, please.

Date: 2012-07-10 11:22 am (UTC)
leesa_perrie: two cheetahs facing camera and cuddling (Mozzie)
From: [personal profile] leesa_perrie
LOL!! Brilliant!

Date: 2012-07-10 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calis-1st.livejournal.com
ROFLMAO. I totally get it - there's ALWAYS one with more icing on the top.
Page 1 of 3 << [1] [2] [3] >>

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