WC Vampire AU Fic - Help?
Apr. 7th, 2010 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elrhiarhodanI think I've got a bit of a problem. My current WC fic project - vampires and shapeshifers and ghouls - is coming along nicely, but it needs a dictionary. Is this really a good thing? Shouldn't the story stand on its own without footnotes or a list of defined terms?
Fowler looked up from the nearly drained corpse spread across his lap, blood and gore coating his mouth and throat. He hissed, “Burke – you have some nerve coming here. I never thought you were that stupid.” Stepping forward, Maurice drew his left gun, but he would only pull the trigger on his master’s command. “I’m loathe to kill a kinsman, but I owe you two in the heart.” With a bloody hand, he gestured. Maurice took aim at Peter’s chest, and put two bullets into his own brain.
Fowler jump up, dumping his meal, as Maurice’s body fell. He stared at Peter, whose eyes had turned brilliant white. He pushed his power against other vampire, without success. “Burke – you do not have that kind of control, even over a weak-willed ghoul.”
Peter spared a glance at the slowly reanimating body. While a lot of brain matter was splattered over the walls, floor and ceiling, there was enough left for ghoul to rise again. “Apparently, you are wrong – it seems that I have more than enough power. Over ghouls…” Peter spread his left hand and every bone in Maurice’s body shattered – it would take days, not hours for this ghoul to rise again, if it could. “And over vampires…” When he closed his fist, dozens of young, newly made vampires in the lair burst into dust. “For the record, you are no kin of mine.”
Fowler’s blood-drunk cadre, finally realizing that their master was in danger, arrayed themselves in front of him. The still twitching Maurice, reduced to a half-brainless sack of flesh and broken bits of bone, had been his nemesis’ best tool. Fowler didn’t keep strong vampires in his cadre. He claimed no vampire older than 20 years, worrying that such a one could rise in power and challenge his position within the Opyra kiss. The girls and boys Fowler called his lieutenants may have had some cunning and guile in life, but as vampires they lacked the strength and power that developed with a long death-age.
Is this something you'd want to read more of?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-07 09:13 pm (UTC)Also I can pretty much follow the terminology w/o a glossary, but I'm pretty well-read in vampire stories (one of my bffs is a pro horror writer) so maybe I'm just used to it. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-08 12:01 am (UTC)I like that this appears to be real horror/vampire/ghoul stuff and not like well Twilight stuff. No offense but I like the nasty dark kickass underground traditional vampire stuff like Dracula. LOVE the power in Peter.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-08 12:07 am (UTC)I grew up with Fred Saberhagen's retelling of Dracula, as well as CQ Yarbro's Saint-Germain (who's sort of a model for Peter, if you cross your eyes and squint).
I love LK Hamilton's vamps too. Not a sparkling vamp in sight here.
I'm working on refining Part I now...may post it before finishing Part II.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-08 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-08 01:08 am (UTC)I'd also like to see Peter, in any reality, kick Fowler's ass to kingdom come. Peter's so bad ass, I can totally see him as a monster fighting monsters.
I love reading violence and gore! My mind is spinning right now with how you'd fit Neal into it. Will it have sex, or will the vampires be like Anne Rice vampires where the blood takes place of sex?
I'm tired of short, kinky fics. Something with plot and character development would be so awesome.
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
You're my favorite. "blinks one brown and one half-blue eye at you" :-)