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elrhiarhodanTitle: Strange Antiquities
For: MMOM - Thirty (One) Dirty Words - Prompt 010 - Ivory
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey (Implied Peter/Neal)
Spoilers/Episode References: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 300 Exactly
Summary: Neal’s called in to verify the provenance on some antique ivories.
A/N: Writing this one was the first time I resented my self-imposed word count limitation, because I've actually got some plot going on here. I am also happy to note that MMOM is one-third completed, and I've not missed a day. I am having SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!
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The Customs area at the JFK cargo terminals was a busy place, but Peter held up his badge and was ushered into the holding area, Neal hot on his heels.
“Agent Burke!” A ICE agent approached. “Did you bring Mr. Caffrey?”
Neal waved and the agent breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you for coming.”
Neal opened his mouth, but Peter cut him off. “What’s the problem? Why do you need my consultant?”
The agent pushed a folder at Neal. “Are these authentic?”
Neal walked over to a brightly lit table and began his examination. “These are the provenance for a set of ivories from France, circa 1759?”
The ICE agent affirmed. “They supposedly belonged to the Duc du Orleans, and are part of a collection that’s being auctioned. Since they’re ivory, we can’t let them in without confirming they’re genuine antiques.
Neal turned to Peter. “This doesn’t feel right. The paper is correct, but there’s something off about the language. This is a bill of sale describing douzaine de …” Neal actually blushed.
“Neal?”
“Godemichés.”
“Godemichés?”
Neal’s blush got brighter. “A dozen dildos.”
“Oh.”
The agent shifted from foot to foot. “You want to see them?” He opened a large old leather case, hand tooled and gilded.
Their jaws dropped. These weren’t just dildos. They were, well… massive. Works of art, but massive. The smallest was a foot long and six inches around. And extraordinarily lifelike.
“I guess the Duchesse was a size queen.” Peter quipped.
“Except that these were the personal property of le Duc, according to the documentation.” Neal replied. There was something so arousing about these obscene antiquities, and on days like this, Neal really loved his work.
He tried to be discreet as he brushed his hand against his crotch. As discreet as Peter was.
FIN
For: MMOM - Thirty (One) Dirty Words - Prompt 010 - Ivory
Author:
elrhiarhodanFandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey (Implied Peter/Neal)
Spoilers/Episode References: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 300 Exactly
Summary: Neal’s called in to verify the provenance on some antique ivories.
A/N: Writing this one was the first time I resented my self-imposed word count limitation, because I've actually got some plot going on here. I am also happy to note that MMOM is one-third completed, and I've not missed a day. I am having SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!
The Customs area at the JFK cargo terminals was a busy place, but Peter held up his badge and was ushered into the holding area, Neal hot on his heels.
“Agent Burke!” A ICE agent approached. “Did you bring Mr. Caffrey?”
Neal waved and the agent breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you for coming.”
Neal opened his mouth, but Peter cut him off. “What’s the problem? Why do you need my consultant?”
The agent pushed a folder at Neal. “Are these authentic?”
Neal walked over to a brightly lit table and began his examination. “These are the provenance for a set of ivories from France, circa 1759?”
The ICE agent affirmed. “They supposedly belonged to the Duc du Orleans, and are part of a collection that’s being auctioned. Since they’re ivory, we can’t let them in without confirming they’re genuine antiques.
Neal turned to Peter. “This doesn’t feel right. The paper is correct, but there’s something off about the language. This is a bill of sale describing douzaine de …” Neal actually blushed.
“Neal?”
“Godemichés.”
“Godemichés?”
Neal’s blush got brighter. “A dozen dildos.”
“Oh.”
The agent shifted from foot to foot. “You want to see them?” He opened a large old leather case, hand tooled and gilded.
Their jaws dropped. These weren’t just dildos. They were, well… massive. Works of art, but massive. The smallest was a foot long and six inches around. And extraordinarily lifelike.
“I guess the Duchesse was a size queen.” Peter quipped.
“Except that these were the personal property of le Duc, according to the documentation.” Neal replied. There was something so arousing about these obscene antiquities, and on days like this, Neal really loved his work.
He tried to be discreet as he brushed his hand against his crotch. As discreet as Peter was.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 01:56 pm (UTC)Classic, bb!
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Date: 2011-05-11 12:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:56 pm (UTC)Thanks bb!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:58 pm (UTC)Don't you think that Customs agent was a little TOO eager to show those beauties to Peter and Neal?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:58 pm (UTC)Don't you think that Customs agent was a little TOO eager to show those beauties to Peter and Neal?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 12:58 pm (UTC)Thank you so much. So happy you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:48 am (UTC)this was great
and i am glad you are having so much fun giving the boys and girls of wc so many adventures :)
I find old sex stuff really interesting - like old "obscene" texts and things like that, where you know that it's from a rime where there was an obsession about propriety but there was super dirty stuff that was an open secret. and it's just a good reminder that mainstream views of history like to leave out the part about how people in the Enlightenment/other eras are still human beings with all that means lol.
Great fic
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:01 pm (UTC)I have always liked the old sex stuff too - real Victorian erotica, the sex toys marketed as "comforters" - those staid and uptight Victorians didn't like to talk about sex, but they apparently couldn't stop thinking about it.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 04:18 pm (UTC)Isn't that always the way? Can't talk about it = always thinking about it.
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Date: 2011-05-11 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:02 pm (UTC)Good one, thank you for making my morning.
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Date: 2011-05-11 07:57 pm (UTC)After mmom, you MUST do a sequel to this or extend it or whatever. MOAR PRON NAO. :D
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Date: 2011-05-12 01:01 am (UTC)I am actually planning on a whole series of "what happens next" stories, because as satisfying as it is to get everything told in 300 words, sometimes there is STILL more to tell.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-16 06:05 am (UTC)Massive, realistic dildoes are love.
I have this wonderful image of Neal and Peter jacking off in semi public and pretending they are oh so very subtle about it. <3 I think I'll keep this mental image around a while for replaying purposes in the future.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-24 10:11 pm (UTC)