Friday Rambles Are Hanging in There
Jan. 24th, 2014 08:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elrhiarhodanBeen a while since I rambled (checks tags, last usage of the "rambling rambles of randomness" tag was December 5th). So, there's quite a bit to catch up on.
1 - Life and Health Stuff. It's hard to believe but it's been a year since I was in the hospital (I got out on January 22, 2013). What a difference a year makes. By and large, I feel a hell of a lot better. More energy, more focus, less of the nagging sense that something is wrong we me. Of course, the weight loss helps. My blood glucose levels are in the "normal" range - i.e., what non-diabetics are - but that's because I'm taking cutting edge meds and I check my blood glucose levels many times a day. I also avoid nearly all carbs most of the time.
Yeah, there are times when I do fall off the wagon, but never so much that my sugars go beyond the normal post-prandial range.
Probably the biggest change in my life is eating at home. I have breakfast at home every day. One egg and one egg white, that's it. I do have lunch out (or I get lunch and bring it back to my desk). I rarely have dinner out any more. Contrast this to a year ago - breakfast out nearly every day, dinner out most nights. Not only was it unhealthy, but sooooo expensive.
Looking back over the rambles from the past year, I seem to be saying the same thing over and over again. So I guess it's true.
2 - Mood. Don't know if it's wintertime blues/blahs, over-investment in fannish behavior, or something more serious, but I've definitely been very moody lately. Feeling all sorts of negativity. I generally sail through winter - it's autumn that gets me down (all my losses happened between late October and mid-December). Maybe I was so busy this past fall that I didn't have time to feel, so the grief is like an accretion of stains and shadows, rising to the surface now.
So, if I seem abrupt or incommunicative or unfriendly or just a mean ol' Negative Nelly, don't take it personally, okay?
3 - Writing. It's going slowly. Very slowly. I have my piece for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
kidficstory about halfway done (posting is not until the end of February). One of my two stories for the wc_reverse_bb is well on its way after languishing in writer's block hell for weeks. I still love the original idea and I will write it eventually, but the world building was too daunting for a short writing period. Even with the month-long extension, it easily felt like a 70k minimum story and I just didn't have it in me.
I think, mainly, I was burned out. In November and December, I pushed out 124k and the words just stopped feeling good to me. The negativity issues I just talked about have encompassed my writing and the suck-voice seems to be a constant companion. I find myself tearing off at the slightest crit, which is unfair to my alpha and beta readers, who keep encouraging me and I keep pushing them away.
And let's talk about the death fic. Yeah, three stories in a month where I've killed Neal (and for the first time, killed Peter, too). I think it's the way I'm coping/not coping with canon developments and the strong feeling that White Collar will be cancelled (despite the network saying Season, not Series Finale and USA's track record of pre-announcing final seasons for all of its long-running shows).
Thank you to everyone who has read these stories and let me know how they were affected by them. Writing them wasn't easy - I have a collection of empty tissue boxes to prove that - but it was cathartic.
Can I promise I'm done with these desperately sad stories? No - in fact I have to promise the opposite, but at least I'm not killing Neal again (I feel like that episode from Torchwood).
5 - Work. Let's just say, I'm busy in a good way. We let go of someone who did sort of parallel work to my own responsibilities, and I've picked up those tasks. New stuff for me, so it's interesting, and without this guy's drama, the tension in the office has been greatly reduced. But that does mean that my unencumbered time is diminished and days go by without a chance to write. Which is, honestly, how it should be.
6 - Feeding Back. I've been terrible about posting feedback, particularly over the last few weeks when all of the wonderful Fandom Stocking stories have been reposted. I will strive to do better. To me, feeding back is an integral part of the writer/reader/writer contract, and it's unfair of me to fail to let my friends and fellow authors know how much I love and appreciate their stories, especially since they are all so unstinting with their own love.
And on a related note, I need to respond to feedback in a very big way. Someday in the very near future, I'm going to reply to all of the unreplied feedback over the last year, and you might find yourself spammed. Forgive me for (1) the failure to reply in a timely manner and (2) for doing so in a potentially annoying manner.
7 - Vacation. I'm heading to Arizona for my annual pilgrimage to the Tucson gem shows at the end of the first week in February. I'll probably just take the Bluetooth keyboard for my iPad, rather than the laptop. I won't be completely out of touch, but I may be hard to reach. More on that closer to departure.
8 - It's Too Fucking Cold. Winter, I am so over you. I know that I longed for your return not that long ago, but come on??? Days and days of single and barely double digit temps? It's not the snow, it's the snow that's not melting!!!!! And it's my office with the huge uninsulated window that simply radiate icy-cold temps. Wearing gloves interferes with my typing, you know.
9 - Bonus Bomers. So, to warm up, here are some pics of Matt and Simon in Cabo. I know these have been making the rounds, but Matt in a hat that's made of straw is too delicious for words.
1 - Life and Health Stuff. It's hard to believe but it's been a year since I was in the hospital (I got out on January 22, 2013). What a difference a year makes. By and large, I feel a hell of a lot better. More energy, more focus, less of the nagging sense that something is wrong we me. Of course, the weight loss helps. My blood glucose levels are in the "normal" range - i.e., what non-diabetics are - but that's because I'm taking cutting edge meds and I check my blood glucose levels many times a day. I also avoid nearly all carbs most of the time.
Yeah, there are times when I do fall off the wagon, but never so much that my sugars go beyond the normal post-prandial range.
Probably the biggest change in my life is eating at home. I have breakfast at home every day. One egg and one egg white, that's it. I do have lunch out (or I get lunch and bring it back to my desk). I rarely have dinner out any more. Contrast this to a year ago - breakfast out nearly every day, dinner out most nights. Not only was it unhealthy, but sooooo expensive.
Looking back over the rambles from the past year, I seem to be saying the same thing over and over again. So I guess it's true.
2 - Mood. Don't know if it's wintertime blues/blahs, over-investment in fannish behavior, or something more serious, but I've definitely been very moody lately. Feeling all sorts of negativity. I generally sail through winter - it's autumn that gets me down (all my losses happened between late October and mid-December). Maybe I was so busy this past fall that I didn't have time to feel, so the grief is like an accretion of stains and shadows, rising to the surface now.
So, if I seem abrupt or incommunicative or unfriendly or just a mean ol' Negative Nelly, don't take it personally, okay?
3 - Writing. It's going slowly. Very slowly. I have my piece for
kidficstory about halfway done (posting is not until the end of February). One of my two stories for the wc_reverse_bb is well on its way after languishing in writer's block hell for weeks. I still love the original idea and I will write it eventually, but the world building was too daunting for a short writing period. Even with the month-long extension, it easily felt like a 70k minimum story and I just didn't have it in me. I think, mainly, I was burned out. In November and December, I pushed out 124k and the words just stopped feeling good to me. The negativity issues I just talked about have encompassed my writing and the suck-voice seems to be a constant companion. I find myself tearing off at the slightest crit, which is unfair to my alpha and beta readers, who keep encouraging me and I keep pushing them away.
And let's talk about the death fic. Yeah, three stories in a month where I've killed Neal (and for the first time, killed Peter, too). I think it's the way I'm coping/not coping with canon developments and the strong feeling that White Collar will be cancelled (despite the network saying Season, not Series Finale and USA's track record of pre-announcing final seasons for all of its long-running shows).
Thank you to everyone who has read these stories and let me know how they were affected by them. Writing them wasn't easy - I have a collection of empty tissue boxes to prove that - but it was cathartic.
Can I promise I'm done with these desperately sad stories? No - in fact I have to promise the opposite, but at least I'm not killing Neal again (I feel like that episode from Torchwood).
5 - Work. Let's just say, I'm busy in a good way. We let go of someone who did sort of parallel work to my own responsibilities, and I've picked up those tasks. New stuff for me, so it's interesting, and without this guy's drama, the tension in the office has been greatly reduced. But that does mean that my unencumbered time is diminished and days go by without a chance to write. Which is, honestly, how it should be.
6 - Feeding Back. I've been terrible about posting feedback, particularly over the last few weeks when all of the wonderful Fandom Stocking stories have been reposted. I will strive to do better. To me, feeding back is an integral part of the writer/reader/writer contract, and it's unfair of me to fail to let my friends and fellow authors know how much I love and appreciate their stories, especially since they are all so unstinting with their own love.
And on a related note, I need to respond to feedback in a very big way. Someday in the very near future, I'm going to reply to all of the unreplied feedback over the last year, and you might find yourself spammed. Forgive me for (1) the failure to reply in a timely manner and (2) for doing so in a potentially annoying manner.
7 - Vacation. I'm heading to Arizona for my annual pilgrimage to the Tucson gem shows at the end of the first week in February. I'll probably just take the Bluetooth keyboard for my iPad, rather than the laptop. I won't be completely out of touch, but I may be hard to reach. More on that closer to departure.
8 - It's Too Fucking Cold. Winter, I am so over you. I know that I longed for your return not that long ago, but come on??? Days and days of single and barely double digit temps? It's not the snow, it's the snow that's not melting!!!!! And it's my office with the huge uninsulated window that simply radiate icy-cold temps. Wearing gloves interferes with my typing, you know.
9 - Bonus Bomers. So, to warm up, here are some pics of Matt and Simon in Cabo. I know these have been making the rounds, but Matt in a hat that's made of straw is too delicious for words.
