White Collar Ficlet - Dripping With Evilness (WC100 - 070 - Roll)

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: Dripping With Evilness
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Mozzie, June Ellington
Prompt #070 – Roll
Spoilers: None
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Word Count: 300 – Exactly
Summary: Mozzie meets his downfall. Written for the WC100 Anniversary Challenge.

A/N: No beta, all mistakes are mine and mine alone.

__________________



Moz knew this wasn’t a good idea, but June asked so little of him and she gave so much.

A trip to Costco in Yonkers wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. He didn’t mind pushing the cart, and there was always interesting things to see and touch. Except that some of June’s purchases baffled him. What did anyone need with so much mayonnaise? Or a five pound can of salmon? Or a package of six bunches of celery and four cartons of seasoned bread crumbs?

And Moz would rather not think about the hens that laid all of those eggs. All three dozen of them.

Everything would have been fine if June hadn’t asked him to run over to the Bakery section and get some hamburger buns. Four dozen, if you please. He came to a skidding halt, plastic bags of industrial baked goods in hand. There they were, on the table, so innocent. Dripping with evilness. Or rather, cream cheese frosting.

The sign called them Gooey Cinnamon Rolls. They should have been labeled Baked Goods of Doom.

He stared at the piles of plastic cartons and thought of all the reasons why he needed to turn around, take the hamburger buns to June, who was waiting at the register. He reminded himself that the devil does walk in this world, and its footprints are spiral shaped, filled with sugar and spice and everything nice.

Moz licked his lips and clenched his fists. The top box in the third row had so much extra icing that he could eat it with a spoon.

That night, as he passed out in a sugar coma, he thought he saw the devil. It took the box with the last cinnamon roll out of the trash and put it on the counter.

FIN

Comments

[leonie_alastair]

This was great fun!

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

[lapillus]

LOL! I love it! I love Mozzie and June, especially doing things together, and this is just a hoot.

[embroiderama]

He reminded himself that the devil does walk in this world, and its footprints are spiral shaped, filled with sugar and spice and everything nice.

ROTFL *dies* This is so awesome.

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

I loved that line too...even though I wrote it.

[rabidchild.livejournal.com]

Best last line ever

[elrhiarhodan]

\o/

Thank you!

[love-82.livejournal.com]

Hee, this is great! But now I want cinnamon rolls, so I am going to blame this if I end up buying some when I go shopping later. :) Although I don't need an excuse to buy junk food.

[elrhiarhodan]

Blame Moz...he has no willpower either!

Thank you!

[coffeethyme4me.livejournal.com]

>snort< I feel ya, little man. I feel ya.

[elrhiarhodan]

Hee...

We've all been there, right?

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

I've totally done that. LOVE IT. (Thank you for short break of deliciousness!)

[elrhiarhodan]

Although there are things I do need from Costco, I'm not allowing myself to go there...just because of those Baked Goods of Doom.

[rchan.livejournal.com]

LMAO! I love it. XD

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

[winterstar95.livejournal.com]

Yeah I asked my husband once why the hell do we need a jar of mayonaisse bigger than your head. Great fic!

[elrhiarhodan]

Those jars of mayo scare me as much as the really big boxes of cake mix.

Thank you!

[vexed_wench]

I love this. The friendship between June and Mozzie is so wonderful and you really highlighted it here.

[elrhiarhodan]

Yes, one of the completely unexpected treats for WC is the friendship between June and Mozzie. I'd love to hang out in the book club.

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

Cinnamon rolls are so evil and so delicious! *wants them now*

[elrhiarhodan]

Yeah - I'm not allowed to go to Costco when they have them in stock!

Thank you.

[damietta.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. Now I'm going to have to put all of this on my shopping list....

I love Mozzie with June; they are both in their way very strong people even with their baggage.

[elrhiarhodan]

You like salmon croquets?

Yeah - Moz and June are a terrific pair, especially because of their baggage.

[pooh-collector.livejournal.com]

I'm actually literally afraid of Costco and SuperWalmart for that matter.

Now I'm going to have nightmares about devils dancing along aisles with sky high shelving filled with tremendous jars of mayo

[elrhiarhodan]

Hee...hope you didn't have that nightmare. I would hate to be responsible for your sleepless night!

Thank you so much!

[daria234.livejournal.com]

LOL so great

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

[kanarek13]

LOL... perfect! Oh, Moz :D Now I'm probably gonna giggle every time I see cinnamon rolls :D Thank you!

I forgot to add: Yonkers!\o/ Been there :D :D :D

[elrhiarhodan]

I was going to say, I've been to Yonkers too. But then I remembered, you're NOT from New York! :D

Thank you so much.

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

Must hit corner deli this morning for one of their pastries. Mozzie is now the imp/devil on my shoulder whispering "you want it, you need it, you will share it". One sticky bun with nuts, no raisins, please.

[elrhiarhodan]

Yeah - no raisins in my sticky buns, please!

Thank you!

[leesa_perrie]

LOL!! Brilliant!

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you ! Love your Mozzie icon, too.

[calis-1st.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO. I totally get it - there's ALWAYS one with more icing on the top.

[elrhiarhodan]

Yeah, exactly!

Thank you.

[maiac.livejournal.com]

Of course those cinnamon rolls are evil. Costco is evil.* I got a Costco membership once. I went there twice, had a Choices Overload Anxiety Attack each time, and got a refund for the membership.

(* I don't really believe Costco is evil, especially since they treat their employees pretty decently and I have friends who can afford their prescriptions because of Costco. But it scares me anyway.)

Also, this is some awesome writing. (As always!)

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

I actually find Costco very limited in choice - at least for the things I shop for. And I do make it a point to avoid the bakery section. It's Not Good For Me (tm).

[leonie-alastair.livejournal.com]

This is way Costco is evil in every way! Loved it!

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you!

[jrosemary.livejournal.com]

Ack--sugar coma! In my head, Mozzie turns out to be just fine, despite the evil, and so very tasty, cream cheese frosting.

This was absolutely hilarious, Elr! Thanks for a big smile. :D

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. I was in Costco the other day and was very strong, I didn't let myself buy a box of evilness with cream cheese frosting.

[crism79.livejournal.com]

This was so much fun :D Loved it! :))

[elrhiarhodan]

Thank you so very much. I saw those rolls at Costco last week and nearly bought a box.

NEARLY.