White Collar Fic - We Shall Come Home - Chapter XIV

[elrhiarhodan]

Title: We Shall Come Home - Chapter XIV
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Pairing/Characters: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, Reese Hughes, Diana Berrigan, Clinton Jones, Mozzie, Satchmo, plus other characters.
Rating: R
Spoilers: None
Word Count: ~ 2000 (this chapter) ~61,000 (total)
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None
Summary: Transformed beyond recognition, beyond comprehension, Peter and Neal are lost in the woods and desperately try to get home. A tale of friendship, sacrifice, loss and ultimately, of love. Peter wakes up, and he needs to find Neal, regardless of the consequences to himself.

We Shall Come Home is not a work in progress. New chapters will be posted once a week, on Tuesdays.
Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI | Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII |

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CHAPTER XIV – TUESDAY MORNING


PETER REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS SLOWLY, AND CONFUSION WARRED WITH AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF GRIEF. He was warm and comfortable, his bed was soft and there were blankets and pillows and someone was holding his … hand. Peter opened his eyes to find himself in a dimly lit private hospital room, attached to a variety of monitors and IVs, and to his wife.

“Peter?”

He turned towards the sound of her voice. During the entire ordeal, Peter had never allowed himself to doubt that he’d hear it again, but he had forgotten the sound of his name from her lips. It was a benediction, a blessing. He didn’t even try to stop the tears that welled up and poured down his face.

“Elizabeth?” His own voice was harsh, scratchy from disuse.

She let go of his hand for a brief moment and the room brightened. Elizabeth came back and leaned over the bed, kissing his face, his eyelids, his dry lips. “Peter, thank god. Thank god you’re back, you’re all right.”

He tried to raise himself up, but was appalled at the weakness of this body. She pressed a button and the head of the bed slowly lifted him to a sitting angle.

“What happened?”

“Don’t you remember?”

Peter closed his eyes. He remembered everything up until … “I came home, you were there. You let me in.”

“Yes…”

There was a pregnant pause, and Peter was afraid to articulate his next thought. Maybe the whole thing had been a dream born of a long illness. But it wasn’t.

“You were a dog, Peter. You were a huge dog.”

He let out a shuddering sigh.

“But I knew it was you. I could see your eyes – it was you.”

Peter could hear the millions of questions that Elizabeth wasn’t asking. Questions that he was not prepared to answer. Not yet, not now, not here.

She brushed her hand against his face, and gave a light and awkward laugh. “You need a shave, love.”

He looked at her, the urgency that drove him back to consciousness propelling him to action. “No, what I need is to get out of this damn hospital bed and find Neal.” He coughed against the dryness in his throat, but the thought of drinking anything made him ill.

“Honey, relax…”

“They’ve found him?” He was filled with relief, but was immediately brought down to earth.

“No, but the entire team is looking for him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were missing for more than five days. They’ve been searching for the two of you…”

“Damn it, Elizabeth…” Peter ignored the hurt look in his wife’s eyes. “They don’t even have the slightest clue where to begin. Neal’s in Brooklyn – he’s somewhere near here. He’s lost and alone and he won’t be able to find his way home.” He struggled to get out of bed, but the bars were raised on both sides.

“Peter, please calm down. Hughes and Diana and Jones will be back in a minute, you can tell them everything.”

“No, I can’t wait. They won’t be able to find him. You don’t understand, Elizabeth. I left him behind, after everything he did, after every sacrifice. I left him behind to come home to you.” Peter’s voice cracked, but his resolve to get up seemed to be fueled by his anguish. He started pushing on the bed frame.

“Peter, please. Please – you’ll hurt yourself.”

He ignored the anxiety in Elizabeth’s voice.

“I’ve got to get out of here, I’ve got to find him. You don’t understand, you don’t understand.” Peter threw off Elizabeth’s restraining hand.

“Tell me, Peter. Make me understand.”

All he could keep saying was, “I left him, I left him behind. He’s lost and frightened and I left him behind.” Peter thought he was going to break apart from the grief.

“Peter, it’s Neal, remember? Whether he’s human or …” He knew why Elizabeth was pausing “… dog, he’s still Neal, right?”

“No, he’s not. Not now, not any longer. You don’t understand.”

“Peter, please. You keep telling me that, so make me understand.”

Peter took a deep, shuddering breath. “Neal’s not Neal . Not the way I was always myself. He’s a dog, with a dog’s mind, and instincts and intelligence. He’s …” Peter stopped himself from repeating the refrain that’d been endlessly running through his head. He wanted to explain to Elizabeth what it meant, what Neal sacrificed to make sure that Peter got home, but he couldn’t put it into words. Instead, he got himself tangled in the wires and tubes and starting pulling on everything. He had to get out of there. He had to go NOW.

“Peter, stop it. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

In his panicked state, he ignored her and yanked at the leads, setting the monitor alarms off. He didn’t seem to notice them, or Elizabeth running out of the room. Suddenly there was a large set of hands on him, restraining him against the bed.

“Mr. Burke, we need you to calm down.” The voice came from a large man in patterned scrubs. Peter didn’t care if he was a nurse, an orderly or the chief of medicine. He needed to get up, get dressed and get out of this damn hospital.

“It’s Agent Burke, and don’t tell me to calm down. My partner is out there, he’s in danger and he needs me.”

“I’m sure your colleagues are looking for him. You’ve been through quite an ordeal yourself. You need to just relax and get better.”

Peter glared at the man. “You don’t know a goddamned fucking thing – and if you don’t get these damn tubes out of me now, I’m going to take them out myself.”

He ignored Elizabeth’s shocked gasp at his profanity, and grabbed hold of the man’s wrist. Even from his supine position, and in a weakened state, he was able to apply pressure at the right points to get him to release his hold. Peter tried to take advantage and slapped away the other hand. But damn it to hell, he was so debilitated, he couldn’t get up and off the bed.

The nurse (Peter finally noticed the stethoscope) called out and several more people came into his room – these were definitely orderlies.

“Agent Burke, if you don’t calm down, we are going to have to put you in restraints.”

“Like hell you will.”

“Peter, please, please, just relax. Hughes and the others will be back in a moment, you can talk to them, tell them what they need to do to find Neal.”

“Elizabeth, I am begging you… ” He became desperate. “Don’t let them do this. You know I have to find Neal. Please, please.” Peter finally broke down, reaching the limits of his physical and emotional reserves.

The nurse nodded at the orderlies and they put his hands in padded restraints. “Agent Burke, I’m going to call your doctor for an order for Ativan. It will calm you down, let you relax and start healing.”

This started Peter up again, and he tugged uselessly at the restraints. “You aren’t giving me a sedative, you expressly do NOT have my permission to give me a sedative.”

The nurse looked from him to Elizabeth.

“Honey, you need it. You aren’t going to do Neal or yourself any good if you collapse or hurt yourself trying to get out of this bed. Listen to me, Peter. You are in no shape to go anywhere. You didn’t make it home just to kill yourself trying to rescue Neal. Again.”

The last word was said sotto voce, but Peter heard Elizabeth’s aggravation quite clearly.

“El, what are you getting at?” Peter’s voice was quiet, and, for the first time since he woke up, controlled and free of emotion.

“Nothing, Peter. Nothing except that you’ve made a career out of rescuing Neal from his follies and foibles. You’re home safe and sound now.”

Completely mindful of the nurse and orderlies, Peter kept his mouth shut until they left the room.

“Close the door, Elizabeth. Please.” He used the intervening moments to rein in his anger. But when she came back to his bedside, he couldn’t look at her.

“Peter, I’m sorry. That was wrong and uncalled for. Neal’s your partner, your friend. You have every right to worry about him – but you have to let others help you. You’re in no condition to get out of this hospital bed.”

Peter gritted his teeth against the calm reason of his wife’s voice. “You’re right that I’m home safe and sound – but I wouldn’t have been without Neal. He kept me alive, he saved my life time after time. I’d have died without him, and he’s out there, alone, lost …” Peter didn’t want to think of the sacrifice Neal made for him. Tears coursed unchecked down his face and into the scruff that still cloaked his face.

“Elizabeth, get me out of here.” He knew he was being irrational, but if he didn’t find Neal, he didn’t know what was going to happen to him. “Please.”

“I will, honey. As soon as you’re better, I’ll take you home.” He closed his eyes as she wiped his tears away, and when she took his hand again, he held on tightly.

The door opened and a kindly, middle-aged woman in a white coat came in. “Agent Burke, good to see you awake. I’m Doctor Stein. Your nurse tells me that you’re quite agitated.”

Peter tried to keep control over himself and his emotions. “I’m okay now.”

She checked his pulse and looked at his chart, hmmm-ing in the disturbing way that doctors tend to do. “I haven’t been told everything about what happened to you – ”

When Peter started to interrupt her, she held up a hand. “And that’s okay – there are some things that I don’t need to know. But I do know that whatever has happened to you has taken a huge toll on you physically. There is a reason why you are in the ICU. You’ve lost more than twenty-five pounds, almost all of it muscle mass. Your entire body chemistry is out of balance – the results of your blood work are consistent with those of a long-term POW, and you are probably going to need some rehabilitative treatment. If you insist on getting up and out of bed, and leaving this hospital, you are at serious risk of causing severe and possibly permanent damage. I’ll be blunt, Agent Burke. You can give yourself a serious heart attack with very little effort if you don’t let yourself heal. Do you understand?”

Peter nodded.

She was blunt. “You’ll be here for a few days, but I think we can get you out of ICU tonight – if you follow orders. I know you are very anxious about your partner, but you won’t do him any good if you’re dead.” The doctor pulled out a syringe and a bottle. “I want to give you some Ativan. It will help you relax. Believe me, the healing power of good sleep can’t be understated.”

Before Peter could speak, Elizabeth interrupted.

“Doctor, can you please hold off on the sedative for just a little while? Peter’s colleagues are waiting to talk to him. They had just gone down for coffee before he woke up. It’s very important. If you sedate Peter now, he’s only going to be in worse shape when the drug wears off.”

She looked from wife to husband, and nodded. “Okay, but it’s got to be brief – no more than ten minutes.”

The doctor left, and Peter turned to his wife in gratitude. “Thank you.”

She kissed him again and went to find Hughes and company.


To Be Continued

Comments

[queenaeron.livejournal.com]

You suck! Just plain old suck!

I have to wait another week for the next part!

I hate you!

Ok, I really don't, but you are really killing me with your To Be Continued!

[micheleeeex.livejournal.com]

*waits patiently for the next chapter*

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

Too short!!

[ursula4x.livejournal.com]

I love Peter's passion here, as he struggles to help Neal. To see him show anger at El over Neal was startling, but it worked so well in this story.

[iamhere23.livejournal.com]

Ahh!! I hope Peter breaks out of the hospital anyway or at least gets to call Mozzie and tells him to find Neal!

I guess Peter must feels twice as responsible for Neal now, after sharing his thoughts and feelings, and after everything Neal sacrificed!

[aliwc.livejournal.com]

So realistic. Gut wrenching. You know how to get my pulse going.

[rude02.livejournal.com]

umm... a week? Too much. Also, I'm hating Elizabeth now..

[deepasocean.livejournal.com]

I can't believe she said that. I hate her now.