Snippets From Last Night's Dinner Party

It was my friend B's (V's husband) 63rd birthday party. Not quite a surprise party -- since he wasn't surprised to see a bunch of people at the restaurant. It was fun, although I probably would have enjoyed myself more had I not just come home from a vacation spent with too many people (yes, I am still bitching about THAT). The conversation should have been witty and sophisticated. IT WAS NOT. It seemed to center around bodily functions of man and beast.

"The little one really likes to eat goose poo. I try not to let him french me afterwards."

"The bathroom isn't air conditioned. It smells." "It didn't smell went I went in." "Well, it smells now. Did you have the brocolli?"

"Do you know how difficult it is to pee standing up when you're on crutches?"

"For eight years, I've been trying to break him of that habit, but he still likes to lick his balls. Even though he doesn't have any."

"I like to each the chocolate frosting, she likes to eat the cake. What does that say about us?"

Snippets From Last Night's Dinner Party

It was my friend B's (V's husband) 63rd birthday party. Not quite a surprise party -- since he wasn't surprised to see a bunch of people at the restaurant. It was fun, although I probably would have enjoyed myself more had I not just come home from a vacation spent with too many people (yes, I am still bitching about THAT). The conversation should have been witty and sophisticated. IT WAS NOT. It seemed to center around bodily functions of man and beast.

"The little one really likes to eat goose poo. I try not to let him french me afterwards."

"The bathroom isn't air conditioned. It smells." "It didn't smell went I went in." "Well, it smells now. Did you have the brocolli?"

"Do you know how difficult it is to pee standing up when you're on crutches?"

"For eight years, I've been trying to break him of that habit, but he still likes to lick his balls. Even though he doesn't have any."

"I like to each the chocolate frosting, she likes to eat the cake. What does that say about us?"

Amazon.com - You Baffle Me

Sometimes, I just can't figure Amazon out. About a year ago, my Canon 50mm f1.8 lens literally fell apart. I just had taken it out of my lens case and the whole thing disintegrated into its component pieces - like it had been hit with entropy. (Research into the issue showed that this was a common failing with this super-cheap lens).

So, after struggling without a good medium distance prime lens in my kit for a while, and not willing to repurchase the f1.8 cheap piece of crap, I broked down yesterday and ordered the Canon 50mm f1.4 - which is fast and quiet.  I also wanted it in my hands as soon as possible.  Why?  To play with it a bit before the Paley Center event on Tuesday night...just thinking about getting pictures of Tim and Matt with all that lovely bokeah surrounding them makes me, well, squishy.

So anyway, I have an Amazon Prime account, and the first thing I look for is the lens listed as a Prime item.  It is...and I order it.  And it isn't Prime, but the shipping's free.  I click "BUY" and when the confirmation comes through, the delivery date (from Adorama in midtown Manhattan) is late next week.  WTF????

I cancelled the order immediately, and went  back to the item.  Strange, it IS available as Prime, but it's $10 more.  Okay, I can deal with that.  I placed the order, and spring for the $3.99 for next day delivery.  And guess what, kiddies...the darn thing is still cheaper than the one I originally ordered.  That one, Amazon charged sales tax.  This one, they didn't.  Who know why, and at this point, I don't even care.  The order status page tells me the box is out of delivery, so I'll have it when I get home tonight.

Amazon.com - You Baffle Me

Sometimes, I just can't figure Amazon out. About a year ago, my Canon 50mm f1.8 lens literally fell apart. I just had taken it out of my lens case and the whole thing disintegrated into its component pieces - like it had been hit with entropy. (Research into the issue showed that this was a common failing with this super-cheap lens).

So, after struggling without a good medium distance prime lens in my kit for a while, and not willing to repurchase the f1.8 cheap piece of crap, I broked down yesterday and ordered the Canon 50mm f1.4 - which is fast and quiet.  I also wanted it in my hands as soon as possible.  Why?  To play with it a bit before the Paley Center event on Tuesday night...just thinking about getting pictures of Tim and Matt with all that lovely bokeah surrounding them makes me, well, squishy.

So anyway, I have an Amazon Prime account, and the first thing I look for is the lens listed as a Prime item.  It is...and I order it.  And it isn't Prime, but the shipping's free.  I click "BUY" and when the confirmation comes through, the delivery date (from Adorama in midtown Manhattan) is late next week.  WTF????

I cancelled the order immediately, and went  back to the item.  Strange, it IS available as Prime, but it's $10 more.  Okay, I can deal with that.  I placed the order, and spring for the $3.99 for next day delivery.  And guess what, kiddies...the darn thing is still cheaper than the one I originally ordered.  That one, Amazon charged sales tax.  This one, they didn't.  Who know why, and at this point, I don't even care.  The order status page tells me the box is out of delivery, so I'll have it when I get home tonight.

White Collar Fic - Blood of Helios - Vampire World Prologue

Title: The Blood of Helios - Vampire World: Prologue
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, Jones, Diana Lancing, Lauren Cruz, Satchmo, Reese Hughes, June, Mozzie, Garrett Fowler, Kate Moreau, Maurice (Fowler’s stooge)
Spoilers: It’s a Vampire A/U, do you think there are really any spoilers
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: Lots of blood and gore - plus plot
Word Count: ~2800
Summary: Vampire Peter, Shapeshifter El and Neal, who is something more than he ever expected to be. Prologue - We are at some point between the beginning and the end of the tale.

A/N: Beta’d by the awesome riazendira, and also help from deedo_2313. All mistakes, naturally are mine. Feedback is adored.

__________________

( Just after midnight of the third day, Peter materialized inside his rival’s lair, a huge black leopard at his side. )

White Collar Fic - Blood of Helios - Vampire World Prologue

Title: The Blood of Helios - Vampire World Prologue
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: NC-17, for Horror
Characters: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, Jones, Diana Lancing, Lauren Cruz, Satchmo, Reese Hughes, June, Mozzie, Garrett Fowler, Kate Moreau, Maurice (Fowler’s stooge)
Spoilers: Most Episodes – Alternate Universe
Warnings/Triggers: Lots of blood and gore - plus plot
Word Count: ~ 2800
Summary: Vampire Peter, Shapeshifter El and Neal, who is something more than he ever expected to be.  Prologue - We are at some point between the beginning and the end of the tale.

I had started writing this as a fun bit of crack, emotional release after finishing Wash the Sins Away. It took on a life of its own. This story is dedicated to gyzym who has held my hand and encouraged me when I felt this was all turning to shite. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.

Beta’d by the awesome riazendira, and also help from deedo_2313  All mistakes, naturally are mine.  Feedback is adored.

______________________( The Blood of Helios - Prologue )



White Collar Fic - Truth and Nightmares (Paladin 'Verse)

Title: Truth and Nightmares
Author: elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: R
Characters: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, Mozzie (Pre-OT3)
Spoilers: Out of the Box
Warnings/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~2800
Summary: Neal, Elizabeth and Some Very Hard Truths (Plus some Mozzie)

A/N: Note: For surreal_44’s Five Acts Prompt - she wanted H/C and Cuddle, sex optional. I hope this is what she wants.


______________________

(  Since then, Mozzie always sleeps on Neal’s couch. This isn’t much different from their arrangement before, but now he does so at the behest of the Suit and Mrs. Suit.  )