elrhiarhodan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elrhiarhodan) wrote2012-04-17 09:28 am
elrhiarhodan) wrote2012-04-17 09:28 am
White Collar Ficlet - Betrayal (the lunchmeat edition)
Title: Betrayal (the lunchmeat edition)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elrhiarhodan
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, (P/E/N)
Spoilers: Could be considered a tag for 3.13 – Neighborhood Watch
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None to speak of, other than a little crack
Word Count: ~400
Summary: Elizabeth commits the ultimate act of betrayal
A/N: Written as a fill forleonie_alastair, as a response to this prompt on my on-going meme.
No beta. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
__________________
“I can’t believe you did that, El! Do you know how much this hurts?”
Elizabeth winced at the outrage in Neal’s voice. “I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
“You, of all people should know better.”
“It’s not like it’s the end of the world, Neal. And isn’t variety is the spice of life?”
He continued, as if she never spoke, “To betray Peter like that.”
She shook her head. Clearly, Neal wasn’t in any mood to listen to reason. “It was for his own good.”
“His own GOOD?!?!?!?!?!?!!” The indignation was classic Caffrey. “First you say you need variety, and then you say you did it for his benefit. Which is it, Elizabeth? And while you make up your mind, consider that you owe both of us an apology.” Neal stood there, arms folded across his chest, those blue eyes flashing in anger.
“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far? It’s not like I went out and fucked Mozzie in the Taurus or had an affair with Jones.”
“That wouldn’t have been half as bad as this.” Neal wasn’t giving up his anger so easily.
“Look – Peter’s doctor said that he needed to cut back on his sodium intake. Do you have any idea how much there is in a single serving of deviled ham?”
Neal blinked and it seemed like she was finally getting through to him. Time to hit it out of the park. “Look, we both want Peter to live a long and healthy life. You know that blood pressure medications can have an unpleasant effect on male libido.”
“His blood pressure is that bad?” Now, Neal was all concern and worry.
“No – but it could be if he doesn’t watch what he eats. There’s nothing wrong with white meat turkey on low calorie rye.”
Neal let out a gusty sigh. “When Peter and I do a stakeout in the car, it’s deviled ham and the Yankees game. Not white meat turkey on low-cal rye and a Mets game. It doesn’t work like that.”
El couldn’t keep the expression of triumph off her face.
He glared at her and she could see the light dawning in his eyes. “You didn’t want to make Peter the deviled ham sandwich, did you? For shame, Elizabeth Burke. For shame.”
And here we go again. “Did Peter put you up to this? Did he spend the whole night complaining?”
“No – of course he didn’t. He wouldn’t. But you should have seen his face when he took out his sandwich. You might as well have stuck a knife in him.”
“Neal – enough. I’ve been making Peter those disgusting sandwiches for all the years we’ve been married and sometimes I just need a change of pace.” El walked away, she had to. Neal may be their lover and best friend, but sometimes he was such a little boy.
“But – but … you jinxed the stakeout!”
FIN
Author:
elrhiarhodanFandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke, (P/E/N)
Spoilers: Could be considered a tag for 3.13 – Neighborhood Watch
Warnings/Enticements/Triggers: None to speak of, other than a little crack
Word Count: ~400
Summary: Elizabeth commits the ultimate act of betrayal
A/N: Written as a fill for
leonie_alastair, as a response to this prompt on my on-going meme.No beta. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
“I can’t believe you did that, El! Do you know how much this hurts?”
Elizabeth winced at the outrage in Neal’s voice. “I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
“You, of all people should know better.”
“It’s not like it’s the end of the world, Neal. And isn’t variety is the spice of life?”
He continued, as if she never spoke, “To betray Peter like that.”
She shook her head. Clearly, Neal wasn’t in any mood to listen to reason. “It was for his own good.”
“His own GOOD?!?!?!?!?!?!!” The indignation was classic Caffrey. “First you say you need variety, and then you say you did it for his benefit. Which is it, Elizabeth? And while you make up your mind, consider that you owe both of us an apology.” Neal stood there, arms folded across his chest, those blue eyes flashing in anger.
“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far? It’s not like I went out and fucked Mozzie in the Taurus or had an affair with Jones.”
“That wouldn’t have been half as bad as this.” Neal wasn’t giving up his anger so easily.
“Look – Peter’s doctor said that he needed to cut back on his sodium intake. Do you have any idea how much there is in a single serving of deviled ham?”
Neal blinked and it seemed like she was finally getting through to him. Time to hit it out of the park. “Look, we both want Peter to live a long and healthy life. You know that blood pressure medications can have an unpleasant effect on male libido.”
“His blood pressure is that bad?” Now, Neal was all concern and worry.
“No – but it could be if he doesn’t watch what he eats. There’s nothing wrong with white meat turkey on low calorie rye.”
Neal let out a gusty sigh. “When Peter and I do a stakeout in the car, it’s deviled ham and the Yankees game. Not white meat turkey on low-cal rye and a Mets game. It doesn’t work like that.”
El couldn’t keep the expression of triumph off her face.
He glared at her and she could see the light dawning in his eyes. “You didn’t want to make Peter the deviled ham sandwich, did you? For shame, Elizabeth Burke. For shame.”
And here we go again. “Did Peter put you up to this? Did he spend the whole night complaining?”
“No – of course he didn’t. He wouldn’t. But you should have seen his face when he took out his sandwich. You might as well have stuck a knife in him.”
“Neal – enough. I’ve been making Peter those disgusting sandwiches for all the years we’ve been married and sometimes I just need a change of pace.” El walked away, she had to. Neal may be their lover and best friend, but sometimes he was such a little boy.
“But – but … you jinxed the stakeout!”
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that was hilarious and perfectly drawn late explanation.
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Thank you!
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Thank you!
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I did a total spit-take at this line.
::still giggling::
But wait until Neal decides that There's Something Bothering El that has nothing to do with Peter's blood pressure, and he has to find out what it is.
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Yes, maybe El was angry at Peter for some reason, after all - she saved the dryest pieces of turkey, plue the heel of the loaf, and didn't bother with the mayo or even a limp piece of lettuce.
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Maybe there's something that has nothing to do with Peter. She may even have switched sandwiches for Neal's benefit, knowing he loathes even the smell of deviled ham. But he's not even grateful! What next?
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"Now, Neal was all concern and worry." Over Peter not getting it up. Nice, Neal. Nice. ;-)
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Thank you, darling.
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Loved it.
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