To be honest (and I always am, you know), as an impressionable teenager, I read an article in Vanity Fair about some bizarre English art collector (a peer of the realm) who used to dye pigeons and photograph them. There was a quotation in that article that never left me:

"The wet ones get more sex.

So, sue me for being such a kinky freak. This is what happens when 14 year olds read things that they probably shouldn't!