This showed up on my flist again. And I read it again. And, knowing exactly what was coming, I wept from the beginning. An honest steady build up of emotion. I was hoping to be coherent at the end, but no.
I think it hurts because it's a scenario that I could see - Peter not quite being able to forgive and walking away and something happening to Neal. And also, because as a human - I wouldn't be able to blame him, not really. We've all got people our lives might be easier without. People we wish we knew how to let go of. (Just me?) But when you do that, you lose the ability to go back and try again and make things ok.
I've been walked away from. Because I chose to do something about someone else's wrong choices. It might have been the right thing, but it really really wasn't. I know that now - it's been 10 years and I miss my friend, everyday. This makes me wan to call her.
So yeah. You struck a cord. Both in fandom and in my RL. I know I already commented - but I just wanted to tell you how this touched me. Sorry for the overshare. I tend to do that when I get emotional. lol
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I think it hurts because it's a scenario that I could see - Peter not quite being able to forgive and walking away and something happening to Neal. And also, because as a human - I wouldn't be able to blame him, not really. We've all got people our lives might be easier without. People we wish we knew how to let go of. (Just me?) But when you do that, you lose the ability to go back and try again and make things ok.
I've been walked away from. Because I chose to do something about someone else's wrong choices. It might have been the right thing, but it really really wasn't. I know that now - it's been 10 years and I miss my friend, everyday. This makes me wan to call her.
So yeah. You struck a cord. Both in fandom and in my
RL. I know I already commented - but I just wanted to tell you how this touched me. Sorry for the overshare. I tend to do that when I get emotional. lol